• KyCocaineBear

The X-Files Election

Let me tell you about a TV show from my youth about two plucky FBI agents – a man with the last name of Mulder and a woman with the last name of Scully. They investigated cases called X-files (also the name of the show) which are cases that are seemingly inexplicable to explain with modern science or forensics. It basically started as a police procedural with a paranormal bent to it that ended up running for nine seasons. It was tense and interesting. It could be amusing at times. There was always the question of when Mulder and Scully were finally gonna get it on because it was obvious they each had a case of the hots for the other.

(All conservatives pre-election - “lol *snort* Biden’s the best they could do?”)


Mulder was called “Spooky Mulder” by his FBI buddies because he truly believed that aliens were responsible for the disappearance of his sister when they were both little. They thought he was a crank and gave him an office in the basement. Scully was first partnered with him to have someone more rooted in reality to watch over him. He and Scully each episode would investigate a strange case with Mulder coming up with some wild theory while Scully would search for a more grounded and reasonable explanation.


(All conservatives the morning after the election – “We’re winning!”)


Mulder had a sign in his office that said “I want to believe”. It was an iconic item on the show and I’m pretty sure I had one on the wall of one of my dorm rooms. It spoke to Mulder’s hopeful desire that one day he could break through the shrouded conspiracy of the world and discover the truth of what lurked in the shadows. It was a belief that the mysteries of the world were answerable if you looked hard enough. It’s also a reference to when Mulder was a youthful and innocent kid that was a dreamer. It’s easier to believe that aliens took your sister than the more pedestrian and normal explanation that her death was pointless and she was more likely in a shallow grave a few miles away.

(All conservatives a couple days after the election - “Those totals are looking a little off”)


The show pretty much had the entirety of UFO lore in it. Roswell, alien abductions, a government that was aware of the aliens but was keeping their existence secret were all obvious plot points used in the show. Shadowy groups like The Syndicate were introduced. Characters like The Smoking Man started appearing. The clues about who they were and what their real motivations were slowly dripped out in small amounts over a few seasons. The shows mottoes were “The Truth is Out There” and “Trust No One” and the show’s aura of mystery and suspense was great.


(All conservatives a week after the election - “WTF? Are they really trying to do this shit?”)


Unfortunately, by the last couple seasons of the show it was clear they had no idea where they were going with the story line and they were off the rails as happens when you have writers that can’t pull a complicated story arc together. I don’t know who was writing at the time but it might not have even been their fault. There were just too many crazy, disparate ends that still needed to be tied together to finish the story line. How do you finish up a show when its main arc is aliens are going to invade, colonize the earth, and a few select humans will have power as elites over the other human?


I wanted to write this piece because there’s a lot of overlap in how X-Files jumped the shark and how the story line of the 2020 election fraud did. Yes, I want to believe, too. I want to believe there is some big nefarious fraud out there that’s going to be outed in a big way and then we’ll all celebrate. I don’t trust anyone, either. There is a huge level of disinformation on Twitter and the news. And yes, I also believe the truth is out there. All the mottoes of the X-Files apply here. Unfortunately, the truth is out there and it’s most likely that a bunch of people went out, voted for Joe Biden, and went home to smoke a joint. We’re being told that a kraken is going to be released. Really? Don’t you think it’s a little late in the game to think this is going to happen? It’s been over 2 weeks – how are these last few threads going to be tied together?


My advice? Be happy with the down ballot results. It’s going to be a razor thin majority for the Democrats in the House. We’ll most likely keep control of the Senate. We redistrict next year and should retake the House in 2022. Stop obsessing over Trump and trying to follow every news tidbit because seriously, if you don’t you’ll end up like this guy below.


(All conservatives two weeks later - “Oh just put me out of my fucking misery already!”)


THINGS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU COMMENT

  • Facebook
  • Instagram

©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib