<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Flappr]]></title><description><![CDATA[Flappr]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 11 Mar 2026 04:12:09 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.flappr.net/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Nipple Aesthetics: A Primer on Pokies]]></title><description><![CDATA[The nipple is essential to assessing the allure of bosoms. When it comes to the beauty of a breast, nipples are as important as the size, shape, and density of a given set. This is not to say that a pair of mind-blowing brassiere busters suddenly become undesirable if the bumps around the areola (called Montgomery Tubercles, named after that lucky SOB, William Montgomery, an Irish physician and obstetrician) are a little . . . extra bumpy. No, all bosoms are amazing, but we CANNOT ignore the...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/nipple-aesthetics-a-primer-on-pokies</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6984b683889819a51f0ca46a</guid><pubDate>Thu, 05 Feb 2026 16:07:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_5b79d68f7a384d919f83857a34c62367~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[On Atrophy and Content Creation ]]></title><description><![CDATA[The 2025 Milkers of the Year Awards  blog was a rousing success, racking up over a MILLION impressions  on X and over 250,000 link clicks. It's the most viewed thing I've ever written (I think?), yet writing the 2025 Milkers of the Year Awards proved harder than I expected. Actually, that’s putting it mildly. Writing the 2025 Milkers of the Year Awards  fucking sucked. The inspiration was there, but funneling it through my fingers and onto the page was shitty. Painful. Awful. The words didn’t...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/on-atrophy-and-content-creation</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6973a973affc20191ac4b531</guid><pubDate>Fri, 30 Jan 2026 17:37:51 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_2763e6c156564c0486eb16a94712c595~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Milkers Of The Year Awards ]]></title><description><![CDATA[CLICK TO READ THE AWARDS | MOMMY MILKY DIVISION  | VINTAGE MILK VESSELS  | | ROOKIE OF THE YEAR  |  IBTC DIVISION  | | CMOTY DIVISION  | MOST TALKED ABOUT MILKERS  | | BREAST IN SHOW (MILKERS OF THE YEAR)  | Folks, it’s that time of year again. Time for our annual Jubilee of Jugs , where we Marvel at the Mightiest of Melons , Tout the Titans of Titillation , Recognize Rod-Raising Royalty , and Crown the most Captivating of Cannons . It’s the 2025 Milkers of the Year Awards, and this year...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/moty-2025</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69729692519b90905cbca2f6</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:32:43 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_64ce4d57fca44dbf900a9c5a6ef66f38~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Most Talked About Milkers]]></title><description><![CDATA[The Most Talked About Milkers (MTAM) Division Past MTAM Champions: Sydney Sweeney  (2024), Lauren Boebert  (2023), Nancy Pelosi  (2022) The Most Talked About Milkers Division exists at the intersection of beauty, controversy, and cultural obsession. MTAMs are not merely Admired Airbags , nor are they distractions from the narrative; they are the narrative in and of themselves. These Weapons of Mass Seduction  are discussed , dissected, defended, denounced, memed, litigated, and reposted until...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-most-talked-about-milkers</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69727827aa29322cefc94844</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:28:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_effd943b6f9b4425ab0590786af16f16~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Rookie of the Year]]></title><description><![CDATA[Rookie of the Year Past Rookie of the Year Winners: Oilers Flasher Girl (Kait Flynn) (2024); Tiffany Gomas  (TMFINR) (2023) Rookie of the Year honors those moments when someone steps into public view and the air changes. Not because she asked for permission, but because she kicked in the door to our public consciousness, and her Newbie Nubile Nodes  announced their presence with authority. Sharp, bold, and too fully realized to be accidental. The kind of emergence that clicks instantly,...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-rookie-of-the-year</link><guid isPermaLink="false">697288b6ab08e1a85c341496</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:26:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_a4ad86b839ea42cab4d92051199c0187~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Comeback Milkers Of The Year]]></title><description><![CDATA[Comeback Milkers Of The Year (CMOTY) Past Winners: Kate Upton  (2024) The CMOTY Division exists to honor a beautiful phenomenon: rediscovery. These Overlooked Orbs  are not new revelations, but timeless truths briefly forgotten and then remembered all at once. CMOTY is where long-standing assets get reevaluated, old opinions quietly reversed, and the culture collectively slaps its own forehead and says, “Oh right.” This is where dormant admiration awakens, where old photos circulate like...