We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news! We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
VERY Important MILF Feud of 2023 News!
Folks, , , , I am going to be (temporarily) shifting my focus from market coverage the DDMTE to war correspondent coverage of the one of the most iconic battles of our time.
We cannot ignore this struggle for MILF supremacy between two Supple Senoritas of the Silver Screen.
We must not avert our eyes from this marvelous melee of Massively Milker'd MILFs.
I'm talking, of course, of the competition between the Curvaceous Columbian Casabas of Sofia Vergara and the Mountainous Mexican Moo Moos of Salma Hayek, or what's become colloquially known as "The Most Intriguing Latin Female Feud of 2023" or "The MILF Feud of 2023" for short.
Little is known about the origin of this conflict - and to be clear I completely made all of this up and doubt that these women are in competition with each other - but tensions appeared to have escalated over the past seven days.
Hayek, the Aeriola'd Aztecan perhaps best known for her roles in films such as Desperado and Frida, fired the first shot last week when [she] posted a bikini workout video thirst trap to celebrate Instagram milestone (an actual headline from Today.com).
It appears that Hayek posted this video on "National Bikini Day", a totally not made-up holiday, to commemorate and reward her fans for helping her surpass the 25 million follower mark on Instagram.
Fascinating. . . let's investigate.
Yes, it does appear that Hayek's full-frontal assault, did *ahem* escalate many things . . .
Now Hayek posting thirst on IG was nothing new, she has routinely posted photos of herself in a bikini over the past few years. This was video, however, was different. This video was very thirsty. This video sent shockwaves across social media, with the post racking up 75 thousand likes on a repost by @DailyLoud and thousands of comments from horny followers like, @goes_by_carlos, who aptly noted "12.5 million for each one."
Things might have ended there. Things could've, perhaps, de-escalated and returned to the status quo. But somewhere in Italy, while on vacation for her birthday, a certain Colossal Corium Cannon Wielding Columbian took notice.
Sofia Vergara, known for her role as Al Bundy's wife on 'Modern Family', has apparently been celebrating her 51st birthday for about three weeks now. On June 26nd, Fox News reported that Vergara [got] cheeky in thong bikini ahead of [her] 51st birthday (yes, an actual headline from Fox News), wherein the Bosomy Belleza dropped a photo of her Barranquillan Bum on IG.
Weeks would pass without Vergara posting any photos nearing the levels of thirst evoked by her "peek-a-booty" post. Then. . . Hayek dropped her celebratory video.
We will have to rely on future historians to uncover the truth of what motivated Vergara's next move. Perhaps Sofia saw Salama's post, saw that she had reached 25 million followers and felt a need to defend her MILF turf (Vergara has 30 million followers)? Perhaps Sofia felt like her safe, but seductive, thirst posting was holding her back? Perhaps all of this was just a coincidence and I'm just making things up in this satirical blog to entertain you (very likely).
We do not have answers to these questions, but here is what we do know - on July the 10th in the year of our Lord 2023, SofÃa Vergara [Rocked a] Neon Green Swimsuit in Viral Photo on Instagram (yes an actual headline from Yahoo).
In what would later become known as The Barranquillan Birthday Booby Trap Barrage, Sofia Vergara posted this photo, drawing nearly 400k likes from the @DailyLoud's tweet and the first big battle of The MILF Feud of 2023 had been won.
What had been a Dairy-Endowed Disagreement has heighted into open conflict.
What had been a Rivalry of Ravishing Rib-Cushions has been elevated to open hostility.
What had been a Cold War of Capacious Cantaloupes has gone hot. . . VERY HOT.
The blouses of the Latinas have fallen. Begun, The Great MILF Feud of 2023 has.
As always, we will continue to monitor The Most Intriguing Latin Female Feud of 2023 for further developments.
Very Important News
We: have not forgotten about Donna D'Errico.
Not that she'd ever allow us to forget about her anyways. . . but the DDMTE bit needs a break and The MILF Feud of 2023 seems like a fun sojourn for summer.
Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra: just gave 13-year-old me an aneurysm.
These two look still look amazing. Feels like some of these broads don't age anymore.
