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Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects - 7.5.24

It’s news. It’s sports. It’s commentary on weird shit from around the internet.

It’s Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, our weekly digest of curated links designed to keep you abreast of very important news!

We will deliver T.I.T.S. (a coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday if you subscribe to our blog!

Very Important News!

Happy Independence Day!

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That, to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

To my mind, these words rank among the most important written in the history of the world. There are no kings, nobles, and commoners. People don't come into this world with status, branded as high or low or common or royal. Or, as Jefferson would later write "mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God." Man is born with rights endowed by our creator and whatever status they earn thereafter is the byproduct of how such rights have been exercised.

The Declaration of Independence, adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, and which fit on a single piece of parchment, transcends borders and time. The document serves as a testament to the power of human will, individualism, and the pursuit of happiness - concepts that have been adopted by numerous countries and have influenced the formation of many governments. Countless people were granted the right to self-governance based upon the brilliance of Thomas Jefferson's writing in a rented home in Philadelphia.

America, fuck yeah. Hope you had a wonderful Independence Day.

God Bless America.

Remember Denise Richards? I remember Denise Richards - pre-Charlie Sheen "Tiger Blood" and "WINNING" Denise Richards, to be precise. That Denise Richards was something else. THAT Denise Richards conquered Hollywood.

Born in Downers Grove, Illinois, not too far from where I grew up in Chicago, Richards' career launched with guest appearances on shows like Saved by the Bell, Melrose Place, and 90210 until she landed her first leading role in Starship Troopers in 1997. She popped off the screen in that movie. She had a rare combination of dark features and piercing blue eyes that made it easy to forgive her character for cheating on Johnny Rico with that slimeball Zander Barcalow.

Richards followed that up with Wild Things in 1998, a movie about a high school counselor (Matt Dillon) accused of having sex with his students (Richards and Neve Campbell). I won't spoil the story for you, but the big plot reveal occurs in a scene where Dillon, Campbell and Richards meet up in a hotel and engage in a three-way, wherein Campell pours champagne on Denise Richards' naked bosoms while Dillon sucks on them. It appears I have spoiled the plot for you - Dillon is banging both of them. The film also features a particularly fascinating pool scene where Richards tries drowning Neve Campbell before eventually making out with her . . . all while Kevin Bacon films them from behind a bush.

Dear Lord, that movie was pretty fucked up. I was a kid at the time, but I don't remember people talking about how fucked up it was that this movie showed a high school counselor banging both of his students. Hmph.

Anyways, Richards' career probably peaked in 1999, when she became an official "Bond Girl", nabbing the role of Dr. Christmas Jones, an American nuclear physicist assisting Bond in his mission, in The World is Not Enough. The film sucked, though, and Richards' performance was described as "the least plausible nuclear physicist in the history of movies". At the end of the movie Bond is banging Richards' character and says "I thought Christmas only comes once a year". Very cringe. One of the worst entries in the Bond Franchise. So bad. So dumb.

After that, Richards' career cooled off considerably. She began doing more silly movies and TV before settling into Real Housewives reality TV blegh. Yet, there was a time when Richards was THE "It Girl" in Hollywood.

Oh, and she wore an American Flag bikini for the 4th of July a couple of years back. That's the theme this week - Patriotic stuff if you couldn't guess.

Thank you for taking this walk down Mammary Lane with me.

How could we forget this one? This is the bikini that started it all. Those Funbags of Freedom inspired my blog Bosomy Baywatch Beauty Bullied For Brandishing Bolt-Ons In Bikini, launched Donna's crusade against the haters and losers who said she was "too old" to wear a bikini on Instagram and led to the creation of the Donna D'Errico Milf Thirst Economy - a recurring bit on this blog for months.

It was shameful behavior by the trolls to be sure, but their folly led to a movement that encourages attractive older women to ignore body shaming Karens and post thirst on social media. This is a battle that rages on to this day. In fact, just last week, Ms. D'Errico, 56, flashed her bikini body on Instagram and sneered at trolls who mocked her for 'still' wearing two pieces, proclaiming "Yes, still wearing bikinis. Any objections? 🥰".