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-comeback-milkers-of-the-year</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6972800daffc20191ac1c612</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:25:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_0303de76bb884ade91bef1b5216fb54d~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Vintage Milk Vessels Award]]></title><description><![CDATA[Vintage Milk Vessels Division Past Winners: Sarah Palin (2024), Martha Stewart  (2023) While Father Time does, indeed, remain undefeated, these women and their Paleolithic Era Pontoons  seem difficult for him to claim. The Vintage Milk Vessels Division exists to remind everyone that some women age gracefully, some age impressively, and then some seem to refuse to age regardless of their trips around the sun. These are no Granny Glands offering you a Werther's Original and fading quietly into...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-vintage-milk-vessels</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6972829baa29322cefc966ef</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:24:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_3a7274bb28d5483bac1639ee7014db42~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Mommy Milky Division ]]></title><description><![CDATA[The Mommy Milky Division Past Winners: Nancy Mace  ( 2023  and 2024 ), Lara Logan  (2022) Mommy Milkies are mammaries in their highest and most demanding form -functional, life-giving, and civilization-sustaining. Given their importance, it should come as no shock that the Mommy Milky Division is the flagship division of these awards. The MM conference is the SEC of the Milkersphere, where blue-chip prospects go to be stress-tested, where pretenders are exposed, and where champions are forged...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-mommy-milky</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69727399aa29322cefc93c4d</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:24:14 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_cbc7378748534e05bc978a7b319fa72d~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Breast in Show Champion]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE 2025 MILKERS OF THE YEAR BREAST IN SHOW CHAMPION Past Champions: Sydney Sweeney  (2024), Lauren Boebert  (2023), Lara Logan  (2022), Ghislaine Maxwell  (2021) Your 2025 Division Winners . . . The 2025 Milkers of the Year, Breast in Show Champion is . . . ***drumroll please*** (click and watch the video) WINNER: Sydney Sweeney's Pendulous Paragons of Patriotism are Flappr's 2025 Milkers of the Year! Yes, folks, in an outcome that should come as a surprise to literally no one, Sweeney has...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-breast-in-show-champion</link><guid isPermaLink="false">697286dbab08e1a85c340f6b</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:23:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_bcecca2e11104fd59405fe2ce84d0322~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee ]]></title><description><![CDATA[The IBTC President Past IBTC Presidents: Megyn Kelly (2024), Anna Paulina Luna  (2023), Tulsi Gabbard  (2022) An IBTC President is not defined not by volume, but by mentality -  hard-edged, unapologetic, and worn without concession. IBTs are no consolation prize or aesthetic compromise; they are miniature mission statements. The IBTC Presidency is where confidence outruns cup size, where presence matters more than padding, and where women with Pygmy Pokies refuse to be sidelined prove that...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/2025-ibtc-president</link><guid isPermaLink="false">697275799f5bcea2284fa7d5</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:22:26 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_49a0c3cd86d84baaa66ec94b775b5e23~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2025 Milkers Of The Year Awards ]]></title><description><![CDATA[JUMP TO SECTION | MOMMY MILKY DIVISION  | | ROOKIE OF THE YEAR  | IBTC DIVISION  | | CMOTY DIVISION  | MTAM DIVISION  | | BREAST IN SHOW (MILKERS OF THE YEAR)  | Folks, it’s that time of year again. Time for our annual Jubilee of Jugs , where we Marvel at the Mightiest of Melons , Tout the Titans of Titillation , Recognize Rod-Raising Royalty , and Crown the most Captivating of Cannons . It’s the 2025 Milkers of the Year Awards, and this year feels . . . different. In 2024, we celebrated the...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/best-milkers-2025</link><guid isPermaLink="false">695be8586b2f1f57b2874a63</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 17:20:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_64ce4d57fca44dbf900a9c5a6ef66f38~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Tastefully Slutty: Halloween for the New Golden Age]]></title><description><![CDATA[This week I spent an inordinate amount of time hunting social-media clips for the Spooktacular edition of Cloth Off Friday , and folks , , , I gotta tell you, women are dressing pretty slutty for Halloween these days. They're dressing too slutty in general, but Halloween seems particularly slutty right now. At this point, Halloween seems little more than the Ho-lympic Games. Let's take a look at an example: See what I mean? Those Monster-Mashing Mummy Milkers are ghoulishly glorious, but… I...