Hillary Clinton vs Donald Trump Part Deux. This is something I hadn't really considered, but after reading Joe Concha's piece in The Hill yesterday - I think it's something I need.
In fact, I think it's something we all need.
We cannot endure another campaign where one candidate hides away in his basement.
We need closure on the epic blood feud between The Donald and Hillary.
And, more than anything, we need to laugh again - and nothing would be funnier than more Hillary Clinton running for president again.
Be honest with yourself, you miss this:
You miss Hillary's breathless lying, her callousness, her steadfast belief that not only is she qualified to be president, but that she DESERVES to be president.
I miss Hillary Clinton randomly spazzing out while refusing to answer a question from a reporter:
I miss Hillary's open and hilariously transparent pandering to the black community:
I mean, just listen to the condescension in that clip, she really will say anything to anyone to get what she wants. What a despicable human being.
Now before you go saying that this dream reunion is nothing more than a pipe dream, take a step back and consider the options available to Democrats in 2024.
Joe Biden would be the presumptive nominee if not for the fact that he's being held together by adrenochrome, silly putty and a voodoo spell cast by Nancy Pelosi.
Moreover, 44% of DEMOCRATS don't want Joe Biden to be the nominee again in 2024 (compared to 36% who favor him). Sure, it's still early - but I wouldn't bet on two additional years of mental decline helping Biden appear MORE competent to the Democratic electorate.
Kamala Harris is an unlikeable dud. Everyone know this - as evidenced by her less popular than Dick Cheney after shooting a guy in the face approval rating of 28%. I hope Kamala runs and I hope she runs against Hillary Clinton in what will produce some of the funniest debates in recent memory.
If Kamala tries to pull the "you're a racist" shtick on Hilldawg during a debate, Hillary might actually pull out her gat right there on stage. Given how unpopular Kamala is with the American people, Hillary's gun toting antics would likely result in a precipitous jump in her polling.
Who's left? Mayo Pete? He's toxic to black voters (4 percent supported him in 2020). Beto? He's a retarded furry running for Governor of Texas on a gun control platform. Bernie is a million years old. Amy Klobuchar is the only 2020 re-tread that seems like a plausible option for the DNC, but she passed on prosecuting Derek Chauvin while serving as the Hennepin County Attorney - so she's probably fucked.
That leaves us with the immovable object, Hillary Clinton teaming up with the unstoppable force, Donald Trump - who seems certain run and win the Republican nomination in 2024 - to provide us with another 8 months of eyeball gouging terribleness.
Just think, the DNC would probably provide us with another assemblage of awful celebrities, singing in effort to elect one of the most reprehensible women in American politics:
We'd get to hear stories about how, after losing to Trump AGAIN, Hillary got shit faced and threatened to "suicide" her top aides and philandering husband.
Who knows, if we're lucky, we'll get to hear a sobbing Hillary Clinton read the speech that she would've read if she had won the 2024 election.
One thing is for sure, if Trump beats Hillary AGAIN, we should get a lot more liberal meltdowns - which might be the best argument in favor of a second Trump term.
So I say, go for it Hillary, run again, make things weird and pick O.J. Simpson as your running mate to create the deadliest Presidential ticket of all time. Give the people want they want, nay - what the people need - a rematch for the ages.
Who cares that it might result in the end of America, we all need a good laugh now and again.
Happy Thursday and God Bless America.