We've curated our weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news!
We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
Very Important News!
Announcement: It's March, so we're going with redhead-themed cover art this month to celebrate smoking-hot members of Haplogroup R1b (the Celts).
You're welcome, gingers.
I have not followed Selena's career and can't name any of her songs off the top of my head (but I'm sure I'd know many of them if I heard them), so I can't say that she looks demonstrably thiccer than she has in the past . . . but I dunno, she looks pretty damn good in this more shapely form.
I mean, she's on the pantheon of the most prolific pokies in the world right now. I'm guessing she wasn't holstering these types of holy heavies on her smaller frame. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that she carries this body type well. She looks healthy, happy, and still incredibly attractive. So, maybe this was a net positive? Maybe the dudes on Twitter who are ragging on her are just wrong?
Anyway, I'm a fan, even if I don't know anything about her music or acting career. Speaking of, she just released a new music video. Let's have a listen.
Well . . . that was something.
Moving on.
Oh, Donna . . . it's been a while. The era of the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy has long since passed for this blog . . . but we do get excited whenever your name comes across our feed. We cannot quit you. You're our Daring, Dairy-Endowed, Debutant from Dolton, Alabama and we will always stand beside you in your battles against the haters and losers online (of which there are many!).
So, what is Donna up to this time? Well, , , it appears that trolls are reporting her 'sexy Instagram photos' and causing them to be deleted by Instagram's automated content moderation algorithms.
Donna says this behavior 'it's not nice' to report 'perfectly fine photos and videos' and get someone's account 'flagged and posts to get removed'. And she's right, it's not nice and those photos and videos of her were perfectly fine. Those posts (which I have provided you above in GIF form, for journalistic purposes) barely rate on the inappropriate scale for Instagram. I should know - I have to scour that disgusting app for content for Cloth Off Friday and this blog (journalistic purposes).
There is a lot of really inappropriate shit on that app. Women have begun posting topless videos, pretending to breastfeed fake babies (NSFW link) in a scheme that exploits a loophole in Instagram's no-nudity policy that allows nursing women to post bare breasts for nursing posts. Other women have found ways to expose even naughtier things on that app (hint: it rhymes with vagina).
My point here is that Donna isn't doing anything nearly as bad as what's readily available on Instagram. She's being persecuted by Karens who are reporting her mildly spicy, MILFy thirst traps, making her a massively milker'd modern martyr.
Also, don't give your kids smartphones, and certainly don't let them have access to social media. I'm trying my best to follow these rules in my house. I know I wouldn't have them on my phone if it weren't for my journalistic responsibilities. But these are the sacrifices I must make to keep you abreast of the news.
Credit to me.
Having 100 orgasms a day seems like part of an obscene 'would you rather' hypothetical. Like, 'Would you rather have 100 orgasms a day, every day for a year, or be limited to only 1 orgasm a year?'
That's a good question, actually . . . I think I'd have to go with only 1 per year here - as having 100 orgasms a day feels like a legitimate disability. Like, how would you be able to hold down any type of job if you're busting a nut 4 times every hour? Based on personal experience, I would need 4 short naps just to get me through a single work call. That doesn't seem sustainable.
She is a gym influencer, though, so maybe she's talking about 'orgasming' in the same way Arnold Schwarzenegger talked about 'cumming' in the 1977 docudrama Pumping Iron, where he said:
Actually, no, upon further inspection, this woman is having literal, rather than metaphorical, orgasms all day. According to the article, this two-time Miss BumBum award winner says that she suffers from 'spontaneous climax disorder', a condition that causes unwanted sensations of arousal in your genitals. This is a thing that actually exists! I looked it up! It sounds terrible, they don't know what causes it and there is no known cure. I feel really bad for her.
Not sure how to end this section. I guess we did learn something new here, so that's a good thing, right? Yeesh.
So this story is, more likely than not, a fabrication made for TikTok engagement - but, the subjects haven't been tremendous, intriguing, or topical this week, so . . . we'll accept evidence as fact for discussion purposes.
According to her recounting of the date, she matched with a guy on Tinder, they agreed to meet for coffee 'by the beach', they 'went for a bit of a walk', then 'went to a cafe' and things 'were going really well' until the bloke 'supposedly staring at her chest the whole time.' Things then got heated when this OF Starlett, who is toooootally not making this up to promote her work, says she called him out for staring at her breasts and he replied 'I don’t understand why you women don’t have the decency to wear a bra when you are out in public and go to a cafe like it’s not okay that people can see your nipples'.
