It is time, once again, to award the Gardener of the Year.
In the brief history of Flappr, this has become one of the more prestigious awards granted, as it is one of only a few that is regularly awarded.
Before we consider this year's winner, let us remind ourselves of the past two winners:
2020: C.H.A.Z. Antifa for "C.H.A.Z. Garden"
These first recipients stand out for their dedication to the craft of food, specifically its creation and procurement. But a gardener must be able to not only grow the food they wish, he or she must be able to distribute it to customers in a way that is economical for all parties involved.
It is in that mindset that we are proud to present Flappr's 2022 Gardener of the Year Award to: Pete Buttigieg.
No singular person has dedicated themselves to the increased income of food producers across this fine land than Farmer Pete.
When California created a mammoth shipping backlog by requiring all semis within the state to meet extremely stringent emissions and safety upgrade standards, Pete said "lmao yolo."
When trains couldn't get out of major hubs without being looted, Pete reminded us that looting creates scarcity, and scarcity would increase the profits of gardeners.
When the price of my milk increased by 200 percent and the price of my potatoes increased by 150 percent, Pete...well he didn't say anything because he was on maternity leave, despite neither he nor his husband possessing a womb--one of the traditional pre-requisites for maternity leave.
They may have called it paternity leave, but we know better.
The man truly can do it all.
God bless you, Farmer Pete, and congratulations on joining the C.H.A.Z. Antifa and Jen Psaki in this prestigious honor.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pray that my Southwest flight out in January doesn't cease to exist.