Your Daily Horoscope 12.23.20

In these times of uncertainty, we're all looking for answers. Some of us look to the Good Book, some of us look to the bottle, some of us look within, while a portion of us look to the stars. Accordingly, please adorn yourself with your most power healing crystal necklace, harness your chi, sacrifice a goat and enjoy your daily horoscope.

Dec 23, 2020 - The element of water predominates today. You will likely be aware of it by the strong tides of feeling in your household. Some family members may be unhappy. They may need more independence or look to you for more attention and affection. It's hard to strike the right balance, as you will discover. Do your best to satisfy everyone, making sure that your own needs don't get overlooked. Ok, when we say do your "best" to satisfy "everyone" . . . we're exaggerating a little bit. For example, tomorrow is Christmas Eve and if you have Liberals in your family, tomorrow is a wonderful opportunity to remind them that the election was stolen by Venezuela, China, the Illuminati and the Deep State. Wear your MAGA hat. In fact, wear a MAGA tuxedo if you have one. Tell them that you will never recognize Joe Biden as a legitimate president and that if they voted for him, they supported a pedophile and that God will judge them. If things get heated, find the biggest, heaviest, present you can and chuck it at the wall - bonus points if you can put a hole in the wall. In the midst of the chaos, head for the exit - but make sure that as you open the door, you look back at everyone, trying to make direct contact with as many of them as possible, and shout "Kraken Released, Motherfucker!", slamming the door behind you. Remember, you need to make sure your own needs don't get overlooked.


Namaste and God Bless America.


BONUS ZEN LAST KINGDOM HYPE Video:

I love the show, The Last Kingdom, and my creative juices have been flowing lately while working on Flappr Publishing's first eBook (being released today!). So last night my lizard brain connected the show's main protagonist, a Saxon raised as a Dane, named Uhtred, son of Uhtred, with the song "Dirty Money" by Diddy (ft. Skyler Grey). When I get the bug in my brain, I cannot get it out, so I spent the better part of an hour making this extremely unnecessary, over-stylized and ridiculous parody of the type of hype videos you see on YouTube. If you've seen this show, you might get a kick out of this silly video. If not, you can appreciate the level of autism that went into making something so pointless. Regardless, we should all strive to be more like Uhtred, son of Uhtred, a man who has endured tragedy around every turn in life, but remains steadfast in his mission to destroy his enemies, repay the blood debt owed to him when his father was killed and reclaim his birthright - Bebbanburg. Be Uhtred.


Double Namaste and God Bless Bebbanburg.

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©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib