Today is Friday and Rome is burning while our nominal, demented, leader openly creeps out audiences with his predilection for young girls, struggles to put together a coherent thought and tanks the stock market.
But if you're looking for more doom and gloom, you can go read WaPo, an outlet that employs Glenn Kessler, an alleged fact checker who recently went out of his way to defend Stacey Abrams' claim that fetal heartbeat sounds, captured on ultrasound machines, are a conspiracy manufactured by men "to take control of a woman's body."
What a fucking loser.
No, here at Flappr, we're intent on covering stories that uplift, stories that inspire, and stories that YOU care about. . . so today we're talking 'bout some smoke-show MILF who was shunned by her church after posting her Mormon Milkers on OnlyFans.
According to the DailyMail, Holly, a 39-year old mother of four, makes $45,000 a month by exposing her Titillating Tabernacles to horny religious dudes who subscribe to her on OnlyFans. In fact, Holly says she has "20 dedicated regulars" whom she talks to every day — many of whom are conservative believers.
Apparently, Holly is a widow, who lost her husband a few years back and picked up this hobby when she realized it could help pay her bills. As is often the case, someone in her church "discovered" her profile and snitched her out to the Archbishop.
The church gave her an option - stop posting your Latter-Day Lactaters on OnlyFans or leave the church. Holly is choosing the latter.
Now, Flappr is firmly against MILF-shaming. We even started a fake 501(c)(3) dedicated to the rehabilitation and support of bullied MILFs.
And make no mistake - Holly is a certifiable MILF. Her Blaspheming Bazookas are so glorious that if a failed farmer should come upon them, he might consider them a message from God. These Protestant Pontoons are so Milktastic, they might cause such a man to experience messianic visions, write a book, and found a restorationist sect of Christianity (that also just so happened embraced polygamy) in their honor.
And yet . . . we do not have a problem with what the Mormon church is doing here.
No, seriously, don't look so shocked. . . we're not (despite what you might think) complete degenerates.
Look, The Church of Latter-Day Saints is a community with pretty strict rules against porn and sexual promiscuity. Holly is not entitled to membership with the Church and the community should not bend its own governing principles to accommodate one person. Yes, even a Mormon MILF have to play by the rules.
So, as long as the church is not going out of their way to punish her children, we rate this as . . . appropriate?
You can follow Holly on Instagram, where she sheds her Temple Garments and posts MILF-positive content like this:
You can also subscribe to her OnlyFans (which we won't link to here) if you're a sad, lonely, man with incredibly low self-worth. Or, save your money, work on yourself, find a human female companion, marry her, bed her and start a family.
I recommend the latter.
One more thought. . .
The tragic killing of Cayler Ellingson is absolutely maddening. If you're not familiar with how Cayler Ellingson was killed, that's not an accident - the media is actively trying to avoid reporting on how a man in North Dakota used his car to run down an 18-year-old boy he claimed was a "Republican Extremist".
Not that it matters, but according to the North Dakota Highway Patrol, there is no evidence that Ellingson was a "Republican Extremist".
No, what does matter here is that a young man is dead and the man responsible openly admits to killing him over a "political argument."
What matters here is that the regime constantly insists that "Dark MAGA Republicans" are literal threats to democracy and yet we see no actual threats manifest.
What matters here is that the regime media is intentionally avoiding a story of admitted politically motivated violence. Don't believe me? Search "Cayler Ellingson" on the New York Times website. You won't find anything on the killing. Same goes for NBCNews, Politico and the Huffington Post. WaPo and USA Today republished the wire story written by the Associated Press.
You get the idea. This one is a narrative buster. Republicans are supposed to be the violent types.
Fuck these people. Fuck the scumbag who killed this young man. Pray for Cayler and his family.
You can donate to a GoFundMe in Cayler's honor by clicking here.
Happy Friday. Cloth Off. God Bless America.