No, ma'am, we have no objections. We only ask that you remain a staunch defender of silver-haired smoke shows who dare to defy age and the haters. On a serious note, I do love how this storyline continues. If I had to guess, there has probably been no less than 100 blogs written about "Donna D'Errico clapping back at haters" over the past two years. It's very funny how much mileage the internet has gotten out of one Instagram post from over two years ago.

We love you, DD.

Regular News!

Despite whimpering from "The Bedwetting Brigade" (the Biden campaign's term for these people, not mine), Joe Biden is not exiting the race. First Lady McBeth, Jill Biden, and Hunter Biden (the smartest guy Joe Biden knows) are urging the family patriarch to keep going, which I am sure has nothing to do with their own personal interests.

To that I say, good for you, Joe. Don't let the haters and losers (of which there are many) tell you what to do! Ignore the 72% of voters who do not believe that you have the mental or cognitive health to serve as president! What do they know!? Who cares that your approval rating sits at 37%? Don't those ingrates know how much better you've made their lives?! I say reject the naysayers, throw on a ton of bronzer, and see this race through to the bitter end!

The Democratic Party deserves you, Joe. They deserve every bit of this experience. And, if you somehow win again in November, Americans will deserve every bit of the four years that follow!

The knives are out. People can finally talk about the thing that was previously verboten in the media. The floodgates have been breached and it is officially "Biden's clearly suffering cognitive decline, how didn't we know" season.

The same people who would've called you a conspiracy theorist a week ago are now breathlessly begging Biden to step down and let someone else take on Trump in November. They knew Biden was suffering from cognitive issues. They knew months ago. They knew this years ago. We have all known this, because we all have eyes, and ears, and are familiar with the human aging process.

So forgive me for rolling my eyes when Jake Tapper goes on CNN and says "[t]here is a pattern of democratic officials seemingly trying to convince you to not believe what you saw and what you heard with your eyes." Fuck that. You don't get to participate in a cover-up that extends back to when Biden secured the nomination in 2020 and then jump off that sinking ship like a RAT when it's politically convenient. The man never should've been the Democrat nominee and likely wouldn't have been if the media had done its job.

Yes, this shit annoys me. It's infuriating.

From the article:

"Contrary to the dissent penned by Justice Sonia Sotomayor (and joined by her fellow progressive justices, Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson), this does not place the president “above the law.” It instead recognizes that our supreme law — the Constitution — vests in Congress the power to check executive authority. And of course, presidents are just as accountable as any other American for their private misconduct."

The entirety of Twitter was buzzing about this case on Monday. Libtards were screeeeeching about how SCOTUS just made it legal for the President to Order "the Navy's Seal Team 6 to assassinate a political rival". The decision did not make Trump's J6-related cases go away (it might have strengthened the DOJ's case on some of the charges). What the decision did do was make clear that Presidents are immune for "official acts" made by the President, while in office. We want our Presidents to be vigorous executives, able to operate without the fear of criminal prosecution for every decision they make. Bombarding a President with prosecutions for his decisions or hitting administrations with injunctions would handicap every President moving forward.

This is common sense. This is also constitutionally sound! The decision recognizes that the Constitution says Congress, via its impeachment authority, is the proper way to check Executive power. Moreover, "private acts" taken by a President are not immune from prosecution (which is why the decision may not be great for Trump). So, ignore the noise, the decision is not what you're hearing on Twitter.

The one in which Robert Stacy McCain shares Nate Silver's outlook for the Democrats' "untenable" electoral predicament.

"Now, however, the same fools who led Democrats into that disaster are busy trying to convince their voters (and, perhaps more importantly, their donors) that they can somehow recover enough to win in November.

“It’s fundamentally a terrible idea to ask the public to make the guy they saw on Thursday president until he’s 86,” Silver says in his pay-walled newsletter, stating the blindingly obvious truth."

To his credit, Silver has been on the "Biden is too old" train for far longer than anyone else currently calling for him to step down. Then again, Silver was not calling for Biden to let someone else run in 2020 when he was already "Mr. Magooing through debates" and it was a possibility that he'd win and then refuse to step aside in 2024 . . . . so, a mixed bag for 'ol Nate.

