We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news!
We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
Very Important News!
Paige Spiranac: won Halloween.
What. A. Woman. I mean . . . holy shit, right?
This is why there is no "Next Paige Spiranac" or "The Paige Spiranac of <insert sport here>". This is why we must audit Outkick and others.
There is only one Paige Spiranac and she owns the internet.
I think people have forgotten how hot Kate Upton is/was during the peak of her modeling career. I wouldn't say she was the "Paige Spiranac of her day" because she's only a year older than Paige and because I am better than resorting to lazy, Outkick Sports-type, tropes.
Kate Upton's 2013 SI Swimsuit cover was, according to experts (me), the last iconic cover the magazine ever published. A beautiful woman, with Massive All-Natural Calcium Cannons - Kate Upton has a firm, supple, spot on Flappr's Mt. Rushmore of Milkers (the name is still a work in progress).
So, it was a nice surprise to see Kate Upton pop up on the internet again. She seems to keep a somewhat low profile. I know she tried acting a while back, but haven't seen much of her outside of being the hottest Baseball WAG to ever live.
Welcome back, Kate, for some of us - you never left*.
*Kate Upton has been the inspiration for a number of T.I.T.S. cover art designs.
Folks, , , , it pains me to inform you that the haters and the losers (of which there are many) have, once again, come for Donna D'Errico.
The trolls will just not leave our Dairy Endowed Debutant alone! Thankfully for you, me, and the world - Donna's two favorite things are chewing gum and clapping back at Karens . . . and she's all outta juicy fruit!
From the article:
"Hater women: Feel better about yourselves. Build up other women. In doing so, you can shine, too," she wrote. If they still didn't get the message, Dona (sic) had one final message for them... "I guess you can simply kiss my ass."
Oh, fuck yeah! Go get those photo reporting, shadow-ban enabling, cunts! I have no plans to bring back the DDMTE, but whenever I see a 'Donna D'Errico Slaps Back at Trolls' story . . .you better believe it's going in T.I.T.S.!
Donna's story deserves to be told. Donna's story needs to be told.
She's hiding a 'big secret'? Please don't be a cock. Please don't be a cock.
From the article:
However, the 35-year-old model reveals her appearance isn’t all-natural – in fact she's far from it – as she’s gone under the knife several times.
Ohhhh . . . so her secret is that she is surgically enhanced!
I mean, based on the size, shape and density of her . . . lips, it's fairly obvious she's had some filler work done.
Wait . . . where did you think I was going with that? Did you think I was going to comment on her BFTs? I am actually kind of offended that you'd think I would immediately stare at and judge her breasts. I mean, what do you think I am, some kind of tits-obsessed pervert? I'm not, you dickheads. I'm a documentary filmmaker! We make feature-length documentaries on revolutions and the horrors of communism! These films are highly acclaimed! People like and respect them! Seriously, you can fuck right off with that "smut blog" bullshit.
Her boobs are very big, nice and (obviously) surgically enhanced, though.
So, according to Liz Hurley Instagram comment guy, johnno1578, Liz Hurley should not have posted this video because she: "put a post up about Mathew (sic) Perry who drowned in a hot tub [and] then the next day you put a post up with you posing in water!! Couldn’t you [have] waited a few days at least[.]"
Imagine seeing this video and somehow connecting it to the death of Matthew Perry. Imagine thinking you're not allowed to go swimming after a friend dies in a hot tub. Imagine thinking that posting this video was so offensive that you'd comment on the internet. Imagine being this fucking insufferable.
You know who probably wouldn't have given a shit about sexy-ass Liz Hurley posting a video of herself frolicking in a pool? Matthew Perry.
I bet that dude (RIP) loved hot chicks.
I am a romantic at heart. I want to believe that 'love is blind' and that he's the first guy who was willing to overlook (pun) the physical differences to discover that this little person has a heart of gold!
But . . . of course she has an OnlyFans.
That makes me skeptical of everything. Is this romance real or just an elaborate ruse to help them promote sex vids to overeager perverts with money to burn?
I want to believe, but I've been burned by mixed-height couples before. I don't want to be hurt again.
Look, this woman is cute! I'm happy that she's reached a place where she's confident in her body! But, now that you mention it, wearing that booty dress to a wedding is kind of a dick move.
Yes, it's the bride's day and the attention should be focused on her, yada yada. But beyond that - there are usually kids at weddings. And old people.
You don't need little Billy and/or old Bill experiencing their first and/or last erections while trying to scarf down an overcooked filet. There is a time and place for that dress (bachelorette's party) and it's not at a wedding for a friend you obviously hate (because why else would you wear that dress to her wedding).
A little decorum is a good thing.
As an asside (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes), how would you rate her bum, Al Pacino from Heat?
You know what, Al Pacino from Heat? I think I mostly agree with you on this one, though I think it's more of a "nice ass" than a great one. Still seems like we're on the same page here, though!
