We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news!
We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
Very Important News!
I am: tired and short on time.
The extended family came to visit for the holidays. My house has been conquered by small humans screaming for cookies, batteries and screen time. I have had very little time to write or research topics for this week's blog. I literally changed a diaper and helped my son finish a Lego Porsche while trying to finish the blog.
Accordingly, this edition of T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) is going to be either a 'best of' end of year edition or a normal edition, but much more truncated than usual. I'm not sure which yet, to be honest. Maybe it will be some amalgamation of both? I'm not going to go back and edit this section to reflect whichever path I choose, so we're going to experience this editorial journey together.
I'm just as curious as you are to see how this one turns out!
We couldn't end the year without a visit from our honey-dew'd heroine, right? Donna D'Errico is, in many ways, our first and most iconic Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subject. I spent the better part of a year chronicling Donna's battles with Karens and online trolls (and HATERS!) and thirst-posting domination of the blogosphere with my coverage of the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy (the "DDMTE"). It was a privilege to stand shoulder to shoulder with this Dairy Endowed Debutant from Dolton, Alabama in her quest for freedom to post elite level MILF thirst on social media. I think we made a difference. I think we won.
This past week, it appears that Donna made news by posting what horny commenter aburt3377 called "Holiday Hotness 🎄🔥". An apt description, if there ever was one. What is next for our Bosomy Baywatch Beauty? It is hard to say, but we do know that no amount of shaming from haters and trolls will keep her down.
Happy New Year, Donna DD'Errico (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes).
The Great MILF War of 2023: ended with a whimper?
Avid T.I.T.S. enthusiasts will recall that, after concluding my weekly coverage of the DDMTE - I picked up a new assignment. This time I was Flappr's official war correspondent, responsible for chronicling the Most Intriguing Latin Female War of 2023 ("The Great MILF Feud of 2023") between Sofia Vergara and Salma Hayek.
It had appeared for weeks that Vergara (fresh off divorce) and Hayek (a beautiful woman with huge Mexican Milkers) we're engaged in a tremendously intriguing tête-à-tête for MILFy Latina social media dominance. One week, Vergara posted her Breathtaking Bogota Bum-Bum to Instagram to wide acclaim. The next, Hayek launched a Curvaceous Coatzacoalcos Counter-Offensive, posting a video of her Voluptuous Vera Cruzan Chin Bangers frolicking in a pool. Many thought we were in the midst of legendary Latina thirst war . . . but then the elite thirst posts fizzled out and things ended in détente.
Or I just got bored of writing this bit and moved on, it's hard to say. But what we do know is that for that month or so in 2023, the internet was set ablaze with spicy senorita snaps and the world was better off for it - despite hostilities ending with a lackluster stalemate.
It would be unethical if we failed to mention a darker, hairier, part of 2023 - our battle with the Murdoch Media Empire and their seemingly endless campaign to promote hairy woman propaganda. We dubbed this 'Hairy Murdoch Muff Gate" and I chronicled at least FOURTEEN straight weeks where a Murdoch owned media entity posted published a story about a woman who's proud that she stopped shaving her pits n' bits.
Thankfully, the story linked above is from October and we haven't seen any new mangey minge psy-ops posted since.
I cannot confirm this, but I do think Flappr's tireless reporting on this scandal had some effect in putting an end to this national nightmare. We refuse to take credit for this victory, we are just happy that women can now manicure their pubic region without a coordinated media effort trying to convince them otherwise.
You are welcome, though. . . just saying.
One of my biggest regrets of 2023 is my show of support for this Smoking Mormon MILF [who was] Martyred For [her] Massive Milkers. I thought she seemed like a nice lady who suffered a loss (her husband passed away) and was looking for a way to pay the bills and feed her children. That might still be true, in some respect, but she also seems to really, really, enjoy exposing herself in public:
I'm going to speak on behalf of the class here and say that we all enjoy smoking Mormon MILFs (we love 'em, don't we folks!?!), but wearing this type of tiddy/thigh outfit to Home Depot is a step over the line. Elderly men work at Home Depot. Those elderly men have heart conditions and the last thing they need is to see that much exposed tiddy walking down the lumber aisle. That's too much 'wood' and 'would' for dudes who haven't had a good bowel movement since the Carter administration.
Sadly, these acts of public thottery led me to rescind my support for this MILFy Mormon and her Titillating Tabernacles earlier this year. This does not seem to have slowed her down, though, as the Daily Star wrote about 20-25 articles about her social media adventures this year. But yeah, sure, Flappr is a "sm*t blog".
As an asside (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes), what do you think about that Latter-Day-Dumper, Al Pacino from Heat?
Yeah, I think we all could've guessed you'd appreciate that Mormon Money Maker, Al Pacino from Heat. My opinion? Well, despite my disappointment in this MILF's eGirl heel turn, I cannot deny that her bum is nice, round and pleasant looking.
Important News!
We're cutting straight to sharing links from our friends.
