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The Damar Hamlin Body Double Conspiracy

Is Demar Hamlin actually dead? Are the videos and photos of him actually a body double? Is this a giant conspiracy between the NFL, P****r, his family, the doctors, all of his teammates and countless other people who have seen him alive since his injury?

No, Damar Hamlin is not dead. I mean, I don't think he's dead - I don't personally know, but I'm 99.9% sure he's alive.

If you have idea what I'm talking about, many people (too many) have begun speculating that Damar Hamlin actually died on January 2nd after collapsing on the field in Cincinnati:

Technically, Damar did die on the field that night. . . and then again at the hospital, needing to be resuscitated twice after taking a shoulder to the chest from Bengals WR, Tee Higgins.

But he's been alive since! He's even posted on social media and appeared, in person, at the Bills game last Sunday. . . where he appeared with his face covered, in a blizzard, and which only convinced more people that this was a body double. . .

This insane conspiracy theory has escalated to the point where Kyle Brandt, an employee of NFL Network, asked Bills Quarterback Josh Allen whether or not Damar Hamlin was actually at the game on Sunday:

Which, of course, just created more speculation that video was edited or that Josh Allen only said he "thinks it was Damar".

It's clear that people are very intrigued by this conspiracy. Everyone saw the video of him collapsed on the field. Then everyone prayed for good news. Then the photos released of Damar have been just suspect enough that tinfoil hat people and ironic shit posters have been able to sew enough doubt to take this conspiracy to the next level, roping in normies who like to connect dots and some mainstream media outlets (who I don't think realize how serious some people are about this theory).

Just how big has the conspiracy gotten? Well, if you search "Damar Hamlin" into Google, here are are the suggested searches populated by algorithm:

It's funny, for sure, but I do not believe that Damar Hamlin is dead and that what we're seeing is a body double. Philadelphia Eagles Running Back, Miles Sanders, posted a video of himself facetiming with Damar Hamlin two weeks ago, where you can clearly see Damar's face.

That's not a body double.

Look, this young man has been through a lot the past three weeks. Give him and his family a break.

If you unironically believe in the body double conspiracy, I recommend you put down your phone, go outside, touch some grass and all that.

Besides, the truth is that Damar Hamlin was cloned after dying at the hospital (vaccine related?!?). You're not looking at a body double, it's a clone, you idiots!

Damar admitted as much on his own Twitter account this past Sunday:

Damar Hamlin is not dead. The mad scientists at P****r (potentially in connection with Bill G***s) created a perfect genetic replicant of Damar Hamlin, who has now replaced him.

Case closed. You're welcome.

Happy Wednesday and God Bless America.

1 comentario

27 ene 2023

The only way you can be really certain is if you stroke his penis. Its magic. Rub that penis and it will grant you the wish of answering one question. And its proof positive that rubbing penises really works. Now all you have to do is think of a question ... who alive has the longest penis on earth? Yep, its Damar Hamlin. Penises tell no lies.

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