The Joy of Life: A Simian Perspective

You humans are an interesting species. You have made yourselves masters of a planet despite physical limitations which prevent you from being the best natural hunters and yet all it seems to do is bring you misery. In my travels through the universe I never encountered a dumber ‘smart' animal than the humans. What confounds me and the other galaxy hopping primates is why your species seemingly wants to be so angry and afraid?

This past orbit around the sun, the thing you call a year, is the clearest evidence that you species is as you say “bat shit insane”. Many of you have allowed yourselves to be confined to your domiciles of your own free will because you are afraid of getting sick or even worse because you see it as virtuous suffering to protect others of your species. The irony is, especially for those who feel they are being heroic for staying quarantined, that those places without being locked down are no worse, in many cases are actually better, in terms of the virus than those who have subjected themselves to draconian measures.

Now the humans are fighting over how to make life better for themselves. Even the one human to transcend her Earthly body and visit the rest of the universe in astral projection form is all worked up about something your species calls stimulus.

You know what would be the easiest way to make your lives better? Quit worrying about the virus or how other humans are living out their existence and just live your own. You claim to be the highest form of primate but the way you spend your lives tells the rest of us that you are actually the lowest.

Instead of worrying about society, a virus, or trying to seem like a better human than your neighbor you should just enjoy a laugh

Spend time with a loved one

Enjoy a pleasant pastime

Or just have a drink with a friend

For these are the things that make one a happy little primate

Focusing on external sources of angst is the most human of qualities and completely self defeating. The source of your misery isn’t the people who refuse to wear a mask or social distance, it isn’t the draconian governments that try to impose those measures, it’s not the one percent, immigrants (legal or illegal), men, women, people of color, or whitey. No, the source of your unhappiness is in the end yourself. If you are unhappy, change or ignore the things that make you unhappy. Any species that accepts and focuses on what makes it miserable is going to turn out like humanity. Yes even your fellow primates

When Ape becomes like man