Now, that's not a very nice way to talk to a lady, but that's not to say that his underlying premise was incorrect. To me, the answer depends on circumstances not in evidence here.
Was she wearing a sundress? If so, then her bra straps would show and I could see why she would avoid wearing one. No foul there.
Was she wearing a blouse made of thick material? If so, she could have believed that her nipples would not become visible upon stimulation. An honest mistake.
Was she wearing the thin, lavender-colored, fairly sheer, nylon tank from the video? If so, then she kind of had to suspect that she might be the mayor of Pokietown in the event a cool breeze passed through the beachside cafe they were meeting up at. To me, that's a step beyond socially acceptable.
I don't blame the 'bloke' for being a bit uncomfortable. If you're sitting across from someone, let alone an attractive, large-breasted woman, and their nipples are visibly attempting to escape their textile imprisonment . . . it's hard not to look. Our eyes are drawn to the unfamiliar. This is probably why bras were invented. To keep men from staring at nips all day. Corsets - the hard-nipple-covering ancestor to the modern brassiere - became fully integrated into Western society during the mid-to-late 1700s. Do you know what else happened during that period? The Industrial Revolution. So, yeah, once men were deprived of staring at hard, supple, nips all day, they got to work and invented steam engines, and the steel plow and learned how to harness electricity. How about that?
I'm almost certain that all of these things are unrelated, but you do have to be somewhat impressed that I connected a story about a woman's nipples on TikTok to the invention of the lightbulb and the spinning jenny. What a ride that was.
Final Fantasy VII came out back in 1997 on the original PlayStation and was pretty damn amazing for its time. The game was played on 4 separate CDs! It had these film-style cutscenes that I had never seen before! The art design was cool and dark. There were moments so memorable that if you say "that Aerith scene", millions of gamers will instantly know what you mean. The game sold over 14 million copies in the 27 years since its release. It was a cultural phenomenon.
I fucking loved that game. It was one of the first games I played with my brother from beginning to end. We tried to find every summon, breed every chocobo, and beat every secret boss (never did beat that Ruby Weapon). We loved the story and the characters. Cloud was the coolest protagonist we had ever seen fleshed out in a game before. Sephiroth was a genre-defining villain.
Looking back, though, the plot of FF7 was pretty . . . Japanese. The elements there are all good, but by the end of the game, you find out that Aerith was like the last living member of some ancient race or something. You learn that Sephiroth was born by some crazy Asian professor getting a woman pregnant and then injected her with the cells of some space alien thing called 'Jenova'. Cloud is Cloud, but he was pretending to be Zack, but he didn't know how was pretending to be Zack because he was exposed to Mako, which is like the planet's life force or something. There's a talking lion. None of it made sense, but the vibes and gameplay were so good that it didn't matter.
Oh, and there was this other character, Tifa, who punched people and had comically huge boobs, but somehow not quite as comically huge as those attached to the woman cosplaying her in the images above. Tifa's Polygonal Pleasure Pontoons were likely many young lads first foray into the female form (not me, though), so she kind of holds a special place in the pantheon of video game characters of the time.
Apparently, the developers at Square Enix have reintroduced Tifa's massive digital assets in the remake of FF7, which was released yesterday.
So there's that. Fascinating stuff. I'm just going to stop now.
This has been another episode of 'Gaming Memories with Bart'.
Important News!
A legacy of historic wins and tragic compromises. A legacy of steely-eyed, calculated, maneuvering. The quintessential technocrat. A complicated legacy, but an overall net benefit to the conservative movement.
That's the best way I can describe my feelings on McConnell's senate leadership.
I know that for many of you, McConnell has become the face of everything wrong with the GOP, but I think it would be a mistake to ignore the man's whole record. Before you hated him, you loved him for what he did when engineering what could
end up being a generational shift on the Supreme Court. Before you hated him, you loved him for being the roadblock for most of what Nancy Pelosi tried getting passed during the Obama administration. Before you hated him, he helped pull the GOP out from the ash heap of 2009 (60 Dem seats) back to the majority by 2017.
