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Fixing Joe Biden's First Year In Office

Writer: bartlebybartleby

In case you missed it, Joe Biden's first year in office has been, more or less, an unmitigated disaster.


His latest poll numbers from Quinnipiac, have Biden's approval rating at 35% approve, 54% disapprove, with support from only 28% of Hispanics and 24% from Independents. According to bearded tub of goo, Frank Luntz, that's 4 points lower than Trump's approval rating ever fell.


To put it another way, Joe Biden is less popular than The Last Jedi.


Not good and, in my opinion, it didn't have to be this way. Joe Biden could've been an extremely popular President for a country that was looking for someone. something, to bring back some level of normalcy to the country after a chaotic 5-year period that included, Russiagate, the Kavanaugh hearings, two impeachments, COVID, the J6 Riot and the unbelievably bad final season of Game of Thrones.

Seriously, fuck Bran, most worthless character on the show and he ends up as King?

What the nation yearned for was for a leader that was going to turn down the temperature and just. . . leave everyone alone. Both sides of the political divide needed space from one another, time to cool-off, sit in our rooms and scroll through photos of big butts and boobs on Instagram until we fall asleep.


That's essentially the message that Joe Biden ran on, that he was going to be a return to normalcy, that you weren't going to have to be afraid of what he said next. I didn't vote for him, but I can see why other, horribly misguided, low information, voters may have bought into what he was selling. People just wanted a chance to catch their breath and they thought the soft-spoken (lie) old man was the better option.


Despite suggesting otherwise, Joe Biden didn't take office with the intent of being a caretaker President. No, Joe Biden took office an immediately tried to become the next FDR, pushing the most progressive agenda of any President in my life time.


In proceeding as such, Biden ignored key factors that proved insurmountable in passing his agenda: a) he's always been a bumbling retard; b) he's now an older, more bumbling, retard; c) Democrats only control the House by a slim margin and only control the Senate by way of the VP's tie breaking vote; and d) two Democratic Senators stated publicly that they would not agree to norm-breaking requirements needed to pass his agenda.


Yet, Joe Biden persisted . . . and fucking embarrassed himself.


When he put his full weight behind his "Build Back Better Plan" . . . it failed, after he couldn't get Joe Manchin to vote for a deal that exceeded terms he had outlined for Chuck Schumer earlier in the year.


After going down to Capitol Hill yesterday to drum up support for his plan to federalize elections failed . . . it failed too, after he couldn't get either Kyrsten Sinema or Manchin to change their long-standing position against nuking the legislative filibuster.


You cannot expect to be FDR if you do not possess FDR-level super majorities in the House and Senate.


Now, this blog is titled "Fixing Joe Biden's First Year In Office" - so what should he have done differently?


Alright, Biden Administration, here is my Go The Fuck Away And Leave Us The Fuck Alone, You Creepy Old Potential Pedophile Strategyand I'm offering it you for free.


This is not intended to be an ENDORSEMENT of the Biden or his administration, just an opinion on what he should've done. . . which is, basically, Joe Biden should've the taken easy wins given to him and left everyone the fuck alone.


Simple, right?


In March, Biden signed a 1.9 Trillion dollar stimulus package without the help of any Republicans. Then, in November, Biden signed a 1.2 Trillion dollar infrastructure bill with the help of Republicans in both the House and the Senate.


That's a lot of fucking money (wasted, more or less) and that's all Biden needed to do legislatively in his first year of office.


Outside of that, the only thing he needed to do was put together a coherent plan to navigate the country out of the pandemic. Kids back in school, a vaccine roll-out, the economy. No unconstitutional OSHA mandates, no unconstitutional eviction moratorium, just a plan to return to normalcy.


After that we should have barely seen or heard from Joe Biden - who should've fucked off to his basement in Delaware, sniffed some kids, ate some ice cream and left the rest of us the fuck alone.

*Dramatization, may not have happened*

We didn't get that much needed breather away from politics, though. We didn't get a chance to unplug, unwind and maybe stop hating the other side for even a few minutes. We were deprived of our time to cool-off, sit in our rooms and scroll through photos of big butts and boobs on Instagram.


Instead, things have been dialed up to 11 since Biden took office. We got Afghanistan (where he could've just refused to withdraw from and 90% of the country wouldn't have cared), we got vaccine mandates, we got more masking, we got teachers unions calling on the DOJ to investigate parents, we got pitting vaccinated people against unvaccinated people, we got further away from unity . . . you know that thing Joe Biden ran an entire campaign around.


Now, I'm not so foolish to believe that this strategy would've won over the hearts and mind of the most ardent Trump supporters. After the "emotionally charged" election in 2020, there is a large segment of the population that would never "approve" of Joe Biden's performance in office.


Yes, right wing media would call Joe Biden an abdicated President, suggest that Ron Klain was actually running the country and that Democrats were already evaluating his successors - but they say that anyway (and it's true).


The bigger challenge would've been how Biden's own party would've reacted to governing towards the middle of the country. The loudest retards in the progressive caucus and the media might have soured on him a bit and criticized him for not following through with their agenda, but a capable steward can quash internal strife, especially when he's got support behind him.


And I'd be willing to bet that if Biden had followed my Go The Fuck Away And Leave Us The Fuck Alone, You Creepy Old Potential Pedophile Strategy™, that whatever loss of approval Biden suffered from lunatic progressives he would've more than made up from people in the middle and would be sitting here today with a cumulative net approval rating closer to +11 than -11.


Joe Biden didn't follow my Go The Fuck Away And Leave Us The Fuck Alone, You Creepy Old Potential Pedophile Strategy, though and people have gotten more of an opportunity to witness his feebleness, the disorganization and incompetence of his administration and how, despite what we were promised, the adults are NOT back in charge, the virus has NOT been shut down and things are not returning to normal.


So as we reach the end of Biden Year One, it is important to remember, my frens, that even though things look bad now, they're likely to get much, much worse.


Happy Friday and God Bless America.





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