This story by Simon Shuster of TIME Magazine (who previously wrote the article naming Zelensky TIME's “Person of the Year”) is the best piece of journalism I've read in a long time. It's filled with first-hand accounts and quotes from a reporter who traveled with Zelensky back to Kiev from his latest visit to D.C.
Here's the TL;DR (BUT YOU SHOULD GO READ THE WHOLE THING)
- The counter offensive failed.
- Zelensky still wants to win the war on Ukrainian terms (e.g. retaking lost all of the lost territory + Crimea)
- Casualties on both sides have been staggering (the average age of a Ukranian solder is now 43 years old).
- Recruitment has become very difficult.
- One close Zelensky aide complained to Shuster that some front-line commanders have begun refusing orders to advance because they are deemed impossible.
- Corruption is a real problem “[p]eople are stealing like there’s no tomorrow" according to a "top presidential advisor".
Take from that what you will. Regardless of your opinion on the war, this was incredibly well sourced reporting. It's worth your time to read and learn to better understand the reality on the ground.
Elon Musk: went on Joe Rogan again.
I know that many of you have tired on Musk - but I think his decision to buy Twitter was still a huge win for liberty. Even if you don't like how he's run the company, he ripped a massively powerful tool out of the (underdeveloped) arms of the communists. Musk put his money where his mouth was and has inspired other people of means to do the same.
Who knows, your kids might even live to see the day where being a normal human being and living a Judeo-Christian lifestyle becomes acceptable again.
The interview is good. Rogan and Musk are just two guys bein' dudes for 2 hours. I recommend you give it a listen.
From the article:
A Hamas official has vowed to repeat the horrific terror attacks on Israel earlier this month “again and again” until the country is completely destroyed, insisting it has “no place on our land.”
“It is Israel, not us. We are the victims of the occupation. Therefore, nobody should blame us for the things we do. On October 7, October 10, October 1,000,000 — everything we do is justified.”
You know, I don't think these Hamas folks will ever figure out how to get along with their neighbors. It's also funny to read what Hamas actually says, how American communist types will contextualize it for them and then still insist Israel is the aggressor and should commit to a cease fire.
National Review: Exit Mike Pence
The one in which the Editors of National Review eulogize the short-lived presidential campaign of our former Vice President.
I wouldn't have voted for Mike Pence. I don't think he would be a particularly good president. I am not sure that he should've decided to run. However, I do believe that Mike Pence is a decent man who (HOT TAKE INCOMING) has been done dirty by people who believe he had the power to overturn an election. He did not.
I know. I know. You all hate me now.
Andrew Stiles / Washington Free Beacon: BAD NEWS FOR BIDEN: Kamala Harris Predicts Victory in 2024
From the article:
What happened: In a blow to President Joe Biden's reelection prospects, Vice President Kamala Harris confidently predicted the Democratic ticket would prevail in 2024.
Why it matters: If history is any indication, this is bad news for Biden. During the Democratic primary in 2020, Harris was similarly confident that she would win the party's nomination for president.
I just like how Stiles uses the "What happened" and "Why it matters" format to mock Axios, who uses the same (or similar) template for reporting on news.
Feels like something Flappr would do. We might actually have to steal that.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Pre-Halloween Treats; While Hamas Supporters Terrorize Jews, Can You Guess What Noah Berlatsky Considers a More Important Menace? and Carnac the Magnificent Knows the Answer
The one in which Robert Stacey McCain takes you on a walk down memory lane, to a time when late-night TV was something other than 40-something soy boys, to a time when Johnny Carson ruled the silver screen and would regularly perform funny bits like Carnac the Magnificent.
From the article:
So now picture me in the role of Carnac, with my bejeweled and feather-crested turban, holding the envelope as I perceive the answer:
After a bit of comic banter with my sidekick Ed McMahon, I then proceed to open the envelope and read the previously hidden question:
“What will we learn if and when the FBI ever decides to release the manifesto of Nashville school shooter Audrey Hale?”
Animal Magnetism: Vacation Totty
Apparently, Animal was on vacation this week - but he's left you with something to bide the time until his return.
David Thompson: Our Betters At Large
The one in which David shares with you the story of a UK-Based BLM organizer who was glorified by the media and then, shockingly, pilfered donations for her own private use.
From the article:
"Between July 2020 and June 2021 Saleem spent the money on a new iPhone and iMac computer, hair and beauty products, Amazon purchases, clothes, taxis, takeaways, and general lifestyle expenses.
Those general lifestyle expenses included Uber taxi rides totaling £5,800, spent in a mere eleven months, and a remarkable amount of hairstyling.
At this point, it would be shocking to learn that a BLM organizer DIDN'T steal donation money to pay for hair and beauty products.
