How Abby Shapiro (and Porn) Saved My Marriage

That's what this blog supposed to be about, right? Abby Shapiro and porn. To be clear, I this is not about Abby Shapiro porn, which does not exist. Actually, just leave Abby alone, she gets enough shit from people any time she posts on social media - which is why keen observers will notice that I almost never mention her on X or in this blog anymore. She's a nice woman and doesn't deserve the onslaught of "milkers, milkers, milkers" comments in her replies.

The premise of this blog did, however, stem from a post she recently made on X. Abby was responding to a viral tweet about banning porn and another about how porn would vanish if wives "lost weight" and became their husband's "personal porn star". To wit, Abby commented:

No, no, no, that's just a joke. She did say that, but years ago. I took that clip out of context. I shouldn't have done that. Here's what Abby really said:

She's right and (and refreshingly normal) about almost everything she wrote.

Yes, when you marry someone, you are making a tacit promise that you will TRY to maintain the sexual attractiveness that led them to join this union. Likewise, if you marry someone, you are promising that you will bang them and only them on a regular basis - albeit with some understanding that the frequency may waver and likely decline as you become old, and your dick stops working. And I appreciate that Abby recognizes that husbands and wives should be intimate in "fun and engaging ways". That's called "hotel sex" and it's special because you don't have to worry about cleaning up afterwards!

She's also right about the "dangers of porn for men" but I think she somewhat misunderstands the relationship that the vast majority of men have with porn. The vast majority of men who watch porn do not do so excessively. Nor do the vast majority men desire to act out scenarios from the porn they do watch. The vast majority of men can, for lack of a better term, handle their porn.

Your average American male watches porn to facilitate sexual release and then moves on with his day. He does not watch insanely degrading acts (relative to porn at least) that are often used by people to make their arguments. He does not desire to engage in upside down, hanging from the ceiling, intercourse with his significant other. He does not watch porn as an act of infidelity. Your average American male knows porn is fake and only exists as a means to a (happy) end. Because of this, your average American male would never want his wife to be his "personal porn star" because your average American male loves his wife, does not view her as disposable and has no desire to treat her that way.

She's the mother of his children, for fuck's sake.

Yes, porn is gross, but it's also not new. Men have been spankin' it to women for time immemorial. Cro-Magons were cro-cranking their hogs to cave drawings of big tiddy Flintstone Floozies. Men are horny beings. Women are less horny beings. Women are the saucer that cools the male libido, which, left unrestrained, would lead to our downfall. We are God's creations, paired together perfectly. Put another way, if women WERE as horny as men, do you think we'd have ever built civilizations? No, we'd still be living in huts, banging each other into extinction.

I say all of this to try to explain that . . . sometimes, your average American male, just needs to get the poison out and porn is the vehicle by which that occurs. That's not intended to be an insult to or as replacement for his wife, it's a reflection of his understanding that the woman in his life does not exist merely as moist warm hole designated for his sexual gratification. Your average American male understands that his average wife or girlfriend sometimes "has a headache' or is "menstruating" or "feels gross" or "just ate Chipotle" and needs to take matters into his own hands for his own mental and physical well-being. That's all.

There are moral arguments against what I've just written, but as an average American male, I share with nothing more than the truth, ugly or not.

Now, this is not to say that porn is not dangerous. Porn, like most everything else, becomes toxic when consumed to excess. Porn has become omnipresent. It didn't used to be that way. Young men used to have to use their imaginations or find a sears lingerie catalog to indulge in their dolphin flogging pursuits. These days the most impressionable of young minds can watch two midgets peg each other from anywhere on earth, at any time, all from the palm of their hand. That's how an average American male strays from his path and becomes a degenerate gooner.

That's where this discussion and where our efforts should be targeted - young men who have grown up immersed in aggressive porn culture. These bucks have been led astray, with some believing that real life sex must imitate the porn they consume - which is now steeped in a spiral degradation that shocks the senses of an average American male in his mid-to-late thirties. That's the true danger of porn - inexperienced young men developing an addiction, fueled by bestial content that subverts reality, leads them down a path of never-ending barbaric kink and appetites that cannot be satiated by normal sex with normal women.

Those are not average American males; these men cannot handle their porn.

If we want to avoid having these misguided porn-brained become the average American male, we need to raise healthy average American males. Be a parent. Talk to your kids. Establish rules and enforce them. No cellphones until high school. Monitor what they watch. Correct bad behavior. Raise your kids to have your values and accept nothing less. That's the best antidote to this issue.

So . . . yeah, we did the whole porn discussion thing. It wasn't pretty, but hopefully it was an enlightening look at this issue from a perspective that nobody online ever considers - normal people. Thank you, Abby Shapiro.

Happy Friday. God bless you and God Bless America.