We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news! We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
Very Important News!
Given that this is the last edition of T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) before Halloween, I figured I needed to kick things off with something festive.
Spooky Spirit Raisers! Gorgeous Ghoulish Glands! Bewitching Boos!
But if I'm being honest, I still prefer slutty nurse, slutty cop, slutty teacher, slutty maid, slutty pirate or slutty Ninja Turtle over the titty ghost costume. It's just a little too much, you know? Part of what makes the slutty Halloween costume fun is that they are suggestive, without necessarily being . . . well, literally naked.
So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that the titty ghost is, actually, a little too slutty for a slutty costume. Look at me, I'm maturing in my elder millennial years.
See? This is how you pull off slutty for Halloween. She's the perfect 'slutty demon' or something! She's showing skin, but her bodacious bolt-ons are firmly secured within her brassiere! That's entirely appropriate, while being suggestive and fun!
Once again, Donna D'Errico shows us the way. Is there anything this Dairy-Endowed Debutant from Dolton, Alabama can't do? America thanks you, Donna!
Not to brag, but I've gotten a woman pregnant before (had sex) and have been in delivery rooms on more than one occasion (a.k.a. had sex multiple times).
The thought of this woman doing a maternity photo shoot, from her hospital room, hours before going into labor, seems crazy to me! I know what she was about to go through! It's the most beautiful experience known to mankind!
But . . . birthing a baby is very fucking gory and gross too.
Lots of . . . stuff . . . comes out of a woman (her vagina) during labor and buddy, let me tell ya, it ain't for the faint of heart. So, to think that a woman would take decide to take some glamour shots in THAT room is, again, pretty fucking weird. I mean, she had the photographer stage the room?! The nurses must have thought she was an all-time biggest asshole for pulling this stunt. A real rich-bitch move.
She did look very pretty in her pictures, though! The pregnancy glow and all that! Ken Bone Beautiful Human Submarine Approved!
I like this video. Not ONLY because she pops an unexpected nipple out on the dance floor (which is blurred, since we're not a smut blog), but because this blushing bride shows us how to perfectly handle public humiliation.
Your tiddy pops on your wedding day? You just roll with it! If you laugh along with everyone else, you own the moment. If you let everyone else know it's no big deal, then they're less likely to make a big deal about seeing your tiddy. Some people might even forget it even happened (probably not the men).
It's a wholesome video, capped off by the look on the husband's face right after he realizes that tiddy just popped out:
That's the face of a dude (Carlos Boozer doppelgänger) who knows that those tiddies are HIS tiddies for the rest of his life. Or until they divorce. Or until they start an OnlyFans and she starts filming sex scenes with other men. Listen, people are fucking weird these days - all of these things are possible.
Anyways . . . weddings are fun, aren't they folks?!?
Are we going to pretend like this woman's 'bod' is representative of 'mom bod'? Sure, she's a little wide in the hips - but I have a feeling that a lot of moms would gladly trade places with a woman with a huge pendulous breasts, perfect skin and a pretty flat stomach.
This isn't 'mom bod', this is 'attractive, normal, woman who cannot afford a personal trainer, bod'. And that's a good thing! I don't know, maybe that's the same thing as 'mom bod'. She's a MILF, that's the point! I'll stop talking now.
As an asside (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes), how would you rate her bum, Al Pacino from Heat?
Oof, this is the second consecutive week that I'm gonna have to disagree, Al Pacino from Heat. Sorry, I cannot co-sign your seal of approval. She's very pretty, but I'm not super fond of the Kardashian look myself.
Oh well, to each their own.
Less Important News
Pray for the families in Maine.
Do not name the killer. Do not give him the infamy he desires. Pray for the families in Maine. Everything is bad. We're a sick society. We need help.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Best Wrench Wench And Gun Bunny Too? and Remembering St. Crispin’s Day
The one in which Robert Stacey McCain shares with you the story of the Saint Crispin's Day, a Christian feast day for two martyred Christian saints. Or, if you're a fan of Shakespeare, St. Crispin's Day was the setting for Henry V's rousing speech prior to the Battle of Agincourt.
From the article:
By 1420, Henry had triumphed and wed Catherine, youngest daughter of the French king, with a guarantee that their son would inherit the French crown. That would not have been possible, however, had the French defeated Henry at Agincourt, where his army fought heroically against overwhelming numerical odds.
WESTMORLAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day!
Happy St. Crispin Day to all who celebrate!
Animal Magnetism: Animal's Daily Death of Delusion News
The one in which Animal shares his thoughts on Konstantin Kisin's story titled 'The Day the Delusions Died' and his doubts that people will learn anything from this eye opening experience.
David Thompson: The Genitals Of Tomorrow
The one in which David details the hopes and dreams of sociopathic degenerates for inventing new, designer, sex organs. . .