All that being said, it was time for Mitch to step aside. He's 82, his health seems to be declining and his fire for battle seems to have faded. The deals he's been making for the past three years have been bad for conservatives. His inability to work with Trump (like it or not, the leader of the party) has led to ugly outcomes. It's time to pass the baton, but to whom? I see no logical successor on the board right now.
Whoever does fill Cocaine Mitch's shoes will learn the meaning of the phrase 'heavy lies the crown'. He may not have been perfect, but he was effective.
Adam Rubenstein: I was a Heretic at the New York Times
Adam Rubenstein was a junior editor on Tom Cotton's NYT op-ed Send in the Troops, in which Cotton suggested that President Trump should've used the National Guard to quell the violent George Floyd/BLM riots of 2020. Because the NYT is run by and staffed full of activist libtards, they said Cotton's op-ed was a literal physical threat to the health of their black employees of the newspaper and got Adam (and others) for literally doing the job they were hired to perform.
I'm not going to Adam's whole article, but it adds to what Adam's old boss, James Benet (who was also fired), wrote last year about the episode and I genuinely hope you go and give it a read. Basically, Adam confirms everything you've ever expected about the people who work at the NYT, here's the opening passage:
I'd say that this reads like an SNL parody of a liberal newsroom, but SNL hasn't produced any satire this good for the last 20 years.
Poor, Adam, dude never stood a chance.
A communist: self-immolated to show his support of Palestinians.
I'm not going to share the video (because of self-immolation, ya know?), but I do want to talk about how fucked up we must be for a guy to light himself on fire in support of a (terrorist) group fighting a war (that they started) over 6,700 miles away. This war in no way affected this man's life and yet, for ideological reasons, he decided to FUCKING LIGHT HIMSELF ON FIRE and KILL HIMSELF to show support for the Palestinian cause.
To help illustrate this point, I've prepared a map that shows how the United States, where this man lived, is nowhere near Israel, where the war is taking place, and where he was trying to affect an outcome. Please see below:
We are a sick society. We are a society that has so few ACTUAL problems, that we've driven ourselves to the point of SELF-IMMOLATION in search of meaning. There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man and the troubled peoples of Western societies are filling it with the worst things possible (secular, anti-humanist, Marxism). This is the tragedy of our times.
On one hand, I am very sad for this man and the loss of human potential. On the other hand, one less communist is roaming the streets and he may inspire others to follow suit, so . . . net good?
Ok, that was mean and contrary to what I said above about God-shaped vacuums and all that . . . but you laughed, didn't you?
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Country Girls; Trump Stomps Haley in S.C.; and Anti-Israel Protester Does What Every Anti-Israel Protester Should Do (Is #SelfImmolateForPalestine Trending?)
The one in which Robert Stacey McCain does the joke I made above, only better:
"But the main thing is, how can we encourage the whole kook-mob of lefties to emulate the late <libtard>? Like, wouldn’t it be great if the entire student body of Harvard University just decided to light themselves on fire, en masse, in support of Hamas? So we need to get the hashtag #SelfImmolateForPalestine to go viral, and make it happen.”
Given how sick young people are these days, the situation contemplated above is not out of the realm of possibility. I've always said that our greatest hope for victory in the battle for the soul of this nation is that someday, in the not-too-distant future, conservatives will simply outnumber progressives. While the people of the Right are still having children their communist counterparts are either choosing to forgo their biological imperative or self-sterilizing via their new barbaric rituals. Suppose we need to add 'self-immolating' to that list now.
David Thompson: Fake Tears And Hissing
The one in which David shares word from the social work department of Wilfrid Laurier University, and its black dean who went head to head with the indigenous faculty members in a battle of the oppressed. In sum, it appears that the Indigenous field of study (IFS) faculty did not want to attend an in-person retreat and this pissed off the black dead (Hogarth), leading them to be very pissy and call each other racist:
"Prior to the retreat, Hogarth had asked the Indigenous faculty elders to give a land acknowledgment on the day of the retreat, but the elders felt her request was “performative” and they refused. Hogarth ended up delivering the land acknowledgment and then asked someone from the IFS to comment on the significance of land acknowledgments.
“This is not what we agreed on. Why are you asking us this? This is not our responsibility,” an IFS team member replied.
