This may come as a surprise to some of you, but here at Flappr we, every now and then. . . write about female human breasts. We never intend to write about boobs in an exploitative fashion - no, our brand of investigative journalism is more research based. We consider bosoms, we analyze bosoms, we celebrate bosoms.
In doing so, it became necessary to find ways to describe these dense dairy dumplings. We believed it to be gauche and uncouth to refer to mammaries as "boobies" or other similar, common, analogues.
No, no, that's not our style.
In furtherance of this effort, we looked for ways to capture the essence of how enamored we are with these essential elegant weasel-easels. Our solution? When possible, we come up with unique descriptors for each set of pillowy pleasure pontoons that grace the pages of our website. Sometimes the term are weight or girth related, like fair-sized feeders. Sometimes the term aligns to a subject's place of origin, like Copenhagen casabas. Sometimes, the term describes a characteristic about the person, like Leninist lactaters.
Well, over the three-plus years of running this website, we've come up with several alternative words for boobs, breasts and bosoms - enough terms for us to assemble this Glossary of Glands for your use and enjoyment.
Why say "look at those big tits" when you can say "look at those Bewitching Button-Busters?"
Some things are worth celebrating. Some things are worth the extra effort.
Without further ado, please enjoy Flappr's Manual of Mammary Related Metonyms.
Bantam Weight Buttercups
BFTs (Big Fake Tits)
Blouse Bunny Brett
Bodacious Bolt-Ons
Bodacious Shoulder Boulders of Boulder, Colorado
"AOC might be a midwitted Marxist, but she does have some legit Bolshevik Bazoombas"
Butterface-Bazongas
Certified-Organic-Sweater-Stretchers
Chitty-Titty Chin-Bangers
Dairy-Endowed Debutant
Dense Dairy Dumplings
Elder Earmuffs
Elizabethan Era Erector Perfectors
Essential Elegant Weasel-Easels
Evansville Eye-Gougers
"Paige was a proud patriotic woman who proudly showcased her Frolicking Funbags of Freedom"
Gorgeous Greenhorn Globes
Grade-A Nippopotamous
Grand Canyons
Hallowed Heavies in Hollywood
Heart Pounding Hindenburgs
Horse-Faced Howitzers
Humble Honeydew Headrests
Lauren's Large Luscious Liberty Bells
Lilliputian Lactoids
Lovely Lot of Luscious Legal Lactators
Mace's Mountain Dews
Machiavellian Milk Fountain Maneuver
"Nippopotamus Nancy worked with Democrats to unseat the Speaker of the House in a move that many have called the 'Machiavellian Milk Fountain Maneuver.'
Massive Montezuma Maracas
Milker'd-Marxist-Movie-Maven
Norse-Nippled-NumNums
Pendulous Paleolithic Pleasure Palloncinos
"Many people argue that Abby Shapiro should've won Flappr's 2021 Milker of the Year Award, but she was pregnant and her Curvaceous Conservative Cantaloupes were fueled with performance enhancing pregnancy hormones (or PEDoubleDs, if you will). So, that wouldn't have been fair."
Pygmy Peepers
RINO-Rod-Raisers
Sweater-Stretching Star of the Silver Screen
Switch-Hitting Super Mamio Sister
Tantalizing Tig Ol Bitties
"Sydney's Tantalizing Tig Ol' Bitties made her the talk of Tinsel Town and earned her honorable mention in Flappr's 2023 Milkers of the Year award!"
Titillating Tabernacles
Top-Heavy-Temptress
Tremendous Set of Tuscaloosa Torpedoes
Wondering Wizarding Watermelons