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Writer's picturebartleby

Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects - 09.08.23

We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news! We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!

 

Very Important News!


You have to be impressed how one woman can generate so much content for so many outlets just by attending a Tennis Match.


By my count, there were (at least) 25 blogs written about Paige Spiranac attending the 2023 US Open and looking incredibly hot.


Awe inspiring. She's truly in a class of her own.


Raquel Welch: still dead, unfortunately, but would've turned 83 this week.

Raquel was an absolute Milker Legend and deserving of her spot on the pantheon of prolific pokies. She should be remembered and celebrated for her tremendously intriguing career.


RIP Ms. Welch.


A Dairy-endowed DJ with Multi-Tasking Milkers? Sure this is kind of weird, unnecessary (breast pumps exist) and might embarrass her kid when she's old enough to google her mom. . . but, you gotta admit. . . this is super impressive!


Moms are just the best (except for when they're the worst).


The crazy 'bedroom habit' at issue in this story is that this woman and her husband alternate the sides of the bed they sleep on (i.e., they don't have assigned 'sides of the bed').


After all of the fucked up shit I've written about while preparing T.I.T.S. every week, it's nice to see a click bait headline didn't lead to sexual degeneracy. A breath of fresh air for me, if you will.


Who doesn't have assigned sides of the bed though? I'll tell you who - sick Marxist freaks who don't believe in personal property ownership or monogamy and participate in orgies and other forms of cuckery. Imagine the debauchery that must take place in that no rules apply bedroom.


Absolutely disgusting!


This woman is incredibly attractive. Very nice BFTs! Astounding-Aussie-Airbags!


Apparently, this MILF and her husband run her OnlyFans together. If I'm grading on the degenerate scale - it appears that the husband is just filming his wife mowing the lawn in a bikini and it doesn't appear that the husband is filming other men rail his wife. So, comparatively speaking, this appears. . . kind of wholesome?


Grading on the regular person scale - they have kids and this is something I'd never do with my wife in a million years (regardless of the monetary prospects).


Basically, this is most wholesomely gross way you could run an OnlyFans. Chances are, though, this will end up with the husband filming his wife getting railed by other dudes (if he hasn't already).


Basically part two: Fellas, , , , Ladies, , , , don't violate the sanctity of your marriage for any reason, ever.


Despite what you might think, I consider myself to be fairly conservative about dressing like a THOT in public and especially around children.


That being said, I don't think her dress is all that inappropriate for a high school prom? I mean, maybe it's a little tight? Maybe it shows a little too much leg? But, generally, I think it's probably at worst borderline?


What are your thoughts? Drop them in the comments below and call me a degenerate if you want.


Ok, now THIS is definitely inappropriate THOT behavior! Can you imagine being the father of the bride and seeing her grind on her husband's dong in a room full of your friends and family?


What if nana is still alive, coherent and in attendance? You really want to flash your black thong flossed ass in front of nana?


No, not cool. Nana didn't sign up for such depravity!


No Context, Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress:

We're now post-Labor Day and Sundress Season is coming to a close.


Say a prayer. For all of us.


This woman is 45 years old, in fantastic physical shape and her 'mama butt' is perfectly proportionate to her body type. Sure she could tone it up a bit with some squat work, but she has no cellulite and there is exercise/diet routine that will ever turn that cute butt is ever going to turn into AN ASS.


That's a good thing! She looks great! Many men (myself included) prefer cute butts over gargantuan glutes any day.


I tell ya. . . Kim Kardashian's Titanic Turd Cutter has poisoned the minds of a generation of women. The Kardashian reign of terror is truly something to behold.


"Murdoch Muff Gate is not a real" they said.


"You're being crazy" they said.


Welp, the hairy lady armpit movement has escaped the pages of The Sun and NY Post and entered the realm of mainstream advertising campaign.


Many ppl are saying "Bart was right!", yet I take no pleasure in being ahead of the curve on this one. Still, it should be noted that I was indeed ahead of the curve on this one.


Speaking of . . .


It wouldn't be a weekly episode of T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) if a Rupert Murdoch owned media outlet hadn't published a story about a woman who's proud that she stopped shaving her pits n' bits.


In fact, between The NY Post and The Sun, this is the THIRTEENTH straight week they've published a story promoting a hairy women agenda.


Let's see what fur-goblin the Murdoch Media empire is pushing this week. . .

Is this the world you want to live in? A world where you walk around and everything smells like the penguin exhibit at your local zoo? A world where effective and enthusiastic cunnilingus would require a palate amenable to week-old canned tuna?


Disgusting!

 

Other Important News


Barack Obama: crack smoking bisexual?

