Mon Dieu…
I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about it…I’m tired of hearing about it. But we’re gonna talk about it.
Before we go there, remember the marketing campaigns of days gone by...
Spuds McKenzie:
The Bud-Wise-Er Frogs:
The King:
Wazzup:
And of course, the Clydesdales:
And now? Anheuser-Busch. Dylan Mulvaney. Plummeting sales amid an actual boycott.
The global lizard elites want us united. One world, one religion, one allegiance…the state. And their chosen method of decimating America? Chaos. If you can’t trust your justice system to fulfill the law…if your wife or husband is constantly feeling oppressed in your relationship, pining for “freedom”...if your middle schoolers are confused about whether or not their body parts match who they are…what better time of distraction for destruction? As the calamity continues, we see the incessant push of Critical Gender Theory thrusting itself into the not-even-proverbial backside of our very economy. And that unity concept? If no one can swim in the turbulent wake of ESG treachery, then the government has the perfect opportunity to institute every historical level of tyranny we’ve read about. And that corporate crush has given us exactly what they wanted, though not in the way they expected. Unity against Bud.
Alissa Heinerscheid took the helm of Bud Light marketing in February with an aim to shift the top brand into an era of lighter, directed marketing to bring in a new audience of drinkers.
“As the number one beer in the industry, it’s incumbent upon us to act like a leader and set the standard," she said. “We’re excited to see what 2023 brings.” And she did ok. Her Super Bowl commercials were different but fun and relatively well received.
But what did she have to say about her product just two months later?
“This brand is in decline. It's been in decline for a really long time and if we do not attract young drinkers to come and drink this brand there will be no future for Bud Light.”
Now….that's interesting…because…..uh….
Words like “fratty” and “inconsistent” when it comes to brand messaging to your current consumers doesn’t exactly strike me as a winning strategy to keep your customers and obtain new ones. Now I'm not a female/cancer survivor/marketing executive, but this seems untenable.
So what does she do? Slaps a picture of TikTok’s favorite transface attention whore on a can of Bud Light and inks a promotional deal. Then again, she might have just dug deep into the rich tapestry of former Bud Light ads and decided to rehash a previous strategy:
And the results?
Record losses. Conservative boycott. Normies on both sides of the aisle quietly being red and black pilled.
It's so bad they even shot this abomination of desperation at us in response:
When was the last time conservatives got on board with a boycott for literally anything? Remember in the 2010s when Facebook moms would spin up “Don't Buy China Day” in protest of American manufacturing jobs disappearing? How many of those did you participate in?
Yeah I didn't think so...and that was just a single day.
The war on Anheuser has crossed well over the 30 day line with no end in sight. According to one very un-scientific experiment run by Clay Travis, people refused to drink a Bud Light in Nashville, even when it was offered to them for free.
Imagine that, people turning down free beer(!!!) (according to Clay Travis) because they're afraid of being seen drinking Bud Light.
I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but I find it important to revel in the things that truly unite us all in disgust: beer execs hiring creeps whose primary audience is 14 year olds.
We still have morals. Keep it up, America.