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The Modern-Day Freak Show

Not too long ago man would line up for hours just to catch a glimpse of the mysterious BEARDED WOMAN or the wondrous TATTOOED MAN.

Children hid behind corners and peered through intertwined fingers as they watched a beautiful young woman on stage transform into a wild beast, bursting through its cage and rushing towards the crowd as the curtains dropped.

These traveling freak shows gained popularity throughout the 19th and 20th centuries, thanks to circuses, amusement parks, and dime museums. An expanding middle class with disposable income found interest in these shows as an escape from their work lives.

Sound familiar?

Now we find ourselves in the year 2021 where political correctness has ruined the freak shows of old. It’s “not nice” to laugh at a fat woman with more facial hair than Brian Stelter. It’s “insensitive” to point out that man’s very large nose. You’re a “racist” if you want to look at an albino dwarf.

Fear not, because Netflix has announced a new show sure to please use brainless masses. SEXY BEASTS is the latest and greatest the 21st century has to offer the dating scene. Beautiful singles sit down with other beautiful singles in the hopes of finding true love. The twist? Every person on the show is disguised by prosthetics and heavy makeup.

Total freak show.

Reality TV has taken wild turns over the last 20-some years. We’ve gone from SURVIVOR to REAL HOUSEWIVES to TOP CHEF. Before Joe Rogan became famous for his 12-hour podcasts, he had crazy hot blondes eating bull penis for cash and our entertainment!

We no longer have to load the family in the car and head to the crowded circus to view freaks; all we have to do now is turn on the television and we find this:

A woman in dolphin makeup. A guy dressed as a panda. Competing for each other's love.

What more could a red-blooded family with time to spare ask for? In fact, I say we need to take this further. Watching a couple of freaks dressed in weird outfits do their best impress one another is played out. Who hasn't seen their local pride parade? I demand physical challenges. I'm thinking AMERICAN GLADIATOR but with dolphinized humans. Now that's entertainment!

Presumably they all go on dates with each other in a reality-drama spin off show.

Until then, we'll have to settle for SEXY BEASTS. Don't get me wrong, it'll still be worth watching to see who the devil freak ends up with. After all, my local bearded lady is married and expecting her fifth kid this November! Taking that into consideration, who could blame these desperate singles for taking such drastic measures to meet their one true love? Have you seen what’s out there?


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