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True Conservative™ Proudly Announces He's Voting Democrat, Again

Greetings, my name is Conrad Yates, I live in Alexandria, Virginia, I am a True Conservative and earlier today, I proudly cast my ballot for Terry McAuliffe for Governor.

I know what you're going to say - wait a second, Connie, you say you're a conservative, but you voted for Terry McAuliffe - A DEMOCRAT?!

You're absolutely fuckin' right I did! (Sorry for the profanity, I follow the Lincoln Proj guys on Twitter and have adopted their sassy personas as my own!)

Why? Because I'm not a Trumplican, I'm a True Conservative™.

You know, a True Conservative™ like Bill Kristol or Charlie Sykes - you know, the type of conservative that cares so much about conservative principles that he is willing to vote for candidates that actively campaign against and oppose those principles.

True Conservatives™ stand for things like eliminating the filibuster, packing the Supreme Court and the premise that Voter ID laws are literally Jim Crow on steroids.

That’s called preserving democracy. That's called conserving conservatism.

What you think I'd vote Glenn Youngkin, the Donald Trump clone sent by Orange Hitler himself to try and subvert democracy in the beautiful Commonwealth of Virginia? No thanks, I'm not a part of the GQP - I don't side with domestic terrorists.

I want no part of a party that includes right-wing extremists like Susan Collins, which is why I donated 150,000 dollars to the Lincoln Proj to help them run attack ads against her. Sure, Collins won by almost double digits - but my donations helped fund political ads that called Collins, who voted with the Trump administration less than any other Republican Senator, "Trump's Stooge" - so it was STILL money well spent.

I cast my vote for Terry McAuliffe, because he's a family man, someone who clearly values public education and because he's NOT a Republican.

In fact, I knew I was going to vote for Terry McAuliffe back in August, when True Conservative™ icon, Bill Kristol, endorsed him over Youngkin. When a principled man like Bill Kristol (who certainly holds NO responsibility for leading the GOP down a path toward nominating Donald Trump) lets it be known that he's voting for a Democrat (again), you know that the war on Democracy isn't over and the GQP must be stopped before it can carry out its next insurrection.

To show my support for McAuliffe, I went to a school board meeting last month to protest against the protestors that were protesting against some conservative conspiracy theory called "critical race theory".

Reid, Swalwell, Schmidt - AKA the Avengers, AKA Trump's Worst Nightmare.

Now, like Terry McAuliffe, all of my 7 children (from 5 marriages) go to private schools - but after watching Joy Reid, the following became obvious to me:

  1. critical race theory doesn't exist;

  2. if it does exist, it's not being taught in Virginia schools;

  3. if it does exist and is being taught in Virginia schools, it's necessary and good for our kids; and

  4. anyone who opposes critical race theory is racist, doesn't want slavery to be taught in schools and is actually a QAnon supporter.

After Joy and Steve helped me reach these simultaneous conclusions, it became obvious that my voice was needed, so I showed up to some random public school board meeting and called them all racists.

LMAO, I even got this one guy arrested who was screaming about how his daughter had to share the bathroom with a boy wearing a skirt or something. LOL, what a transphobe.

Yes, I saw Terry McAuliffe say that parents should have no say in the curriculum taught to their children.

Yes, I know that Terry McAuliffe supports abortion up until the moment of birth.

Yeah, I know those things are antithetical to every principle that conservatives believe in - but you know what Terry McAuliffe doesn't support? Donald Trump and his crew of fascists and insurrectionists.

If unborn children have to die just so I can own Drumpf, so be it - that‘s how much I care about conserving conservatism.

It’s why I voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, Ralph Northam in 2017 and Joe Biden in 2020 - they weren't Donald Trump.

I have an eight foot tall fence around my house, but I voted for Biden and his open border policies.

The only way True Conservatives™ like myself can support True Conservative values is to cast our votes against the people who are running to uphold those values. It's just common sense.

A vote for Glenn Youngkin is a vote for white supremacy - did you know that tiki-torch wielding Neo-Nazis showed up to a campaign event and pledged their allegiance to Glenn Youngkin last week?

What's that? You're telling me that these people weren't actual Neo-Nazis and that they were sent to this event by The Lincoln Proj in an effort to smear Glenn Youngkin?

Sorry, *chuckles to himself* I must have missed the latest conspiracy theory dished out by Tucker Carlson and Faux News - I only get my news from reputable sources, like CNN and The New York Times.

Oh. . . wait a second. . . actually, it appears that you might be correct.

Well I guess it’s funny how quickly the GQP could distinguish fake neo-Nazis from real ones. That was the point, right?

Listen, Rick Wilson liked one of my tweets six months ago. He's a stand up guy and if he thinks dressing up a black man as a Neo-Nazi is necessary to fight white supremacy - then I'm going to follow his lead.

I paid my unpaid intern 10 bucks to stand in front of Youngkin's latest Klan rally.

Can I envision a day where I vote for another Republican? Maybe, but not before the party has rid itself of Donald Trump and Trumpism - a political philosophy that applies to literally every living Republican except for True Conservatives™ like Joe Walsh, Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney.

Until then, I'm voting blue, like a True Conservative™, to elect Democrats to implement progressive policies, give the government more power and eliminate individual freedoms.

If you want to save the republic and the Republican Party, I suggest you do the same.


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