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Wes Reviews: Resident Evil: Welcome to Racoon City

A dumb story, too many characters, padded time, but throw in a few effective sequences and scares and RESIDENT EVIL: WELCOME TO RACCOON CITY is the perfect adaptation of the Resident Evil series.

In this film, Director, Johannes Roberts, bunted on an attempt to reboot the franchise. Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2 scream for a proper adaptation, but unfortunately Roberts chose a different route.

*Cackle* Stick your dick in the door, Leon. *Cackle*

In fact, the decision to, more or less, combine the two stories is the first mistake of the film. We're treated to a cast of five S.T.A.R.S. cops, the sheriff, a new recruit, the sister of a cop, an Umbrella Corp scientist, his wife, his daughter, and finally an Umbrella experiment.

In a movie with a sub 2 hour runtime, the script gives gives very little for all these characters to actually do or explore. Now, in the two games this movie is based on, there was plenty of development and story to draw from but Roberts decided to have a drifting and muddled mess instead.

Roberts insists that he wanted to recreate the tone of the games, but by that he meant the awkward comedy and now horribly dated suspense.

Video game logic is very similar to bad movie logic and I hope it never changes.

The characters spend most of the film confused instead of scared. Its not quite a Joss Whedon level of self-reference but it really bothers me that the characters don't take what's happening completely seriously.

Maybe that's a problem with the performances, though. Everyone is sort of meh to bad.

The dialogue isn't *THIS* bad, but it's close.

The best sequence in the movie, one where the sheriff is trying to flee town only to be accosted by Umbrella guards, is good because its just a rip off of Children of Men. Otherwise this movie wastes its locations.

It has all the hints of the first two games: mysterious mansion in the mountains, the police station that used to be a museum, the underground lab, etc. Then does nothing with them. No puzzles, no mystery, no nothing.

I was excited for this movie because the games its based on are fun. If you can't make a movie or games about zombie monsters fun, then you aren't worth anything.

Resident Evil is a franchise that can't find it's footing in the modern world while refusing to re-embrace its trashy roots and let go of its stupid meandering plotting.

Performances: bad

Cinematography: bad

Length: 1:45 and its still bloated

Score: who cares

Final Rating: 3/10, this movie is a waste of time.


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