We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news! We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
VERY Important MILF Feud of 2023 News!
After three weeks of intense Most Intriguing Latin Female Feud of 2023 ("MILF Feud of 2023") combat, we were due for a lull. Yes, the thirst-posting tête-à-tête between Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara has gone cold as both women dialed back on the sexy snaps, regrouping and reserving their most powerful weaponry for future battles.
That is not to say that there was NO thirst to be had, as both women did remain active on Instagram. Hayek posted an unfiltered candid, sipping cervezas with her diving instructor; her Mountainous Mexican Mommy Milkers featuring prominently.
While Vergara, who appears to have returned to LA after what seemed like a several months long vacation abroad for her birthday, shared this portrait:
On the whole, Vergara's post was the more aggressively thirsty, but we cannot ignore that it was posted as part of a promotional campaign for Toty, her vegan cosmetics line, not as part of a campaign to crush her MILF Feud adversary. For that reason, we cannot award her the victory this week.
Yes, the combatants posted thirst, eliciting responses like "Hola sexy senorita xxxx ❤️🔥😍" from tony.greenwood.52493, a horny man on Instagram, but it does feel like Salma and Sofia pulled back this week.
Accordingly, based on our investigative reporting on this thing we totally made up, this week's MILF Feud ends in an indecisive draw.
As always, we will continue to monitor The MILF Feud of 2023 for further developments.
Very Important News
Emily Ratajkowski: got ready for the beach.
I'm not a butt guy, butt (pun intended) . . . that's a nice butt.
Imagine being 13 years old and being able to find new, very thirsty, photos of all the hottest women on the planet with the tap of your finger. And the hottest women on the planet aren't being paid to post them. When I was 13, you had to hope one of these broads posed for Maxim or FHM for this kind of content and it was like, 4 photos and none of them were as revealing as the video above.
Not sure that access to such instant thirst is good for 13 year old boys. Sometimes mom and dad need to protect junior from himself, you know?
Physics: exist.
Fun story - I saw this video weeks ago and considered posting it on Flappr's twitter feed, but didn't because I thought it was too "smutty". Believe it or not, I do try and thread a very narrow needle to keep our content fun, ribald and suggestive, without having it cross over into full blown lewd and lasciviousness.
**Yes, I can hear you laughing through the computer screen. Cut that out!**
Well, anyways, it would appear that my "smut" sensor has been tuned too conservatively. Fast forward to Monday night where someone else has posted this video and EVVVVERYBODY (including some bigger accounts that follow, but rarely engage with our tweets) was tagging @flapprdotnet in replies and quote tweets.
Apparently, we have a brand and that brand is "historical documentaries and huge tits". There are certainly worse things one could be known for and I must admit that this reputation is an earned one.
Onward.
Daily Mail: Woman's VERY detailed tutorial for how to POOP secretly at a boyfriend's home takes the internet by storm
Ladies, , , do you poop? I was led to believe (and still do) that women do not perform this particular body function.
Leave it to the mainstream media to publish more fake news!
Rudy Giuliani: loves big tits; was way too horny with his ex-assistant.
There certainly is some humor here, I mean who says "come here, big tits", right? It's definitely a wild move to tell your assistant that you want to "claim [her] tits" (three times!) before casually dropping that Jewish men have smaller dicks than Italian men because Italians "use them all their lives so they get bigger".
It's an insanely bold move. It's also incredibly inappropriate. This isn't like "my boss commented that my hair looked pretty one day", Rudy's work place sexual aggressiveness would make Roger Sterling blush.
How does "America's Mayor" become the "melting hair dye, come here, big tits" guy in a 20 year period? One of the biggest falls from grace that I've seen in my lifetime. Very sad, really.
Alternate Headline: Degenerate Assholes Waste Thousands Forcing Public to Participate in Their Kink; A Nation Mourns
This was an actual headline from The Sun.
I have never watched American Pickers. I don't even know what network it airs on (feels like a Discovery Channel type faux-reality show?), but I hope that Memphis has recovered from a bee almost stinging her boob. God bless.
No Context, Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress:
I hope that most of the requests are from her parents, begging her to stop being such a whore and pleading with her to find Jesus.
Evangeline Lilly: turned 44.
See, we support the IBTC community too!
NY Post: Women aren't wearing underwear at the gym in latest viral trend: 'Khloe Kardashian told me not to'
I have more questions than answers on this issue.
To my (limited) knowledge, women's undergarments are typically very small when they go to the gym in Lululemon. They're essentially just a few scraps of fabric pieced together with a waist band. To me, it would seem like adding such a small strip of fabric between skin and leggings would not make much difference. Is it a comfort thing? Is it a . . . sanitary thing?
It's not like a thong is going to keep a fart from escaping your tights and stinking up the squat rack area.
Then again, the safest move is to always do the opposite of whatever a Kardashian recommends. So, my final decision is that I'm Team Wear Underwear To The Gym.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Update: community favorite, Courtney Knill, weighs on no-panties-gate!
Fascinating.