Hogarth later recounted in a report that the faculty were “rowdy” during the retreat, interrupting her and challenging her decisions, and that they wrote phrases like “less colonialism” and “less bullshit” on the end-of-day feedback notes. Hogarth interpreted this as “implicit racism.”
Oh man, this is funny. You really do need to go read the whole thing over at David's blog. Seriously, go do that.
Important Sports News
Patrick Kane: returned to Chicago and put on a show
A meaningless February game between the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings was the best Chicago sports moment of the past few years. That's a commentary on how special Patrick Kane's return to Chicago was and how shitty the past few years have been for Chicago's sports teams.
This game had everything. It was Chris Chelios' jersey retirement night and the United Center was packed with hockey legends - Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, and Eddie Belfour (among others) showed up to celebrate #7 going up in the rafters. Chelios delivered an amazing speech and when he brought up Patrick Kane, calling him the 'greatest American-born hockey player' Gretzky gave him a standing ovation. Very cool shit.
This was all before the puck dropped.
Then came the video tribute to Kaner, during the first TV intermission. The standing ovation he received lasted so long that he had to take three trips of gratitude for the crowd.
This shit hit me hard. Go read what I wrote last week about Patrick Kane's importance to the Blackhawks organization to understand why.
But, the Blackhawks (who suck ), played pretty well! They kind of controlled the game! Connor Bedard scored a goal and even threw a little body check into Kaner!
What a little shit!
But the Blackhawks do suck, so it was inevitable that the 2-1 lead they held with less than 5 minutes left would not hold. They gave up the tying score to former Blackhawk, Alex Debrincat, and the game went to OT . . . where this happened:
Every person watching in the stadium and at home knew what was going to happen when #88 took that puck in on a breakaway. We'd seen it happen countless times before. Kane eased up on the gas, waited for the goalie to lose patience and blink first, and then ripped a wrist shot over his glove.
It was poetic. It was perfect. It was showtime.
I was genuinely rooting for the Red Wings to beat the Blackhawks and I didn't feel an ounce of shame. Just a truly special sports moment, that I'll never forget.
Cindy Crawford: aced shoot the puck at the United Center; is still very hot at age 58
Listen, I told you m*therf*ckers that this game had everything!
Yes, Patrick Kane's return to the UC, in addition to being Cheli's jersey retirement, also included sexy-ass, Illinois native, Cindy Crawford, sniping the five-hole during the 'shoot the puck' contest during intermissions.
Just look at this broad, wearing form-fitting jeans and 4-inch high-heel boots, looking like an absolute SNACK at age 58 and sinking a 57-footer in the middle of a crowded stadium. That's sexy as fuck.
What a legend.
Shohei Ohtani: hit a dinger in his first Spring Training game as a Dodger
Yah, yah, yah, we get it. He's good.
He's a 2-time MVP. He finished 4th in Cy Young voting two years ago. He led MLB in HRs, OBP, and SLG last year. He's Japanese Babe Ruth. He signed a 700-million-dollar contract this offseason.
Wonderful. Good for him. But can he even get any bitches? I've never seen him with any! No SSO to speak of! So maybe Shohei is actually Shoga---
**Someone begins talking off-screen**
What's that? He just announced that he's married? To a woman? He just randomly announced that on his Instagram account? Well then, never mind.
Congratulations to Shohei and his wife.
Barstool Sports: Tyreek Hill is Getting Sued by a Plus-Size Influencer Alleging He Broke Her Leg During Football Drills After She was 'Holding Her Own' Against Him
From the article:
"Think about the body-positivity message that sends to her followers about what large, Rubenesque women are capable of. The best defensive backs in the NFL can't keep up with The Cheetah. But Sophie - who by her own admission knows nothing about American football - got her curvy frame up out of her stance and showed the quick burst and sudden acceleration to chase down the fastest player in the league and put him on his butt. That's an incredible achievement.
Now, my sainted mom raised me to be too much of a gentleman to inquire about a lady's weight. But since it's her occupation and she had posted it on her own site to inspire others, Hall has listed herself at much as 270 lbs "before surgery" and as low as 200 after. We don't know where she was at when she sacked Hill, but since he's listed at 191, that is truly a remarkable achievement. So let her example prove to everyone what Big, Beautiful Women are capable of."
This is a genuinely wild story. Genuinely wild stories seem to follow Tyreek Hill like a cornerback in man-to-man coverage. The dude just lives by a different code. Still, I don't think anyone could've imagined a headline about how he broke a plus-sized model's leg after 'holding her own' in football drills against him.