Hear that, Ladies, , , , stop steaming and melting your minges!
So I don't know Adam22 from, well. . . Adam. I've only heard about Adam22 and his wife Lena from the bizarre cuckold posting that's transpired from their accounts in the past month (Adam married Lena and then had a black man film himself having sex with her) . . . but I assume this is all just a 'you will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension' marketing thing, right?
I don't know what they're marketing, but if you're enthusiastically cuckolding yourself to make yourself famous. . . yeah, I think it speaks for itself.
Find Jesus, Adam22.
Alright, I'm game. Let's see what this "instant off" is all about.
So the turn off is that she has kids and dudes cannot bang her in broad daylight because her kids might knock on the door? I dunno, I think if you're a guy and you're dating a single mom, you kind of have to know what you're getting yourself into - in fact, you should only get involved with a single mother if you're ready to embrace the situation.
This is a feature, not a bug, of banging a cougary single mom.
No Context, Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress:
So I've made my views on twins-banging-twins known on this blog before. I think it's just a way for soulless swinging degenerates to have sex with other people but pretend it's just the twin they're dating. "Oh sorry, John, I thought you were your identical brother, Jim, who is my husband, I didn't mean to perform oral sex on you in the dark. Please don't tell my identical sister, and your wife, Suzie, who is definitely not heels up in the other room with my husband, and your identical brother, Jim!"
I think an exception can be made here, though, because these two blonde identical twin towers of mommy milky power married two FRATERNAL twins. The likelihood of such chicanerous copulation is far lower in such an arrangement because the dudes don't literally look the same. I'm still suspicious, though.
This is not a burger, it's a 20 slices of cheese between two pieces of bread. This is a cheese sandwich. Burger King is literally just selling a cheese sandwich. Looks gross.
Emily Ratajkowski: walks around like this in her kitchen?
Not complaining, but still. . . people eat in that room.
For those of you who are not fluent in "internet ret*rd speak", people on Twitter are saying Margot Robbie is "mid" as in "Margot Robbie isn't THAT hot, she's mid (or only average looking)."
I have to assume this is just a joke, right? Maybe it's just a surreptitious marketing ploy by the film studio to drum up interest in Barbie ahead of its release next week.
No, the only thing "mid" about Margot Robbie is the over-exuberant praise she received for her portrayal of Harley Quinn in various films of low to poor quality. Margot Robbie is gorgeous and, quite frankly, the only working actress today who made sense to play the iconic plastic blonde bombshell.
Mid. . . really? Fellas, put down the porn and stop being fucking weirdos.
Meet Meowmom: Flappr Documentary Enjoyer and Sundress Nationalist!
The Flappr Community is among the greatest ever assembled.
Have to say, there are few things in life that sound less enticing than a nude cruise with 2,300 people. Cruises are already kind of gross when they're occupied by clothed guests, but just imagine rolling up to the buffet line and seeing a dude's furry twig and berries hovering over the prime rib.
I prefer my over-cooked Salsbury steak without pubes, thank you very much!
It wouldn't be a weekly T.I.T.S. if there wasn't a Rupert Murdoch-owned media entity wasn't pushing some pro-women-who-don't-shave propaganda. In fact, between The NY Post and The Sun, this is the FIFTH straight week they've published a story on women who refuse to shave their arm-pits, legs and/or their velvet love lounges.
Between this and firing Tucker Carlson, Rupert is teetering on irredeemable (though he could redeem himself by offering us 50 million dollars for our critically beloved documentary series).
No thank you, I don't think I'll be investigating this headline any further.
I think Jonah Hill is fairly overrated as an actor. I don't really know much about what he's been accused of here, but if his sole crime is setting boundaries within a relationship and then ending that relationship when those boundaries are crossed. . . I don't think he's done anything wrong here.
Actually, I am kind of surprised that Jonah Hill is not an enthusiastic cuckold like that Adam22 guy.
It would appear that we're in a week-long news cycle of women coming out of the woodwork to accuse Jonah Hill of being sexually aggressive or emotionally manipulative. It's always kind of hard to judge what's true and what's motivated by an opportunity for notoriety when such episodes unfold.