It wouldn't be a weekly episode of T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) if a Rupert Murdoch owned media outlet hadn't published a story about a woman whose proud that she stopped shaving her pits n' bits.
In fact, between The NY Post and The Sun, this is the EIGHTH straight week they've published a story promoting a hairy women agenda.
We will continue to cover this vile trend until they stop publishing these articles.
PLUS: Abby Shapiro is EVISCERATES the GIRL BOSSES!
Very Important Meme of the Week
What had been an article that previous referred to Navy Roberts (the grandchild Joe had, until last week, refused to acknowledge) as "Hunter's Child With Lunden Roberts", now deems her worthy of having a name.
The media correctly identified that Joe Biden only saying he has six grand kids punched a whole in his "compassionate" image. The media bullied Biden into acknowledging Navy exists by (finally) reporting on the issue. The media rewards Biden by cleaning up his internet footprint.
What had been six grand kids with names, becomes seven. A grandchild thrown overboard, returns. Comrade Stalin would be proud.
Other Important News
Donald Trump: was indicted, again, again, again and again.
Every time Joe Biden faces a week of bad press, the DOJ indicts Trump again.
Hunter's business partner, Devin Archer, is going to testify that Hunter introduced Joe to his business associates? Quick, CNN doesn't want to cover that - drop the next Trump indictment!
This is all insanely transparent. This is incredibly politicized. They're playing with fire here and the country will suffer.
What about the indictment? To my reading, it seems like most of what the DOJ is charging him for is based on protected speech under the First Amendment? Criminalizing free speech, even lies or "misinformation", seems like a bad idea!
My guess here, based on solely on how politicized the DOJ has become, is that the Biden admin wants this case to go before SCOTUS so that they will strike it down and they can use that as justification to pack the courts.
Ugly times are ahead.
Donald Trump: hired a sexy, big titted, lawyer to defend him.
Listen folks, , , I'm sure she's very good at her job.
I'm sure she came VERY VERY highly recommended from Rudy Giuliani!
The Donald's freedom is on the line, but he has not lost focus on what matters most - a large set of luscious litigation lactators (h/t @HeronCapital).
Hunter Biden: is a scumbag
The funniest thing about this clip is how CNN's Kasie Hunt is offended that Scott Jennings called Hunter a "scumbag".
Listen, honey, Hunter is a scumbag. Hunter himself knows he's a scumbag. In fact, I'd bet Hunter would agree that "scumbag" is an entirely fair and accurate way to describe him and the life he's lead.
Justin Trudeau: is getting a divorce.
You don't see many political couples get divorced. Fuck, Hillary and Bill are still somehow married (likely due to the symbiotic bond created via a blood magic sacrifice conducted at the Bohemian Grove).
Trudeau must have been up to some pretty wild shit (closeted gay?) if his wife was willing to give up this level of proximity to power.
Tablet Mag: The Obama Factor
From the article: "Yet when it came out six years ago, Rising Star was mostly ignored; as a result, its most scandalous and perhaps revelatory passages, such as Obama’s long letter to another girlfriend about his fantasies of having sex with men, read today, to people who are more familiar with the Obama myth than the historical record, like partisan bigotry." (emphasis added).
Big Mike confirmed?
The phrase “must read” gets thrown around a lot these days, but this time it’s appropriate. This article is a must read.
Caroline Downey / National Review: DeSantis-Controlled Disney Board Ends ‘Illegal and Un-American’ DEI Programs, Roles
I'm not sure that DeSantis will be our next president, his chances thus far look meh, but I do hope more governors learn from his example. You don't have to be afraid to use power to fight back against prima facie discrimination, even if that discrimination has been blessed by our media as "the good kind".
Michael Brendan Dougherty / National Review: Japan Is Disappearing
The one in which MBD shares some particularly concerning statistics out of the Land of the Rising Sun, most notably that Japan’s population declined by 800,000 in the last year and that deaths have outnumbered births in 14 straight years.
It's hard to fathom that, in this age of abundance, we'd see populations decline.
The Blaze / Logan Hall: 'Barbie' is for the boys
It's nice to see that Wesley Kushner's film commentary style has escaped the pages of Flappr and inspired others to follow suit. This is how we win.
The Washington Free Beacon: Happy Anniversary! It's Been 13 Years Since a Notorious Sex Trafficker Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
People forget that Ghislaine Maxwell attended Chelsea Clinton's wedding.
Zero Hedge: Biden Blames USA Downgrade On Trump
I'm sure it had nothing to do with all the funny money that the Biden admin pumped into the economy over the past few years.
The Other McCain: Banana Republic, U.S.A.; The Taylor Lorenz-ing of Journalism and If Trump Has Lost Ace of Spades …
From If Trump Has Lost Ace of Spades … "I stopped trying to influence Republican primaries because, despite what some people may imagine, the voters don’t seem to give a damn about the opinions of bloggers."
This is so damn true. We've moved beyond the point where voters care about facts, let alone the opinions of writers. We're a vibes country now and, for better or worse, the vibes remain with DJT (for now, at least).
