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Hey, YOU! What do you think you’re doing? Yes I’m talking to you. Why aren’t your children wearing masks? I don’t care if she’s only 3 years old, she’s not vaccinated! Until President Biden approves of giving vaccines to young children, they need to wear masks. That’s the deal: we vaccinate the kids, or they have to wear masks until cases reach ZERO. I don’t care if you don’t want to do it. I hope CPS threatens to take your kids away from you Trumpers if you don’t accept the Pfi--the vaccine.

In fact, you should be wearing a mask too. Don’t you know the Delta variant is going around? It’s both more contagious and more deadly! Yes I’ve seen the data out of the UK, why do you ask? You know what, that sounds made up, Fauci himself said it was deadlier. In fact, that’s why you should consider getting your third dose real soon. Wait, are you even vaccinated at all? What does being a healthy 30-year-old man have to do with this? It’s still extremely deadly!

Oh you had it already and it wasn’t that bad? No, antibodies from an infection don’t give you ANY protection, have you read the science? You are a literal domestic terrorist.

Hey, you there! Pablo! Oh sorry, I guess it does say Paul. I’m so sorry, I hope I didn’t offend you. I just finished Robin DiAngelo, I’m trying to be a better antiracist and ally to my Latinx hermanos and hermanas.

The path to becoming an anti-racist is fraught with racism, I can't help it.

Anyway, Pab—Paul, this man here isn’t vaccinated and he’s not wearing a mask! It says on your sign that only vaccinated people don’t need masks, and while I think we should all wear them, the least you could do is check that— I don’t care if you’re on your break, I’m the customer and—hey come back here!

*Ugh ok, Becca, just let it go, you talked about this with your therapist, you can just find his manager later.*

I'm going to need to up my SSRI dosage, I'm starting to feel the regret of never having children again.

This isn’t funny! Why am I wearing a mask? Because I don’t want to catch the Delta variant. Well of course the vaccine works, we helped develop—what I meant to say is that the science says that even if you got the vaccine you should—hey! Don’t touch my badge! Yes I work for Pfizer, but that’s not why I’m—hey wait, Officer Rao, I didn’t mean any harm please don’t--


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