I don't have any particular affinity for Jonah Hill, so we'll see how these unprovable claims unfold.
PLUS: Abby Shapiro EVISCERATES a debate with a trans woman!
Go subscribe to Abby's YouTube Channel, support her work!
Very Important Meme of the Week
This week's honor goes to a meme that went beyond just its singular existence, but started an entire days-long-theme of similarly template memes.
The Grimace meme, and its mockery of the current celebrity-worshipping state of the conservative convention circuit, is itself a worthy recipient of meme of the week.
Go, take a look at this thread (QTs and replies) and have a laugh or two at the expense of the current state of politics.
10/10, did make 3-4 of my own contributions to that thread, but am too magnanimous to ever give myself an award.
Other Important News
Joe Biden: went to England and chatted up a member of the British King's Guard
Hasn't Joe Biden ever watched National Lampoon's European Vacation? Those guys aren't suppose to move or talk! What an idiot!
Mika Brzezinski: is mad that Biden's staff can't make him less old and demented.
Really, Mika? I mean on the rare occasion Biden does hold press conferences, his staff gives him note cards with answers for pre-selected questions from his lap-dog media allies. They give him note cards with instructions on where to go, where to sit, when to sit and when he say to "hello". They dressed as the Easter Bunny and ushered him away before he said something (more) stupid.
Now you want this exhausted staff of Marxists to develop ways to defy the laws of physics and human biology? That's too much to ask, in my opinion.
Fox News: President Biden gets snarky, mocks reporters while meeting with Zelenskyy during NATO summit
Finally, Joe Biden does something I can support - bullying journos. Seriously, though, imagine torching all of your professional ethics to help this octogenarian asshole get elected, then spending two plus years pretending to not notice that he's corrupt, senile and terrible at his job. . . only to have him mock you to your face.
Journos absolutely deserve this and much, much, more.
Charles C. W. Cooke / National Review: Joe Biden Is an Asshole
The one in which, Charlie details Joe Biden's 50 year legacy of lying, screaming, and bumbling; finally says out loud what he and the rest of us have known for quite some time.
Alternate comment: HA HA HA, yes!
Jim Geraghty / National Review: Disney Enters a Crisis of Its Own Making
Fascinating look into the downturn into Disney's struggling amusement park business (attendance down to the lowest it's been in a decade). Geraghty then looks at how ticket prices to the Magic Kingdom have increased over the years - a ticket that cost $52 in 2003, now costs between $124-$189 today.
In addition to serving as schadenfreude to those of us who hate what Disney has become, this information helps us understand how Disney became that way. Namely, Disney raised its prices, stopped being a brand for middle class families, started becoming a luxury brand and are now beholden to the values of upper-middle class childless millennials.
Tragic, in a way, to see what so many iconic American brands have done to themselves.
You should read Jerry Thornton at Barstool.
I mean, you knew this was going to be the outcome, right? Was there ever a doubt that the White House Cocaine User was going to end up like the SCOTUS leaker or the person who planted expl*sives at the RNC and DNC before J6? If you had such doubts, you shouldn't have.
The Washington Free Beacon: Here's What Don Lemon and Jeff Zucker Discussed on Vacation in Italy
I love that the Free Beacon does legitimate journalism and also publishes blogs like this - which could almost be mistaken for Flappr blogs. Andrew Stiles is a funny dude and the Free Beacon really is an under-appreciated gem.
This shit is so wild. Same week this dude sues Fox News and Tucker Carlson for defamation, he gets indicted for what we all saw on film over 2 years ago.
I have theories, you have theories, it's as bizarre as it is obvious. Again, journos have never really tried to investigate what his role was on that day. Why?
Diogenes' Middle Finger: Whoa..Need to Bring It Down a Notch There Little Guy
Zelensky upset that NATO is not seeking his input about "certain wording"; does not appreciate that Ukraine is not a member of NATO.
Animal Magnetism: Animal's Daily Scumbag News
Joe Biden, who told his staff that he "would fire [them]on the spot' if they disrespected others, spent the past two years disrespecting his staff.
Thompson, blog: Big City Dreams and Bar Tabs And Tokens Of Esteem
You should really bookmark and make Thompson, blog part of your weekly reading diet - also, if you can spare a few quid, our good British mate, David, is running his annual fundraiser to keep his blog running.
