My name is Judith Ducksworth (she/her). I have an art history degree from Vassar, I am an anti-racist.
Yesterday, I was terminated from my position as a trained volunteer docent at the Chicago Art Institute.
My fire-worthy offense? Apparently, it was because I am an affluent, older, white-woman and the museum lacks "diversity".
This experience has destroyed me, I've been sobbing all day - asking myself, did I deserve this?
I mean, I am a white woman and white women have, throughout history, strategically used their tears to silence people of color.
Maybe this is somehow my comeuppance for years of exercising my wealth and position in the hierarchy of the oppressed - above the POC, but clearly below the REAL evil - White Men.
You know what? NO. I don't believe that this is MY fault.
Actually, my firing is a travesty. This is unfair. I obviously DIDN'T deserved to be treated this way. I mean I was judged by the color of my skin! What about the CONTENT OF MY CHARACTER? Does that account for nothing?
I've done everything right. I've been on the right side of history EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I mean, I think Stephen Colbert is the funniest white-cis-gendered-male to ever live.
I haven't missed an episode Maddow since that night my husband had a heart attack - and even then, I watched it the next morning online.
I even started wearing these thick rimmed, masculine-styled, glasses - just to look like her and break norms.
Don't they get it? I am down for the cause. I am down for THEIR cause, for heavens sake. When George Floyd died, I unfollowed everyone on my Instagram page who didn't post a black square.
Despite supporting Elizabeth Warren in the primaries, I voted for Biden. Twice.
Once from my residence in Kenilworth, Illinois and again from my vacation home in Traverse City, Michigan.
What did I get in return? Ingloriously terminated by a portly woman named Shonda who said "I'm going to need to axe [sic] to leave the premises, Judith" after sharing my dismay over my dismissal.
Don't they get it? Are their IQs really so low that they don't realize that I'm one of the of the GOOD guys? For what it's worth, my mother had me tested when I was a little girl and my IQ is well over the 85-102 range - [110] to be exact.
How else do you think I was admitted to the highly prestigious Vassar College? I can tell you this, Shonda DEFINITELY did not go to Vassar - she seemed more like a . . . city college type.
So no, Shonda, let me "axe" you a question - why would you fire a woman from a VOLUNTEER position at a museum?
Why would you fire a woman who paid $75,000 to have Robin DiAngelo come speak to her book club?
Why would you fire a woman who called the FBI on her neighbors after she saw them criticize critical race theory at a local school board meeting?
I thought we were on the same team, Shonda.
I don't deserve this. This is unfair.
Maybe you're too young to understand, but I'm 68 years old (I know, I don't look a day over 55, but bigram yoga does wonders :-)~~~) and when HRC became the nominee for President, an entire generation of women my age became President right along side her.
That MEANT something. I wept!
Then, after Trump colluded with the Russians and stole HER victory, I wept again on election night.
I weep a lot, actually.
Why? Because the media tells me that crying uncontrollably is what strong women do and because I'm on enough SSRIs to fell a fully grown elephant.
What, don't you support mental health? You should talk to my daughter, Becca. She's an unmarried, childless, Girl Boss who works for Pfizer. She can help you find something to help fill the void of never having grandkids (my other child, Stephen, is a birthing person that identifies as a male-two-spirit).
But I digress. Do you want to now the worst part about my untimely dismissal? It's how and why it was done. Not for one second did they stop to consider what "terminated for lacks of diversity" would mean for my reputation.
Does this STAIN on my social justice resume mean that I'm not anti-racist enough because I didn't recognize the systemic racism earlier and force change? How am I supposed to show my face at next months' book club under these circumstances?
I mean, I did just pay Dr. Kendi $100,000 to come tell the group how racist we all are, but that supposed to help us recognize our "unconscious racism". Now that I've been fired for my active role in systemic racism - I may as well show up to the meeting in a Klan hood.
I'm ruined.
This is unfair.
Did these people forget that I'm worth more than all of them combined? Actually, I'm probably worth more than all of them combined times TEN.
I could literally buy up their neighborhood, spend millions rehabbing these shitholes, increase their value exponentially and effectively evict them from their own homes by sending their property taxes through the roof! I won't, but I could.
Did these people forget that just last year, I donated to that bail fund in Minneapolis that helped secure the release of a child rapist?
Did these people forget that I donated $50,000 to the Lincoln Project because I saw them on Joy Reid?
Did these people forget that I stopped talking to my sister after she voted for Jill Stein?
Did these people forget that I almost divorced my husband because he said "Greta Thunberg is an autistic child and she shouldn't relied upon for climate expertise"?
I thought equity meant "everyone gets a chance" - that's what the TV told me. I never thought "equity" would have an affect on MY life.
I didn't deserve this.
This is unfair.
Won't someone think of Judith?