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/slutty-halloween</link><guid isPermaLink="false">690527ec07f57e48208809ff</guid><pubDate>Fri, 31 Oct 2025 23:10:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_a71859fd62a54693bc06e0dfd7f7df2d~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[PRODUCT REVIEW: I bought the Sydney Sweeney body wash]]></title><description><![CDATA[This is the first (and perhaps only) time I will review any products for this blog, but after seeing Sydney Sweeney hock this body wash...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/sydney-sweeney-body-wash</link><guid isPermaLink="false">683884c8d569a830f8aafe89</guid><pubDate>Thu, 29 May 2025 16:03:16 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_1ae5e3fce2ff4a8aba3ef0ac77afba1d~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_589,h_332,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[S M &#38; U T For March 2025]]></title><description><![CDATA[It’s news. It’s sports. It’s commentary on weird shit from around the internet. It’s Serious Matters &#38; Unfolding Trends , our weekly...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/serious-matters-3-2025</link><guid isPermaLink="false">67c893b8704201787dbc44a5</guid><pubDate>Fri, 07 Mar 2025 12:00:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_e224f180091f469c80cbb1b127ee72cc~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[In Defense of Sydney Sweeney (Not Mid)]]></title><description><![CDATA[What follows is for the people who engaged in Sydney Sweeney slander that one day in December 2024 - the rest of you can just go read the...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/in-defense-of-sydney-sweeney</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6797f649055421dff53f6692</guid><pubDate>Tue, 04 Mar 2025 17:40:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_099f995b31854ec4b7368314f514ffc0~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Hooters Bankruptcy? A Fallen Empire]]></title><description><![CDATA[In the event you missed the news this morning, Bloomberg reported that Hooters, the iconic breast themed, chicken wing restaurant, is...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/hooters-bankruptcy-a-fallen-empire</link><guid isPermaLink="false">67b8acb174b6f5de6cb81b67</guid><pubDate>Fri, 21 Feb 2025 18:41:58 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_d21dd524dc1f4111ab0fe63628c893d6~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[How Abby Shapiro (and Porn) Saved My Marriage]]></title><description><![CDATA[That's what this blog supposed to be about, right? Abby Shapiro and porn. To be clear, I this is not about Abby Shapiro porn, which does...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/abby-shapiro-porn-saved-my-marriage</link><guid isPermaLink="false">67ae2059a5c9a3f9a88cfaba</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Feb 2025 12:00:17 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_0a333034c4ba47a3a9b09f6dc66efb7c~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Ivanka Trump Reminds World That She Exists and is Still Very, Very, Hot]]></title><description><![CDATA[In the first two-plus weeks of Trump 2.0, much has happened. Almost tooooo much has happened! It seems like every day some new, crazy,...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/ivanka-trump-bikini</link><guid isPermaLink="false">67a4fd50abc0fd2c4fd0e04f</guid><pubDate>Fri, 07 Feb 2025 12:00:08 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_eeb3d03d65ba4de08eea431670c97bc9~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Full Bush in a Bikini? A History Lesson on Pubic Grooming Standards]]></title><description><![CDATA[Is "bush" back? Well, according to the NY Post (part of the Murdoch Media Empire - renowned for publishing articles about women who...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/full-bush-in-a-bikini</link><guid isPermaLink="false">67980382055421dff53f8d58</guid><pubDate>Fri, 31 Jan 2025 12:00:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_5c98a2a583d54ad4b8ad15fcf546bd34~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The 2024 Milkers Of The Year Awards ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Folks, it's that time of year again. It's time for our annual Jubilee of Jugs, where we Honor the Heaviest of Honeydews, Celebrate the...]]></description><link>https://www.flappr.net/post/best-milkers-2024</link><guid isPermaLink="false">673ce74d30fe6585e47242f1</guid><pubDate>Fri, 17 Jan 2025 12:00:06 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/482ba6_cda681b10e6d4c3b8acb4ac451d10de4~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>bartleby</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>