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Flappr's 2021 Sportsman Of The Year Award

For some reason, the powers that be at Flappr asked if I would like to create and hand out my very own award!

At first, I thought this offer was a prank - like how some college fraternities hold contests where the winner is the dude who brings the ugliest date to the kegger or whatever. The crew at Flappr, however, assures me that isn't a prank and that this is an actual opportunity to show off my writing skills!

"I can't believe he bought it, what an idiot!"

So, I am proud to give out the first ever Flappr Sportsman Of the Year Award!

This award is often one of the most coveted awards given out to athletes and is usually bestowed upon a player who is an amazing person both in and out of the stadium. People like Walter Payton, Giannis Antetokounmpo, and Naomi Osaka usually win for basically being amazing role models who also dominate the competition and are fun to watch.

Keeping that in mind, choosing the winner of 2021 Flappr Sportsman Of The Year Award was not a particularly difficult task. The winner(s) of this award have had to overcome endless drama and do so with a smile and unmatched professionalism, so clearly the 2021 Sportsman Of The Year should be awarded to…

Every Teammate of Lebron James!

Congrats on the win, fellas!

Yes. You read that correctly, I have awarded Lebron James’ teammates the sportsmen of the year award.

I’m sure you are wondering if I am simply confused, how on earth could they win it over him?

Well you try being his teammate.

Lebron James insists that he's well versed on issues that are politically safe and play well to progressive media audiences he knows will slurp up any narrative confirming comments he gives in interviews or on social media. Imagine being Lebron's teammate and having to reassure him that his latest IG post about <insert social justice issue here> was both "deep" and "transcendent" or else face excommunication via trade to Minnesota!

"Damn, I knew I should've liked and RT'd Lebron's tweet on food equity!"

Moreover, "King James" insists on trying to convince people he is the smartest man in the room. Like the time when he suggested to former Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey - who has a Masters Degree from MIT - that he was misinformed and needed to "educate himself" after Morey made a tweet in support of Hong Kong back in 2019. Essentially, according to Lebron, Morey needed to learn that it was a good thing that China was about to crush Hong Kong's western-style democracy in favor of a CCP-controlled police state.

Imagine being LeBron's teammate, staring at your phone, trying to think of a complimentary text to send LeBron about his comments defending communist China. That's takes dedication, that's Sportsman Of The Year material:

Yes, this man views himself as some sort of intellectual, despite the fact that he's never been photographed reading beyond the first several pages of a book:

Really, The Hunger Games was too heavy of a read for you?
Now we're going to pretend you're reading the sequel?

It is LeBron's insane level of either a) insecurity; or b) lack of self-awareness that cause him to embarrass himself like he did when he couldn't share a single, coherent, takeaway after "reading" the Autobiography of Malcolm X:

Or the time he rushed to judgment, posted an image, along with the text "YOU'RE NEXT", of an Ohio police officer that saved the life of a black girl who was about to be stabbed by another black girl charging at her with a knife.

So, some Black Lives Matter more than others, apparently. LeBron later deleted that tweet.

I could never imagine what it is like sharing a locker room with this jackass. I wouldn’t want the blame for him being a world class douche. I wouldn’t want to be asked every day by ESPN what color gum he chewed that day, or if he wears boxers or briefs, or whatever puff piece garbage they are running for him that day (seriously, find someone that loves you the way ESPN loves Lebron).

I wouldn't want to have to fight the daily urge to tell him to just. . .

It’s these reasons, and more, that have led me to name his teammates as the 2021 Sportsman Of The Year. Having to be with that arrogant, ignorant, self righteous soulless narcissistic child is something I would never wish upon my worst enemies.

On that note, I would like to thank Flappr for the opportunity to write for the world famous blog, I had a lot of fun and hope to have the opportunity to do it again.

I leave you with Lebron being dunked on by a high school kid.


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