YOUR Daily Horoscope - 1.4.21

In these times of uncertainty, we're all looking for answers. Some of us look to the Good Book, some of us look to the bottle, some of us look within, while a portion of us look to the stars. Accordingly, please adorn yourself with your most power healing crystal necklace, harness your chi, sacrifice a goat and enjoy YOUR daily horoscope. Are you wondering what zodiac sign this is aligned to? Good question. It's YOUR daily horoscope, meaning it's aligned to YOUR zodiac sign, so stop thinking and start reading:

Jan 4, 2021 - Don't sweat the small stuff. You may feel like something is restricting your otherwise light, witty nature, but don't worry about it. Things probably seem worse than they really are. Trust in yourself. Relations with others may not be at their best, and it may seem like your feelings are being squeezed through the ringer. Keep your chin up and work to get things done right the first time. Actually, you should sweat the small stuff. Ignore everything I just said. Life is insane right now and you should completely obsess over everything. Things are probably WORSE than they seem, if we're being honest. I mean, we just elected a guy who likes to sniff kids . . . are we just supposed to ignore that? I'm not ignoring that, he's a FUCKING KID SNIFFER! <insert pizza emoji> <insert pizza emoji> <insert pizza emoji> <insert side-eyes emoji>! We have an election tomorrow for the fate of the fucking Senate that might actually give unified government power to the Kid Sniffer and his sidekick - Socialist McTakeYourGuns. If the Progs win both races tomorrow (which is looking more and more likely), they can push through court packing and the Green New Deal. THATS FUCKING BAD! There is a lot of small stuff to sweat, so start fucking sweating you fucking dolt!

Namaste and God Bless America!