Why would he even be doing drills with some plus-sized model from Instagram? Because Tyreek Hill, that's why. You literally can't make this stuff up. I am going to try, though. Here are 3 untrue, future Tyreek Hill headline predictions that I just made up:
"Tyreek Hill sued by chef after allegedly barging into restaurant kitchen, putting more salt in pasta sauce and screaming 'this sh*t bland!'"
"Dolphins WR banned from local dog park after allegedly telling another owner to let his dog finish having sexual intercourse with her pup and saying 'Haven't y'all ever seen Lady and the Tramp?' These m*therf*ckers in love!'"
"NFL star WR settles paternity suit with one of FOUR baby mamas who wanted a piece of his $30m salary"
Oh wait, that last one was real . . . and was just published on Wednesday. I'm telling you, that dude is just built differently.
Paige Spiranac: no context necessary
Paige tweeted this out on Wednesday and I feel like I would be committing journalistic malpractice if I didn't add it to this week's blog.
I mean, wow . . . what a woman.
This photo is tremendous, intriguing, and topical. Literally puts the T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) in Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects.
I hate this. I hate seeing a supportive significant other (SSO) break up with the man she once so supported. After dating off and on for 10 years, no less!
According to the article, Brittany unfollowed Josh on Instagram last year, setting off alarm bells for those invested in SSO relations. Shortly thereafter, Josh was spotted canoodling with actress Hailee Steinfeld. Josh and Hailee recently confirmed that they're in a 'serious relationship.'
Yes, Hailee is very attractive. Yes, Hailee is a talented, Academy Award-nominated, actress. This is known, but what's not known is whether or not Hailee is an SSO. The publicly available evidence does not appear favorable to Hailee's SSO credentials. After reviewing Ms. Steinfeld's social media account, I was unable to find a single post that featured her in Buffalo Bills gear, let alone any posted photos of her in a Josh Allen customized, spandex catsuit (aka the 'Jake Browning's Hot SSO GF Standard'). You know what I did find? A lot of glamour shots of Hailee, promoting herself, some brands, and her career.
There is still time for Hailee to turn things around and attain SSO status, but it will have to start with less 'for me behavior' and more 'for he behavior'. We will be watching and rooting for Hailee to support Josh. We do, however, worry that Mr. Allen might have made a tragic error.
Outkick: Jay Cutler's Ex-Wife, Kristin Cavallari, Is Now Dating A 24-Year-Old Montana Tech Wide Receiver
A week after we published begrudging praise of Kristin, this news comes out. This is why Flappr is a Team Cutty blog. Jay would never lower himself to dating a 24-year-old college student. Especially one who plays from Montana Tech! That's not even NCAA football! Where are your standards, woman?
No, Cutty is dating a smokeshow MILF, with two kids and stability. Because he's a man of honor and taste. Thankfully, in typical Jay Cutler fashion, he does not seem to be bothered by Kristin's latest tryst.
We will be bothered on his behalf, though. For shame, K-Cav. She should be dating a more mature man of accomplishment, like Colt McCoy or something. Think of the children, dammit!
Black Sports Online: Sports Host Joy Taylor Flaunts Her Curves And Body After Jetting Off To Costa Rica To Cool Off
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):
Yes, that does appear to be 'sports host' Joy Taylor, who does appear to be 'flaunting her curves and body' and the photos featured above are from Ms. Taylor's social media account and are geo-tagged from Costa Rica.
This is a very literal BSO headline and wow, Joy Taylor is one of the biggest hidden secrets in sports media today. Stunningly beautiful woman.
Very Important Meme of the Week
This week's winner comes from none other than @MidnightMitch for this Revenge of the Sith (apropos?) inspired self-immolation meme. @MidnightMitch was on fire this week (pun), pumping out meme after meme and attracting likes and RTs like moths to a flame (pun). This meme was not even my favorite @MidnightMitch meme this week, he had posted a video that included Scorpion from Mortal Kombat setting the dude ablaze using his patented Fatality move, but Twitter got angry, suspended Mitch and I think he had to delete it.
Here's a screenshot:
What a week for @MidnightMitch, who also takes home the top honor in meme artistry (not true) - Flappr's meme of the week.
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