From the article:
"When not offering his expertise to prostitutes and “unicorns,” and devotees of polyamory and nipple clamps, Mr Jacobs shares his feverish visions with those less enlightened:
Will technology give us options that are artistic and creative? Do we have to stick to penis and vagina norms? Can we have genitalia that look like flowers? Or abstract sculpture?
Everything is bad. We're a sick society. We need help.
Important News, BUT Sports
TNF: the Bills beat the Bucs; stopped the bleeding, still look *meh*
The Bills were *this close* to losing a heartbreaker last night. Their defense is beat up. They haven't really looked like a Super Bowl contender since Josh Allen injured his elbow last year. Josh Allen still looks awesome, but the offense still struggles to consistently put up points.
Sean McDermott is on the hot seat. The Bills need to make the Super Bowl this year. The remainder of this season is going to be an interesting one in Buffalo.
The Bears: are so fucking back, baby.
Tyson Bagent, an undrafted rookie from a Division II school called 'Shepherd University', ran the offense flawlessly and the Bears hammered the Raiders 30-12.
WHO COULD'VE PREDICTED TYSON BAGENT'S ASCENDENCY?
Look, do I think Tyson Bagent is going to be the next Tom Brady? No, I do not. In reality, thus far, Bagent appears to have some physical limitations to his game - he doesn't seem to have 'elite' arm talent.
More than anything, what Sunday's performance SHOULD illustrate for Bears' fans is how the offense COULD look when run by a quarterback playing quarterback.
Bagent threw on time. Bagent threw with anticipation. Bagent took what the defense gave him. Bagent did not take sacks. You get the idea.
Sometimes, the little things really do make all the difference. Just play within the system as it was designed and good things happen!
The Bears are 8.5 point underdogs this week against the Chargers in LA. They will probably lose by 5, but until they do . . .
. . . I'm going to allow myself to dream a little and enjoy the warmth from Tyson Bagent's competent quarterback performance last week.
Tyson Bagent's Dad: is a 17-time World Champion Arm Wrestler
Yes, the blog is a tad Bagent-heavy this week, but fuck you, I run this show and I'm just going to enjoy this brief moment of Bears fun.
If you choose to watch the video I've shared above (you should, it's electric) you should come away with the understanding that Travis Bagent is the type of guy who would probably laugh hysterically as he pummels you in a parking lot.
Very intimidating! He would probably not be fun to coach against in little league!
Jerry Thornton / Barstool Sports: Congratulations to Women for Finally Breaking the Professional Power Slap Glass Ceiling
Ladies slapping the living shit out of each other! So that's a thing! How about that?! I feel honored to have witnessed the first knockout!
Though to be honest, when it comes to women slapping each other for sport, I much prefer the World Ass Slapping Championship.
Wait . . . there was a 'Most Beautiful Soccer Player' debate? Who is involved in this debate? Who are the debaters? Who is the governing body for this prestigious moniker? Who makes the final decision and bestows the title?
Oh, and why do I never get invited to such debates? I mean, I don't watch soccer (I hate it with a passion), but I think I am more than qualified to adjudicate the 'World's Most Beautiful Soccer Player'. I do this every week. I am a fucking expert!
I don't know any female soccer players, but I'll tell you this - I bet I can find one sexier than the self-proclaimed title holder, Ana Maria Markovic. She's pretty, of course, but that make up is a little too "woman of the night" for my taste.
Maybe I should do some research and start handing out my own 'Most Beautiful' titles. It might be the only way to fix this broken system.
First off, holy shit, right? Kayla Simmons is genuinely beautiful and worthy of all of the tongue wagging done in her honor on blogs all over the internet.
Here's the thing though, this video wasn't picked up by all the usual suspects. I found this on The Sun, not on Outkick, Barstool, or Black Sports Online. That was pretty shocking to me.
After doing this blog for a year, I have begun to see how the market of sexy influencer thirst traps operate (e.g. the DDMTE). Basically, whenever a Top-Tier, Top-Heavy-Temptress like Kayla posts something to her socials, nearly every website within a certain genre picks it up and writes a blog about her thirst post. You'll have 10 websites (like Outkick and BSO) write the different versions of the same blog, excitedly sharing the latest "Sexy Kayla Simmons" post to Instagram.
It makes sense, it's perfect clickbait material! But this time? Nothing! I could only find a story about this post on The Sun. Go figure. The boys over at BSO must be slacking this week.
Speaking of. . .
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (journalism purposes):
BSO Headline Literalness Rating: lololol, yup, that's Rachel Stuhlmann, showing off massive 'mid boob' in a wild dress. This was a very literal BSO headline!
You know, you don't see a lot of 'mid boob' out in the wild. Cleavage? Sure that's lindy and dates back as far as time itself. Side boob? Yes, that does seem to be trendy among Tik Tok THOTs. But 'mid boob'? Now THAT'S innovation.
Also, credit to BSO for correctly identifying Rachel Stuhlmann as a 'Tennis Influencer' rather than 'The Paige Spiranac of Tennis'. Saved me 30 minutes of writing about how that would not have been appropriate.
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