David Thompson: Between The Thighs

Hmph. This sounds like a story we would cover. Perhaps we're rubbing off a bit on our friend from across the Atlantic—the Flappr Effect.

Sports! Sports! Sports!

Current Situation: The Worst Time of the Year for Sports

Football is over. Hockey is over. Basketball (for those who still enjoy the NBA) is over. That leaves us with MLB, which was ruined by Libtard nerds long ago. I say this as someone who used to love MLB. My first blogging experience was writing about baseball while in high school (deep lore!). It sucks now, though.

I just can't get into a baseball game when the outcome of any given at-bat is strikeout, walk, or home run. Yes, I understand the premise of advanced analytics. I understand that a home run is better than a single! I recognize that taking a walk is better than making an out. I appreciate that "launch angle" may lead to more strikeouts, but also lead to more home runs, which are very desirable. While I realize that teams are implementing logically sound strategies based on analytics because they increase win probabilities . . . it also makes watching baseball boring and boring baseball is no longer fun to watch.

I unironically wish that MLB teams would bring back scouts who graded players on how well they could fill out a pair of jeans or how hot their girlfriend was. YOU DON'T WANT TO DRAFT A GUY WHO DATES A KANSAS CITY SIX, HE PROBABLY HAS CONFIDENCE ISSUES! That sort of meatball shit might have led to less skill on the field, but it captured the human element that sports sorely lack these days.

This movement towards a "more informed and knowledgable fanbase" has turned sports fan debates from "who was more clutch and had more rings" into "well, analytics say that player X has a better career JIZGORP than player Y". Lame.

Michael Jordan is the greatest player of all time, much better than LeBron James. Wanna know how I know? Because I have watched both of them play. Michael Jordan was a cold-blooded assassin who refused to lose and LeBron James is a big whiny, gay, pussy who has never read past the first page of a book and needed to build super teams to carry him to his 3 titles (COVID bubble one doesn't count).

That's much more human. That's much more fun. Make Sports Meatball Again.

This is an unironically good idea and should become part of the future for all eGirl sports influencers. I would plunk a few bucks to watch Paige Spiranac play golf against other eGirls. This match would be fun, and not in a "ooooh boobies" kind of way. Truth be told, I would advise the team producing the broadcast to treat this match like a wholly legitimate competition, tone down the sexuality, and stay as far away from the Lingerie Football gimmick as possible.

Ok, you can stop laughing. **Biden Voice** I'm bein' sincere here, folks!

This type of competition, between two amateurs who are very good at their sports, but not skilled enough to be professionals, can be very engaging. It might not be "watch this every week" type of fun, but it's something people will try based on curiosity and potentially grow from there.

Matches between internet personalities is a growth market. Jake Paul (or Logan Paul, I forget which) has transitioned into boxing. His fights do big business because people are curious to see how good he can become (and silently hoping he gets his ass beat). Kirk Minihane, host of the eponymous Kirk Minihane Show, is a 50-year-old podcaster who created a basketball team earlier this year and started streaming their rec-league basketball games online. The team stinks, but it's engaging content because it's average guys (shoutout, Mutstack!) trying to grind out buckets and the show generates content based on how poorly some of its players perform.

Paige Spiranac taking on other female golfers is of the same vein. It will be nice to see Paige doing something to highlight (one of) her core competencies and compete against women of comparable skill. Put another way, sometimes it's engaging to watch non-elite people compete. When you add popular influencers to the mix, there is a built-in audience to consume the product. And if that popular influencer also happens to be one of the most beautiful women on the planet . . . well you got yourself a winnah.

Big fan of this idea. We will obviously be rooting for Paige. We hope she follows through and kicks Hailey Ostrom's ass, whomever that is.

I would have felt derelict to my journalistic duty if I had left things with "Who's that?", so I researched Ms. Ostrom and determined that Hailey is a suitable challenger for a match against Paige. Born in Bend, Oregon, this 30-year-old played collegiately at George Fox University.