Diogenes' Middle Finger: America's Christmas Card to The WH Press Office
From the article:
Simple and concise. Very effective.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Santa, Baby!; and ‘Corporate Profit’ and the Political Ideas That Are Driving America’s Crime Wave
The one in which Robert Stacey McCain shared with you a story out of Milwaukee about two 18 year olds who stole $300 in merchandise and then wrapped their car around a light pole:
From the article:
Where any government creates conditions that are incompatible with profitable business activity, they will thereby drive jobs out of the community. (Hint: There are no CVS stores in Gaza.) You may say, “Well, Home Depot is a gigantic nationwide business that’s in no danger of going out of business anytime soon.” True, but any particular Home Depot location that doesn’t make a profit will be closed, costing jobs at the local level. And if a community tolerates lawlessness, there won’t be any Home Depot locations there.
Yeah, that's right.
Animal Magnetism: And Merry Christmas!
The one in which Animal wished you a Merry Christmas:
David Thompson: The Year Reheated
The one where David recapped a very long year of "mental contortions [from] our self-imagined betters."
From the article:
In June, we browsed the pages of Personnel Today, a publication for the inhabitants of HR departments, and learned of the Royal Air Force’s prioritizing of brownness and womb-having as the most important attributes for would-be pilots.
The whole thing is fantastic, I encourage you to give it a read and to make David Thompson a part of your weekly reading diet.
Important Sports News!
TNF: The Browns kicked the shit out of the Jets.
I typically include a clip, but I spent the whole weekend editing the awards blogs. . . so, I'm just gonna be lazy.
Connor Bedard: holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
If you haven't seen this highlight, you need to go watch this highlight.
I'll wait . . . .
Did you watch it yet? You did? How fucking cool was that? This little fucker pulled off what Hockey people call as a "Michigan goal", named after Mike Legg, who pulled this goal off in a game while he was a winger for the Michigan Wolverines.
The difficulty level here is off the charts. If you locked 95% of NHL players in a hockey rink for an entire day, I'm not sure many of them could pull this off without 5 guys trying to crush their skulls. To do this in an ACTUAL game? It's just insane. Truly, this kid is something special.
And true to form, the Blackhawks found a way to lose that game 7-5. Oh well.
Jerry Thornton | Barstool Sports: Bailey Zappe and Bill Belichick Becoming Hug Bros Could Be a Sign Both Will Be Back in 2024
If you've read this blog in 2023, you'll know the following about me (amongst other things): 1) I am a miserable, defeated, Bears fan; and 2) I am an ardent supporter of American Patriot (literal and figurative), William Stephen Belichick.
It truly bums me out that Belichick appears to be exiting New England on such a sour note. It was nice to see the Patriots somehow find a way to crush the Denver Broncos, and their playoff aspirations, on Christmas Day. I hope Robert Kraft comes to his sense and retains Bill Belichick for another year. I hope that Belichick returns with a quarterback better than Bailey Zappe.
Also, Jerry Thornton is one of the best writers at Barstool and you should read him.
You didn't think we'd end the year without a visit with Paige, did you? Ms. Spiranac has been a source of true inspiration for all of us this year. A titan of sport, books and business. She is an icon, with more Instagram followers than Tiger Woods.
Paige is at the top of her game and per this article, she only wants to get better! "Disgustingly good", even! I'm not sure how this Curvy Coloradan could get any sexier (even bigger boobs?), but we're eager to see what she has in store for 2024!
Oh . . . she's talking about her golf game. Well, we're sure that she's going to succeed in that endeavor as well!
Happy New Year, Paige Spiranac.
The Sun: World’s sexiest volleyball player Kayla Simmons posts sweaty sauna snap as fans hail ‘perfection’
You didn't think we'd end the year without checking in on Kayla Simmons, did you? No, Kayla has been a mainstay on this blog in 2023 and is deserving of her title of 'World’s Sexiest Volleyball Player' (though, we don't know of any others to compare her with, but still).
Based on this article it would appear that Ms. Simmons is ringing in her new year with a refreshing trip to the sauna. This is the type of 'saunagram' that we'd all sign up for, right folks?! That's a little medical imaging humor for you. Anyways . . .
Happy New Year, Kayla Simmons.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (journalism purposes):
Before I got to writing this final section of the blog, I thought to myself 'it would be so perfect to finish with a BSO Literal Headline Rating that featured Mikayla Demaiter, I hope they wrote about her this week. It would really put a bow on 2024'. Well, they didn't write about her this week, but they did write about her last week, so we're going to say goodbye to 2024 with these two-for-one combo.
Final BSO Headline Literalness Rating: this one is perfect because it combines two of my favorite things about BSO headlines - they're often very literal and they're often slightly misleading for clickbait purposes. Here, Mikalya is clearly not 'topless', she's wearing a bra! However, she is wearing a miniskirt, so we'll say this one is a very literal, but slightly misleading BSO headline.
Happy New Year, Black Sports Online. Happy New Year, Mikayla Demaiter.
Very Important Meme of the Year
This meme from @midnightmitch is my meme of the year. It's really just so damn good. It takes an existing meme template and transforms it into something nobody was expecting. This meme goes to show that while memes are effective political messaging tools, the best ones are often apolitical and just find a way to capture a moment of simple joy that everyone can chuckle over.
But to be honest, there are too many good memes to choose one as 'Meme of the Year'. So, I'm going to use the remainder of this blog to provide you with a list of meme artisans that I demand you follow - for your own good.
@Richard_Harambe (won "Meme of the Week" more than anyone else in 2023).
I love you all. Happy New Year and God Bless America.
Some Flappr Blogs
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