Animal Magnetism (c/o RedState): Commander, the Wonder (Bite) Dog
Biting incidents or not, Major and Commander Biden are the only good Bidens.
Thompson, blog: Just Like You; Perhaps It Was Revealed To Him In A Dream and Friday Ephemera (688)
Bookmark and make David Thompson part of your weekly reading diet.
Victory Girls Blog / Darleen Click: Sunday Morning Cafe Cocktails
Darleen over at Victory Girls Blog runs her own weekly digest blog, but it's actually full of good headlines and opinions. . . rather than whatever it is that I do here.
Important News, BUT Sports
Football: is back (well, preseason football, anyways).
Nothing like a watching the back ups from two historic franchises like the New York Jets and Cleveland Browns play mistake riddled football for three hours. Really whets the pallete.
Who am I kidding? I watched nearly the whole thing. At this point in the summer, I'm so starved for NFL Football that I'd gladly watch these teams play each other in flag football, or Madden, or hide and go seek, for that matter.
It wouldn't be a Bears training camp if there weren't reports that the team's offense was struggling. Can't wait to be disappointed again!
Zach Wilson: could learn a thing or two from this 10 year-old girl.
Moving target. On a line. Smacks that (probably) corrupt politician right in the back of the dome. That throw was something special.
I'd argue that throw was more impressive than anything we've seen from Jets quarterback, Zach Wilson, (or Justin Fields for that matter) up to this point.
Clutch Points: Matt LaFleur won't blame wind for Jordan Love's struggles
Jordan Love sucks. Well, I'm pretty sure he sucks. He has to suck. After enjoying quarterback play from back-to-back Hall of Famers (and Bears destroyers), there is no way Jordan Love can not suck.
Here's my football fan experience in a nut shell: my formative years were consumed and ruined by Brett Favre "the 'Ol Gunslinger" throwing 60 yard lasers all over the field and watching fat Packers fans celebrate division title after division title. Everything since then has been consumed and ruined by Aaron Rodgers "the 'Ol SoyBoy" who was somehow even better than Brett Favre.
I've been waiting for Rodgers to leave Green Bay for 10 years. Jordan Love has to suck. I think he sucks. I also said that Aaron Rodgers sucked after he took over from Favre, but was very wrong. I've watched Love play, though and Jordan Love does appear to suck. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HE MUST SUCK.
If he doesn't suck, I will commit seppuku.
Barstool Sports: Football Guy: Wisconsin OC Phil Longo Says The Things He Loves Most After His Wife And Kids Are Slot Receivers
I love football coaches. They are among the last remaining types of men who unabashedly live "toxically" masculine lives. These maniacs walk around with a lip full of tobacco, scratch their balls in public and eat, breathe and bleed "ball".
If you hear a man refer to "football" as "ball", you're likely talking to a man who laughs at his own farts, only wears team issued sweat pants and hoodies and slept in his office last night after watching 8 hours of game film.
If you hear a man refer to "football" as "ball", you're likely talking to a football coach, the last of a dying breed.
Barstool / Jerry Thornton: Adding Insult to Injury, the Feds Slap Vince McMahon with a Search Warrant and a Subpoena as He Recovers from Spinal Surgery
It would appear that the SEC is investigating Vince for paying a female employee $3 million as the result of a consensual affair?
I mean, that's not great - but is it illegal? Did he pay the money out of company funds? If so, it seems like he paid them back? I don't know, but the Biden Admin is not above targeting Trump aligned people (Vince's wife was Trump's SBA Administrator) - so this could just be more politicization.
I think @assliken said everything that needed to be said here.
Lane "Joey Freshwater" Kiffin seems like a dude who has fully embraced his image as "Coach Poonhound". It's not an entirely un-football-guy move, you do typically see the wives of coaches post an occasional photo with their husbands (on the one day of the year they actually see them). To see Kiffin post this himself, on his own account, is a bit too soft for my taste. Not sure how this helps Ole Miss beat Bama.
His girlfriend is hot, though.
I've never heard of Katie Sigmond before. . . seems appropriate that we should investigate the literalness of this BSO headline.
You have to love the headline writers over at BSO, who, occasionally mince facts, but they do not mince words. While Katie Sigmond may not have attained "Paige Spiranac Rival" status, she does, indeed, have a massive booty.
BSO Headline Literalness Rating: This is a very literal BSO headline.
See, Tom? I told you that you didn't need to fuck Kim Kardashian! Irina Shayak is a completely suitable partner for you after splitting with Gisele. Fucking Kim Kardashian would've ruined your legacy and your rule about not consuming things that are toxic for your immune system! You'll thank me some day, Tom!
And, sorry, Bradley Cooper, you can fume all you want - you're an incredibly good looking dude and an underrated actor, but you're not Tom Fucking Brady, ya dig? When was the last time Bradley Cooper made a good movie, anyways? A Star is Born? That was like five years ago! What happened to you? Did that Gaga-gash ruin you forever?
Sorry, bro, Irina is all Tommy Football's for as long as he will have her.
Paige Spiranac: ummmm, sure, ok?!
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