Nipple Aesthetics: A Primer on Pokies

The nipple is essential to assessing the allure of bosoms. When it comes to the beauty of a breast, nipples are as important as the size, shape, and density of a given set. This is not to say that a pair of mind-blowing brassiere busters suddenly become undesirable if the bumps around the areola (called Montgomery Tubercles, named after that lucky SOB, William Montgomery, an Irish physician and obstetrician) are a little . . . extra bumpy. No, all bosoms are amazing, but we CANNOT ignore the fact that nipple aesthetics matter! 

I mean, deep down we all know that nipple location is crucial to provide balance and composition to female human breasts, right? A pair of Delightful Dairy Doozies might turn into a duo of Disappointing Dairy Dontzies should the nipples be located too high or too low upon the breast. Picture a woman's chest like you would a human face (which I do regularly). Now imagine what that face would look like if the eyes were even with nose. That would look disturbing!

The nips are the eyes in this example. I think so, anyway, but you get the idea.

Determining the most desirable nipple location can be difficult, but here Mother Nature lends us a hand. The Golden Ratio (De Divina Proportione) has been used to define beauty for over 2500 years. It appears in various naturally occurring phenomena like the arrangement of petals on a flower, the spirals in a pinecone, the shape of seashells, and, yes, even in the proportions of the human body. As a result, studies from very reputable researchers have concluded that the ideal breast proportion is 45:55, where 45 percent of the breast should be above the nipple, and 55 percent below the nipple. Your taste may vary, but The Golden Ratio is the Road Map for Ravishing Round Mounds and rarely steers us wrong.

Unsurprisingly, Ms. Sweeney's Gargantuan Globes are Golden Ratio Perfection.

Likewise, areola elegance plays a pivotal role in determining the overall loveliness of Jubilant Julius Squeezers. The areola frames the nipple and is the most prominent element visible on the bosom. A disproportionately big areola paired with a relatively diminutive nipple is distracting—not unlike a ludicrously large teacup sitting upon a tragically tiny saucer. This may be desirable those with Avant Garde, modern, Marxist, sensibilities, but they're not my cup of tea (pun intended).

Making matters even more complicated, the preferred diameter of an areola may differ depending on the size of the breast they sit upon. Researchers suggest that the ‘rule of thirds’ should be considered when determining the proper areola aesthetic, but I believe that areola size is more art than science. Aside from overall size and density, areola dimensions are how bosoms define themselves and where they develop their unique character. And unlike nipple location, there is no "right" answer. A small breast does not necessarily benefit from even smaller areolas and nipples. Conversely, a well-placed small nipple matched with a well-tailored areola looks mouthwateringly appropriate when paired with Mammoth Mommy Milkies. As this is a subjective judgment, YMMV (Your Milker-Mindset May Vary).

There is much left to be investigated and discussed on this topic. The preferred standard for areolar shape is well settled and obvious enough - the more circular, the better. Meanwhile, the desirability of nipple puffiness is a much less discussed topic that borders on taboo. Nipple/areola pigmentation is related to one's skin color and riddled with potentially cancel-worthy pitfalls that I'm not interested in navigating just yet. And we have yet to even broach the topic of the so-called "free the nipple" campaign that lingers within the libtard underbelly of our culture. However, at least for today, I think we've covered enough of the nipple.

Much like the Majestic Mountains of Mirth upon which they are attached, nipples are an endless source of intrigue, fascination, and joy. I hope that you've found this brief primer on nipple aesthetics to be an enjoyable read because I can assure you it was enjoyable for me to write.

Moving on . . .