A renowned sage was known to his disciples as the Jester. This man, whose name has been lost to the ravages of time, was the first to observe a fundamental truth: we live in a Society. Whenever the citizens of mighty civilizations have forgotten this profound insight, they became witnesses to the collapse of all order and morality. Sumer, Ancient Egypt, Rome—all of these great powers succumbed to the tempestuous Will of Society. The supreme force that is Society has punished human hubris again and again. Ignorance is no protection against it. Now we are at risk of suffering its blows.
We, as Americans, are living during a pivotal moment of history. We have both the capacity to recall the wisdom of the Jester and to act on its implications. We all perceive that Society has begun to metamorphosize. In light of these facts, this author urges all people to work to guide the transformation of Society to our advantage, lest it become a hungry predator instead of a docile beast. Below you will find advice on how to navigate and mold the reality of our changing Society as it takes its first steps.
1. Don’t moan about roaming warlords on twitter, become one.
While the plague ravages our country and turns people against each other, the Republic has broken down. Feudalism is the name of the game, and power determines who will own land and who will work the soil. It behooves you, dear reader, to take advantage of the state of our Society. For instance, you could quite easily transform a golf course into a valuable tract of farmland. All you will have to do is defeat the boomer chieftain who rules your local golf course. Bring a sturdy shield and expect to be bombarded by projectiles for at least 24 hours. When your quarry runs out of golf balls, the land is as good as yours. He will retreat, and you will find yourself a lord of a new fiefdom.
2. Memorize as many youtube tutorials as you can before the internet stops working.
Do you know how to farm? Can you fix a simple engine? Are you prepared to wield the katana that has been sitting unused in your office? If you have answered any of these questions with “no” you are in danger of being cucked. For everything there is a season, and now is the season of preparing to manage your new fiefdom.
3. Ignore e-celebs
Very straightforward tip here: these people will be eaten first when shit gets real.
Finally, prepare for the coming of the False Jokers. Many charlatans will attempt to claim the authority of the Final Punchline. It is these people who will be responsible for the turmoil associated with the waxing and waning of Society. This author will do everything that can be done to identify these rogues. In the meantime, consider the advice that has been given, and prepare for the dire things to come. -Soy