Dear friends, you must read this quickly before it’s taken down, as I told the editors and board of directors at Flappr that I would be doing a deep-dive, ranking the bobs of classic sitcom moms.
But that think piece did not need to be written. Everyone knows you’re not going to beat Lily Munster.
I give you exhibits A through Double D.
No, what I really want to talk about is my books.
I have written four of them now, and the next one will be out this summer. It’s a fantasy series, but it’s not THAT kind of fantasy.
The first book is called Mediocre Saviors (included for free with Kindle Unlimited). What I am going for with the books is a Game of Thrones-esque plot, with an Inglourious Basterds-esque tone, but with a Chronicles of Narnia-esque core.
If I were to compare the vibe of these books to a band, it would be Cheap Trick: not silly or a parody, but good music that cares more about having fun and being entertaining than taking itself too seriously.
Here’s the deal with the premise: Mysterious creatures known as Dregs have brought down the Great Kingdoms of the world. All mankind has been enslaved, all except for a land that’s somehow protected by an ancient tower. 400 years later, the world needs a savior.
The tale begins, as all great tales do, with an old man having diarrhea in an alley. But this is no ordinary old man diarrhea, this is the diarrhea of the Captain of the King’s Shield, and this is plot diarrhea (the best kind). Don’t worry, after Chapter One, diarrhea plays almost no major role in the story. But something BIG happens in that first chapter. Diarrhea-related.
We then follow the gradually-coalescing stories of several would-be saviors:
The drunken outlaw and the gimp
The slave and the cantankerous old bastard
The hooded assassin and the prince’s ghost
The witch and the red-eyed madman
Positive Amazon reviews for these bad boys are in the DOUBLE DIGITS (you can buy all of the books here). There has actually only been one negative review, and it was from someone who clearly didn’t actually read the book and just got mad at me on twitter.
It’s not sci-fi, ya dumb bitch. It’s fantasy. Cool guy fantasy. Get books 1-3, plus the companion book, today! Buy them!
BONUS: Runner-up for Bobs Queen is Carol Lambert, Step by Step.
NOTEWORTHY: Peggy Bundy, Married with Children.