• Prof. James O'Flannery

The Stick That Stood In One Spot

With the cancelling of Dr. Seuss, I took it upon myself to pen a new children's tale that is assured to captivate young minds in a less challenging and more culturally suitable manner.


Enjoy. Or do not enjoy. I do not want to tell you what to think. I apologize for not checking my privilege. Please do not cancel me.




I AM A STICK.

I STAND IN ONE SPOT.


I CANNOT GO FOR A WALK.

OR HAVE A NICE TALK.


BECAUSE I AM A SKINNY STICK.

THAT STANDS IN ONE SPOT.


Editor’s Note: We have just received word that the characteristic "skinny” may be offensive to some readers whose body identification is “rounded” or “shapely”. We have revised this story accordingly.


I AM A SQUARE.

I STAND IN ONE PLACE.


MY SIDES ARE THE SAME.

MATH IS TO BLAME.


BECAUSE I AM JUST A SQUARE.

THAT STANDS IN ONE PLACE.


Editor’s Note: We have just received word that the depiction of a “black” square may be offensive to some readers whose racial identification is “Black” or “non-white”. We have revised this story accordingly.








I AM BLANK SPACE.

I DO NOT STAND IN ANY PLACE.


YOU CANNOT LEARN ANYTHING FROM ME.

OR BE TICKLED WITH GLEE.


BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY EMPTY SPACE.

WHEN ALL ELSE IS ERASED.


THE END

THINGS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU COMMENT