I'll be honest. . . there are reasons to doubt Larry Sinclair's story here (including that Sinclair took and failed a lie detector test back in 2008).


To me, the story here isn't necessarily whether or not Barack Obama was a crack smoking bisexual (though, those are the most salacious details). No, I'd say that the real story here is that our media was either to scared or too biased to rigorously investigate whether or not Barack Obama was a crack smoking bisexual.


Like it or not, Obama is and was at the time, a historic figure who deserved examination. It's a shame such examination didn't take place before he was elevated to secular sainthood by our useless media ecosystem.


The most damning part of the clip above is how Adams seems resigned to NYC's fate. According to Adams, illegal immigrants are destroying NYC and he sees no ending to this (his words, not mine).


Nothing can prevent this fate!!!!!


If only there were laws on the books that allowed the federal government to expel people who had illegally entered the country! If only local authorities could coordinate with federal agencies to enforce such laws! It's a shame these things don't exist, because if they did . . . I'm sure Adams would make use of such tools to prevent NYC from being destroyed by illegal immigrants (his words, not mine).



Sharing this again because I want you to go read Steve Robinson's (the former and best ever producer of the Kirk Minihane Show) review of our videos and support the work he's doing at The Maine Wire.


Please go do both of those things!


Rich Lowry / National Review: No, We Aren’t Rome

The one in which Rich Lowry encourages you to resist the temptation to superimpose "the history of Rome and especially its decline and fall — an enduring subject of fascination — on top of our own experience and future" despite there being some pretty damn apt comparisons to be made.



From the piece:


"New York City is a self-designated “sanctuary”; Texas is not. What did New Yorkers think that meant? Why are they surprised that a non-sanctuary jurisdiction such as Texas would “bus” illegal immigrants “up” to a sanctuary jurisdiction such as their own? Do they not own a dictionary? Did they think it was a joke? Was their willingness to serve as a “sanctuary” only operative when they believed that nobody would show up?.


Mr. Cooke is, of course, correct. Unfortunately, the people who indulge in such rhetorical gamesmanship don't care about being exposed as frauds. Why would they? Do you think Eric Adams or the Democratic party of New York will suffer consequences for his policies? Worst case scenario for them is that Adams gets voted out and replaced by someone even further to the left on this issue.


Andrew Stiles / The Washington Free Beacon: World's Hottest Leader Calls It Quits


The one where Andrew Stiles laments the departure of former Finnish Primer Minister, Sanna Marin, from political life and nominates potential candidates to replace her as the "World's Hottest Leader".


Genuinely hurt that Andrew did not use "The Foxy Finnish Flushmount" - my nickname for Sanna - in his blog.

It's funny cuz she's foxy, Finnish and has small boobs.

Oh well.



The one in which Robert Stacy McCain shares the story of PoniaX Kane Calles, a man who killed a hospital security guard in Oregon and suffered the same fate at the hands of police shortly thereafter.


From the article:


"So, he was 33 when he died, and his arrest record goes all the way back to 2004, when he would have been only 14 years old. Yet when he stabbed a man in the face, he was only sentenced to three years' probation. Please, lecture me more about our alleged “mass incarceration” problem."


PoniaX got three years' probation for face stabbing back in 2015. . . seems like we've had a problem with Soros-styled DAs for longer than we thought.



The one in which Animal analyzes the typically amazing work of Dr. Victor Davis Hanson - this time on how the Obamas leveraged the progressive seizure of our institutions to transform the Democrat party into the party of the bicoastal rich and subsidized poor.



The one in which David Thompson examines women (who are biological men) who make hasty (and ill conceived) bra purchases.


From the article:


"At which point, I should add that these bra-related dramas are from transgender Reddit, where passions run high, and agonies abound"


Make sure to go give David a follow on Twitter and make his blog a part of your weekly reading list.

 

Important News, BUT Sports


Football: is back; Chiefs start title defense with win or loss against Lions

I wrote this before the season opener, but I'm guessing the Chiefs won!? Or maybe not? Either way, thankfully football is back and I'm sure the game was exciting when Patrick Mahomes made that crazy throw (for a touchdown or interception), what a wild highlight!


The Chiefs looked ready (or ill-prepared) to defend their title!


And how about those Lions! They certainly met (or failed to meet) the high expectations foisted upon them this year!


Irrespective of the outcome, I've got you covered.


Update: The Lions won because Karadius Toney put on one of the worst exhibitions in football catching history.

The Chiefs are currently the worst team in the league and slotted for the number 1 overall draft pick in 2024. Will they trade Mahomes and draft Caleb Williams? Only time will tell!


