Last night, Joseph Robinette Biden, dishonorable mention in Flappr's 2022 Joe Biden of the Year Award, fulfilled his constitutional duty by delivering to Congress "Information of the State of the Union."
Truthfully, a letter would have sufficed (and it used to be until that cunt, Woodrow Wilson, decided to deliver his address in person), but that's a story for another day.
Biden's latest attempt to speak before the nation was filled with lies, half-truths, malarkey and too much unintelligible hogwash.
Let's take a quick look at some of some of the biggest Biden misrepresentations delivered to the nation and laundered his allies in the media.
No, Joe Biden has not brought down gas prices.
When Donald Trump left office in January 2021, the national average price of gas was $2.59 per gallon. As of Joe Biden's SOTU speech last night, gas was . . . $3.48 a gallon, after briefly surpassing $5.00 a gallon in 2022.
No, Joe Biden has not trimmed the national deficit.
The sad reality here is that our national debt has exploded by more than 4.2 trillion during the first two years of the Biden presidency. For those of you keeping track at home, that's a record for any two-year period in U.S. history.
Yes, Joe Biden is a cuckold.
The regime media is choosing to ignore this story, but your lying eyes are not deceiving you. Last night, First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden, PhD and Second Gentleman, Doug Emhoff, shared a moment of intimacy in front of a national television audience:
There you have it, folks. Conclusive evidence that Jill Biden has cuckolded the current (nominal) President of the United States.
It does not take much to empathize with these star-crossed lovers. Jill, married to an 80 year old man who can barely muster a sentence, let alone an erection. Doug, husband to a woman renowned for her oratory skills, but having no job advancement to offer.
One can only imagine the fateful night Doug and Jill first gave into their forbidden passions. If I had to guess (I don't have to venture a guess, but will anyways), it happened on a night where Doug tried to open Kamala's office, only to discover that the door was locked (a common occurrence) and that he could hear muffled gagging sounds in the distance (also a common occurrence). Walking sullenly down the hallway, heading back to his residence at the naval observatory where he would pleasure himself to anime porn, Doug is taken with a vision, decked out in a couch cover print dress.
"Oh, Doug, not again . . . it's a small miracle that woman doesn't have permanent scarring on her knees." says Jill, with a look of genuine sympathy on her face.
"She wears kneepads, Madam President." replied Doug, in a resigned tone.
"You deserve so much better, you're a good, honest, and very handsome man." consoled, Jill. "I know that I often find myself daydreaming about your soft body and bald head when I'm supposed to be listening to intelligence briefings about ching-chong weather balloons or whatever" she quipped as her cheeks began to blush.
"Madam, President. . . I. . . I. . . can't believe that a woman of your stature would think that way about a cuckold like me!" Doug, exclaimed.
"Listen, Doug, my husband is literally r-worded, or a clone, or a lizard person, or a robot . . . I forget these days." Jill conceded, remorsefully. "Point being, I run the country, I am under considerable stress and Joey is limper than Pete Buttigieg's wrist. He. . . cannot meet my considerable appetites."
"But Dr. Jill, this feels like a bad idea. . . what if people find out?" The Second Gentleman, squeaked.
"Listen, Doug, I'm a doctor, right?"
"Of education, yes." Doug replied, almost blowing his chance.
*Jill pauses, puts her hand on her head in frustration*
"Ok, well, whatever, I'm Dr. Jill and I can tell you're suffering. Luckily for you, I know how to cure what ails you"
*Jill Biden leans in for a kiss*
/scene.
Anyways, if you made it through ALLLLL of that. . . here are the memes I promised.
Yep.
Jill has appetites.
A classic.
Yeah, this one from @grandoldmemes wins the day.
An iconic photo of MTG.
10/10
Fetterman, being (likely) unable to understand anything said during the speech last night, was probably the second luckiest guy in the room last night (with Doug Emhoff, obviously, being the luckiest).
The Hulkster swings both ways, brother.
Yes, it does look good. Ok, one more.
Relatable.
We must remember to laugh, especially during the darkest of times.
Happy Wednesday. God Bless America.