South Park: released "Joining the Panderverse"; has not lost its fastball
I'm not going to give Wes Reviews length thoughts on Joining the Panderverse here, but it's funny. Maybe not peak South Park, but it's damn near close.
As you might expect, Joining the Panderverse is critical of both sides of the culture war, but definitely most critical of Disney for resorting to diversity ("put a chick in it and make her gay") in place of creativity. 25 years later and Matt Stone and Trey Parker remain one of the few independent-minded satirical voices in media today.
It's good. If you like South Park, you'll enjoy this episode.
Important Sports News!
TNF: The Steelers keep winning ugly; beat The Titans 20-16.
Feel like this stat says it all . . . the Steelers offense succcccks. The team isn't very good, but they keep on winning with good, opportunistic, defense and coaching.
They remind me of the Lovie Smith era Bears in a lot of ways. When they're able to keep things close, they find ways to win the game. If they have to play from behind by more than 8 points. . . they lose.
Tomlin is a magician and deserves a lot of credit for keeping this mediocre roster playing above its weight class.
The Bears: fucking suck; made a stupid fucking trade and I don't want to talk about it right now.
What? I said I didn't want to talk about it!
Seriously, if I start writing about how fucking dumb it was for the Bears to trade a 2nd round pick for 27-year-old, Montez Sweat . . . this blog will go on for another 5000 words. You don't want that. I don't want that.
Fuck this team. Let's just move on to the next subject.
Jordan Love: succccccccccks
Oh yeah, I needed that.
I tried to warn Packers fans that wanting to move on from Aaron Rodgers was fucking stupid. But they wouldn't listen. They were soooo sure that Rodgers was "holding the team back" with his antics and that he "cost them the Super Bowl" by over targeting Davante Adams.
Well, dickheads, now you're basically the Bears. Enjoy looking for bright spots in a game where Jordan Love throws for 180 yards, 1 TD and 2 INTs. Enjoy praying that your team might magically find a random, undrafted, dude who turns into the next Tony Romo. Enjoy looking at next year's QB prospects in SEPTEMBER.
Enjoy quarterback hell.
Kirk Cousins: tore his Achilles; is finally getting some respect.
This sucks. Kirk Cousins was playing the best football of his career and just finished off a three game win streak to resurrect the Vikings back after starting off 1-4. Cousins has never been a top-tier QB, but he's always been among the guys right below that tier. You can win a LOT of games with guys like Kirk Cousins (50-37 record in Minnesota)!
The media treats this tier of QBs as worthless failures. Over the past 5 years, the media has LOVED to shit on Kirk Cousins for failing to win the big game. I think I accurately described the situation in my 2023 NFL Preview: "the hate for him is so fervent that he's (somehow) underrated despite being overrated in many ways."
It would seem, that after several years of treating Kirk Cousins as a punchline, the Cousins critical media has finally decided to show him some respect.
Get well soon, Kirk. Leave Minnesota. They don't deserve you.
Jerry Thornton / Barstool Sports: SI Swimsuit's Rookie of the Year is a 56 Year Old Rocket
Of all the terrible things done to the Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Issue (men pretending to be women, obese women, uglies), the "hey, let's celebrate some hot older broads" idea was a decent innovation.
I still firmly believe that SI should discontinue to the Swimsuit Issue, this 56-year-old is very pretty and her inclusion in any era of the magazine would not have offended me.
Taylor Heinicke is a big boobs guy? Hmmm. . . I might have to reconsider my position on him being not very good at football.
Yep. I'm a Taylor Heinicke guy now. Boob guys need to stick together.
She's gorgeous, self-aware, self-effacing and actually kind of funny.
What else is there to say here?
Outkick should remember this the next time they try to bait clicks by muddying Paige's good name by associating it with a lesser influencer.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (journalism purposes):
BSO Headline Literalness Rating: lololol, yup, that's Mandy Rose (I think, I have no idea who that is), showing off her 'curves' in a 'tiny bra', 'thong' and 'stockings'.
This was a very literal BSO headline!
I have never heard of Ms. Rose until now, but I must agree with horny internet guy @andy.means who commented "You are so beautiful ❤️" on this photo.
Unfortunately, I cannot agree with @henry_grie's suggestion that Ms. Rose "[d]o fucking porn."
There is enough of that out there and it's bad for the youths.
Very Important Meme of the Week
This is a very esoteric meme that only a subgroup of the internet will understand, but I'll try to quickly explain why this is funny.
Fred (@grand_handsomer) is a University of Kentucky sports fan, has a SHITLOAD of cats (who he pretends to hate) and really hates the University of Tennessee. So, @HorseSense25, apparently, purchased this Cameo from the UT baseball coach to troll him. Again, it's esoteric, but the amount of effort that went into trolling a friend is worthy of praise and worthy of meme of the week.
Thanks for saving all those cats, Fred. 10/10.
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