Who Wears a Shirt Like This in Public?

The world is pretty wild right now, but I'm not particularly interested in talking politics today. Sure, you have approximately 14,000 migrants living under a bridge in Texas.


Yes, I know that French President, Emanuel Macron, recalled his ambassador to France and is super pissed at Joe Biden over some nuclear submarine deal.


Of course we could be talking about the seven kids the Biden administration just admitted to killing with a drone strike in Afghanistan.


But we're not talking about that stuff today. No, today we're talking about this dude deciding to wear THIS shirt, in public:

I don't even know how all of the imagery fits together. Betty Boop and Winnie-the-Pooh? Those two iconic characters never had a crossover, did they? I think I would've heard about such an historic mash-up of unlikely companions.


Then you have Betty's breasts - let's face it, folks, they're enormous and the proportions are way off from her original concept art:


Now, I'm not knocking Ms. Boop's endowment here, she's clearly packing some impressive equipment, but the artist clearly took some liberties with illustrating just how substantial her bosoms would appear once unleashed.


Then you have the Pooh man, who in this artist rendering appears to have a sexual fetish for pouring food products over his partner. Apparently, according to Urban Dictionary, this is called a sploshing fetish.

I must admit that the choice of honey here is logical, given that Mr. Pooh has a legendary appetite for all things honey. Points for accuracy there.


Now, the most important question here is - what kind of person would wear this shirt in public?


I don't know anyone who would ever own this shirt. Judging by the creases in the shirt, it looks like a new shirt - but I don't know where you could even purchase such a shirt.


I mean, did this guy have this shirt custom made?


You have to be a legendary-level degenerate to buy this shirt or have this shirt made AND then give so little fuck about what people think that you'd wear it to a baseball or soccer game or whatever.


So, good for this guy, I suppose? I'm not sure, I'm pretty confused by the whole thing. I wonder what type of woman would marry a man who adorns himself in attire featuring two cartoon characters engaging in a vulgar sex act.


I can't imagine this is a turn-on for most women, right? OR maybe this guy has discovered a secret to female attraction that remains a mystery to normal, substantially less deviant, men?


By any measure, the world is a confusing and fucked up place these days - and this shirt is still somehow, more socially appropriate than most of what these douchebags wore to the Met Gala last week:


Happy Monday and God Bless America.

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