With the cancelling of Dr. Seuss, I took it upon myself to pen a new children's tale that is assured to captivate young minds in a less challenging and more culturally suitable manner.
Enjoy. Or do not enjoy. I do not want to tell you what to think. I apologize for not checking my privilege. Please do not cancel me.
I AM A STICK.
I STAND IN ONE SPOT.
I CANNOT GO FOR A WALK.
OR HAVE A NICE TALK.
BECAUSE I AM A SKINNY STICK.
THAT STANDS IN ONE SPOT.
Editor’s Note: We have just received word that the characteristic "skinny” may be offensive to some readers whose body identification is “rounded” or “shapely”. We have revised this story accordingly.
I AM A SQUARE.
I STAND IN ONE PLACE.
MY SIDES ARE THE SAME.
MATH IS TO BLAME.
BECAUSE I AM JUST A SQUARE.
THAT STANDS IN ONE PLACE.
Editor’s Note: We have just received word that the depiction of a “black” square may be offensive to some readers whose racial identification is “Black” or “non-white”. We have revised this story accordingly.
I AM BLANK SPACE.
I DO NOT STAND IN ANY PLACE.
YOU CANNOT LEARN ANYTHING FROM ME.
OR BE TICKLED WITH GLEE.
BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY EMPTY SPACE.
WHEN ALL ELSE IS ERASED.
THE END
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