The Other McCain: Are YOU a ‘White Nationalist’? and With ‘Friends’ Like This …
The fellas over at The Other McCain share a wild story, highlighting the consequences of bail reform in my hometown.
The Most Libtarded Thing You'll See This Week:
Reverse polarization is so bad that leftist journos are siding with obesity to own the cons. Driving your tribe away from fitness and into "body positivity" is a bold choice, but these conditions are acceptable to most people on the "Right".
Important News, BUT Sports
Vlad Guerrero Jr: wins HR derby; drills kid in face.
Ouch. I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.
Dave Portnoy: is correct, Tom Brady cannot date Kim Kardashian
So first things first - Kim Kardashian is very attractive. Yes, she's hot, that's not in question. She's also very famous - probably even more famous than Tom Brady! She's definitely more wealthy than him!
The issue really comes down to how Kim became famous . . . biting a pillow, in a porn, that her mom (allegedly) marketed to help build her career. She's famous for being the of fake-reality-TV type personality that will publish a video of herself getting dicked down. That's her reputation and she embraces that! No big deal! It's worked for her!
Tom Brady is famous for being the greatest Quarterback of all time. His reputation is pretty wholesome! He was, until recently, the corny family man who bragged about never drinking coffee and eating avocado ice cream!
He can't just go out and fuck Kim Kardashian.
Following Ray-J, Reggie Bush, 10 NBA dudes, Kanye, Pete Davidson and others I'm sure I've omitted. . . is a decided come down in class for him. If Tom Brady fucks Kim Kardashian that fucking will irreparably damage his legacy forever.
Would I let my best friend fuck Kim Kardashian? Sure! That would be a huge status boost for him and modern medicine seems to have a cure for any STD mother nature can conjure up!
But Tom Brady is no mere mortal. He's Tom Fucking Brady and he can't be out there sticking his dick in talentless Kardashian trim!
Sorry, Tom, can't co-sign you fucking Kim Kardashian.
The media is mad that Dave Portnoy, who has a girlfriend, does not want to cheat on her with some woman that the media tried to get him to bang via Twitter.
Very strange.
Fresh off her retirement, Megan Rapinoe, the wokest of all woke women athletes lames Dave Chappelle for 'violence' against trans people; ignores fact that the only 'violence' to have transpired in this instance came when a trans activist attacked Chappelle with a gun-knife during one of his shows.
Riley Gaines: launched a new podcast with Outkick.
I have not watched/listened to this yet, but I plan on giving it a shot. It never hurts to support people sticking up for themselves and our rights to live in a sane world.
Marcus, Son of Michael: Motorboated Scottie Pippen's ex-Wife in public.
This will never stop being weird to me. Come on, Marcus, have a little respect for my childhood memories. This is not the way the Scottie x Michael saga should end. How can you be bros when one dude's son is motorboating the other dude's ex-wife in a club and posting it online?
For shame. Larsa's boobs are pretty big, though.
So Olivia Dunne's celebrity has grown on me a little bit, but why was she invited to the ESPYs? I'm not hating on her for attending, but is she even good at. . . <looks up Olivia Dunne's sport> gymnastics?
Shouldn't the ESPYs invitations be reserved for athletes at the top of their game?
Speaking of the ESPYs: Norm MacDonald's iconic monologue was 25 years ago, this week.
RIP, Norm.
Fascinating, lets rate the literalness of this BSO headline!
Headline Accuracy Rating: This is a very literal BSO headline.
The Sun: Paige Spiranac rival Bri Teresi bursts out of top while wearing tiny denim shorts while bizarrely holding chicken holding
Let's investigate the accuracy of this headline!
Headline Accuracy Rating: Yes, she's bizarrely holding a chicken, no she's not a "Paige Spiranac Rival", she's not even a B-Tier "Paige Spiranac Rival" . . . she's maybe C-Tier at best.
These outlets really need to stop trying to compare these influencers to Paige, it's really irresponsible!
We need to reform ethics in journalism!
Paige Spiranac: has picks for the Scottish Open.
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