This may come as a surprise to some of you, but here at Flappr we, every now and then. . . write about female human breasts. We never intend to write about boobs in an exploitative fashion - no, our brand of investigative journalism is more research based. We consider bosoms, we analyze bosoms, we celebrate bosoms.
In doing so, it became necessary to find ways to describe these dense dairy dumplings. We believed it to be gauche and uncouth to refer to mammaries as "boobies" or other similar, common, analogues.
No, no, that's not our style.
In furtherance of this effort, we looked for ways to capture the essence of how enamored we are with these essential elegant weasel-easels. Our solution? When possible, we come up with unique descriptors for each set of pillowy pleasure pontoons that grace the pages of our website. Sometimes the term are weight or girth related, like fair-sized feeders. Sometimes the term aligns to a subject's place of origin, like Copenhagen casabas. Sometimes, the term describes a characteristic about the person, like Leninist lactaters.
Well, over the three-plus years of running this website, we've come up with several alternative words for boobs, breasts and bosoms - enough terms for us to assemble this Glossary of Glands for your use and enjoyment.
Why say "look at those big tits" when you can say "look at those Bewitching Button-Busters?"
Some things are worth celebrating. Some things are worth the extra effort.
Without further ado, please enjoy Flappr's Manual of Mammary Related Metonyms.
BFTs (Big Fake Tits)
"AOC might be a midwitted Marxist, but she does have some legit Bolshevik Bazoombas"
Dense Dairy Dumplings
Essential Elegant Weasel-Easels
"Paige was a proud patriotic woman who proudly showcased her Frolicking Funbags of Freedom"
"Trolls said Liz was 'too old' to post that photo on Instagram, but her Mammoth Mommy Milkers could not be contained!"
"Many people argue that Abby Shapiro should've won Flappr's 2021 Milker of the Year Award, but she was pregnant and her Curvaceous Conservative Cantaloupes were fueled with performance enhancing pregnancy hormones (or PEDoubleDs, if you will). So, that wouldn't have been fair."
"Donna's Tremendous Set of Tuscaloosa Torpedoes made her home state of Alabama proud!"