After college, it appears she tried to get a tour card on the LPGA Tour, but has settled on being an influencer for the time being. Ostrom has racked up over 920K followers on Instagram, which while significantly less than Spiranac's 4M followers, is still quite impressive.

Look, we are still very much Team Paige here, but it's good to know that there are still elite-quality eGirl sports influencers out there that remain undiscovered. A deep roster of talent is critically important should our eGirl sports league stand any chance of sustained success. We may be rooting for Paige during their match, but we have also become Hailey Ostrom fans for the long haul.

We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):

Yes, yes, that's Kayla Simmons, showing off "Cleavage" (though no "Bum") in a "Tiny Bikini" in behind-the-scenes footage for a "Volleyball Shoot" she posted on social media. This is a literal sports headline.

More importantly, my work as ombudsman of the boobie-blogosphere (the "omboobsman") continues. Over the past few weeks, I have assembled fairly convincing evidence that bloggers in this space have allowed their standards to falter. Most notably, I have charged that writers at BSO have possibly resorted to using AI to draft the content of their boobie blogs. Sadly, the trend appears to have continued this week. Read the following sterile, generic, prose contained in the following introductory paragraph from the blog linked above:

"Get ready to feast your eyes on the stunning and sexy Kayla Simmons! This volleyball star has been making waves after sharing behind-the-scenes footage from recent photoshoot, where she flaunted jaw-dropping cleavage in a tiny bikini."

Now compare it to the following paragraph I asked ChatGPT to draft based upon the prompt "write a blog post about Volleyball Star Kayla Simmons Drops Volleyball Shoot BTS Showing Off Cleavage And Bum In A Tiny Bikini":

"Volleyball star and social media sensation Kayla Simmons is back at it again, turning heads and breaking the internet with her latest behind-the-scenes (BTS) footage. This time, the athletic beauty gave her fans a look at a sizzling volleyball-themed shoot where she donned a tiny bikini that left little to the imagination."

See what I mean? It's not exactly the same, but the style and flow feel like an LLM output, doesn't it? I hope I am wrong. I don't want to believe my heroes over at BSO would resort to this, but my fears do persist.

Frankly, the "World's Sexiest Volleyball Player" deserves better than ChatGPT-like blog writing. This American Patriot filmed that BTS volleyball video for Instagram while still recovering from a torn ACL. She gives of herself to make stellar social media content for the world to enjoy. The least that professionals in this space could do is to cover her exploits authentically. To me, that's not too much to ask.

Meme of the Week!

This week's winner comes to us from Flappr's Chief Legal Correspondent, @jarvis_best, for this pitch-perfect mockery of Sonia Sotomayor's dissent from United States v. Trump. In fact, this satirical take on the Wise Latina's legal reasoning was so good that hundreds of people took it seriously. If you scan the quote tweets of Jarvis' original tweet, it's riddled with posts like "Sotomayor is a 17 Magazine fan girl for the Dem party, a complete diversity hire in every way" and "[t]hat reads like the type of “literature” radicals want in elementary and junior high classrooms." from people who apparently could not discern that the excerpt was written by Jarvis, rather than Justice Sotomayor.

This meme serves as a good example of two things: 1) how people view Sotomayor's overwrought, emotional, and juvenile approach to the judiciary; and 2) how fucking dumb people are. Too many people struggle with satire on social media these days. If something seems too outlandish to be true, it is probably is a joke. Yes, this still applies even in the outlandish times we currently reside.

This meme was also just really, really, really, good. Jarvis, despite being a mean-spirited dickwad, remains one of the most clever motherfuckers on the internet. It pains me to heap praise on this degenerate, but @jarvis_best is . . . brilliant.

When asked for comment on his win this week, Mr. Best offered the following:

See what I mean? What a malignant, self-obsessed, c*nt.

Some Flappr Blogs!


All great points made, yes, even the sports points. 🙄


Jul 05

That Jarvis meme was hilarious. Ya the egirls should compete. They’d make money for sure and it’d be fun to watch. Denise Richard’s was hot but the actress who played Diz was way hotter. Have a great extended weekend 🇺🇸🇺🇸

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