Greetings again, you slobs. I KNOW what you must be thinking:
"OMG, is that Barnaby?"
"Why is Barnaby posting on Flappr after he was unceremoniously fired (again) for making a poo in the Flappr lunchroom after he overheard someone make a racist reference to "Asian Food" #StopAsianHate?!?"
Fear not, you're not hallucinating, I'm very real and I come bearing gifts.
So I am currently dating three dudes who write for Slate, Vox & The NY Times, respectively, and they're all SUPER stressing about having to write at least a dozen (each) hot take think pieces to ruin the season for everyone!
In the interest of holiday goodwill (and a desire to have my boyfriends' attention directed back towards me) I have collaborated with the techsperts at Flappr to create The Flappr Liberal Holiday Article Generator!
Just click generate, get your title and the 4,000 word woke essay writes itself from there.
It's so easy to use that even dumb conservatives like you could figure out how to make it work.
Just click *durrr*. Make Liberal Holiday Article appear *durrr*. YOU People disgust me.
Now if you'll excuse me - I need to get back to celebrating with my boys.