Tremendously Intriguing Artwork!

Hey, would you look at that?! Wow, that's me!


I know some of you have written off professional sports. I can't say I blame you. I've stopped watching some of them myself (which is something I wouldn't have believed a decade ago). But now, especially now, with how politics have become ugly, cynical and otherwise insulting to our intelligence - we need an escape.


You can't do politics 24/7. You don't want to become the guy who filters everything through political talking points. That's how you become insufferable, unlikable and the type of person who can no longer connect with average Americans. When you share nothing in common with average Americans, you greatly reduce your ability to convince average Americans that your ideas are good ideas.


So maybe just enjoy a football game every now and then. Or at least allow others opportunity to do the same without telling them how "football is gay and woke."


Aaron Rodgers: Had a UFO experience.

Aaron Rodgers having a UFO experience is perhaps the least shocking thing I've learned about Aaron Rodgers. The real story here is that those aliens anally probed him. . . and he liked it.


Barstool Sports / Jerry Thornton: Report: Bill Belichick is Single Again

Panty Saturation Level: Tsunami

Ladies, , , , this 71-year-old slab of pure masculinity is back on the market and is an expert at 'generating penetration in the backfield' if you catch my drift *wink*


Here's how I would imagine an intimate encounter with BB would unfold:


*Bill Belichick Voice*


"Ah, come on, your technique is terrible. It's like you didn't pay attention to our game plan. Too much teeth, no rhythm and you've barely paid any attention to the ball sack. Did you watch last week's game film? Pathetic. I'm not even going to finish. This is why we practice. No. Days. Off!"


This has been an episode of "Sexual Encounters with Bill Belichick".


You're welcome!


The "Does Jordan Love Sucks-O-Meter":


We find out on Sunday at Soldier Field.



From the article:


"Well, guess what? Colorado won, 45-42, in a nationally televised thriller in which Shedeur Sanders threw for a school-record 510 yards. It wasn’t just the yardage, either — Shedeur completed 81% of his passes (38-for-47) for four touchdowns, and didn’t throw a single interception. Meanwhile, another Jackson State transfer, Travis Hunter, caught 11 passes for 119 yards as a wide receiver and — AND! — also played cornerback on defense, making three tackles, intercepting one pass and breaking up two others. Hunter played 129 snaps, an iron man performance unheard of in modern college football."

I watched this game, and it was every bit as impressive as Robert suggests.


Trea Turner's Wife: made creampie for dessert after husband signed $300M contract with Phillies.

Very wholesome sex story right here, folks. . . .


Big props for Mrs. Trea Turner for giving her husband exactly what he deserved after bringing home $300 mil for the family. When Trea gets back with the team, they better nickname him "The Cummillionaire". Gotta name that kid "Moolah" or "Milly" or "Benjamins" or something like that.



Why would the USTA ban this buxom blonde from chugging beer at the US Open? This is likely the only moment that would've broken out of the sports media sphere and into the mainstream. The clip would've been shared 1,000,000,000 times, remind people that tennis exists.


Leave it to tennis to ban the coolest thing about tennis. By comparison, golf seems at least somewhat open to embracing cool shit - they hired Barstool to commentate the Korn Ferry Tour last month (which got me to watch amateur golf!) and they don't seem ashamed that Paige Spiranac is the most popular female golfer in America (even though she's not on the LPGA tour).


Boo tennis! Boooooooo!



We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (journalism purposes):

BSO Headline Literalness Rating: Lololol yup, that's a tiny thong in see-through dress and Apollonia is definitely bending over to show off her bum. Yes, this is a very literal BSO headline!



At this point, I think Outkick reads Flappr and is trying to troll us by taking 'the Paige Spiranac of' shtick to the next level.


If so, that would be so so so so cool.


This smokeshow billionaire heiress of the Kansas City Chiefs is single, folks, , , just something to consider for the single guys out there.


I'm really so happy that football is back.

 

Very Important Meme of the Week

Our meme of the week goes to @grandoldmemes for this fairly straightforward text on screenshot creation. Sometimes, the best memes are simple memes with very clever one-liners. Not every meme should take an hour's worth of effort in photoshop. You see this one and immediately giggle at the various layers of cleverness involved.


10/10, whistle was blown (twice, allegedly).

 

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3 Comments


Guest
Sep 08, 2023

I'm tired of seeing woman have hairy armpits.. If I wanted to look at a hairy pit, I'd stare at my own!

Like

Hayden Martin
Sep 08, 2023

Man, whoever writes these deserves a raise. Such quality. Flappr has great T.I.T.S.

Like

Guest
Sep 08, 2023

Good morning, dear friends.

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