I came to, finding myself handcuffed to a rather comfortable king size bed. Far from the first time this had occurred in my life. Normally in this situation I am titillated at the thought of discovering which lovely lady or ladies has left me in the predicament. Any hopes of finding a curious college co-ed and a cougar in bed with me were quickly dashed when I heard the plaintive wail of Bobcat coming from down the hall. While some might have mistaken the wail for nothing more than usual S&M play my trained ear knew that Bobcat was being tortured and not in a fun way.
It was just then that I had remembered the horrific thing I had seen just before I blacked out. Chuck and Nancy had obviously been taken over by the same evil force that had corrupted Kami’s mind. It was right that I looked across the room and saw Kami smiling back at me.
“Look who is finally awake” Kami said with an evil laugh “you’ve been asleep for weeks” (this explains the time jump. Big whoop wanna fight about it?)
“Well at least you put me in a comfortable bed. What the fuck are you people doing to Bobcat?”
“Don’t you worry about Bobcat we are taking excellent care of him” she said sillily “What you should be concerned about is your future. You could join us Nero. We will win and when we do you don’t want to be our enemy”
“Are you listening to yourself Kami?” I pleaded “Thinly veiled cliched threats are so beneath you”
“Oh Nero you know cliches are what sell” she said moving toward me in a seductive manner. She was behaving as if every word and movement had been written out by a disenchanted Hollywood screenwriter hoping to win accolades from the Entertainment Industrial Complex.
Her motives were clearly to seduce me into joining her side. She was certainly dressed for the part taking all her cues from late 80’s and early 90’s Hollywood neo-noir. Her actions had become as predictable as the jokes in Chuck Lorrie sit-com. I knew I could use this to my advantage.
“Kami my friend please help me take off this mask. If we are going to do this I want to look upon you with my own eyes” I said, doing my best to sound sincere.
“Of course my dear friend. I have missed looking into those piercing blue eyes of an ice dragon” she replied, moving the bed and starting to remove my mask. She then uncuffed me, poured me a glass of bourbon and left the bottle. What Kami didn’t know is that removing my mask would send a signal to the Angels alerting them to the fact that I was in danger. I only had to hope that they were awake and not too hungover. Now I just had to buy time.
“There is the face I remember” she purred “Still as handsome as ever”
She was really good at this part of the game. Willie Brown stood no chance when we set up the honey trap all those years ago. Fortunately for me and the world I have built up an immunity to manipulative seduction techniques over the years.
“Okay Kami what is all this about?”
“You don’t need to know the details Nero. You just need to know that we win” she said as she ran her finger down my chest scratching ever so slightly. A weaker man would have fallen for this, seriously just ask Willie, but not I.
“You know I am not that easy” I declared in a booming baritone “if you want me on your side you are going to have to tell me exactly what is going on”
“Dammit Nero” she complained “You aren’t going to get me with that commanding voice. I am in charge here”
“Kami look at me!” I said authoritatively “I am not opposed to joining you but I need know what the end game is”
Just then she looked at me and we made eye contact. I knew right then I had I her. Not even the strongest woman can resist these blue eyes and strong deep voice.
“Fine” she said feigning frustration “It’s about making the world a better place for the smartest and most sophisticated of humanity”.
Just as I suspected a few simple seduction techniques straight out the James Bond playbook would have her spilling her guts about the master plan here and giving the Angels enough time to come to my rescue.
“Smartest and most sophisticated? What does that even mean” I inquired
“Intellectuals, artists, deep thinkers Nero. Those who know what is better for the people than the people do” she went on “The American people have used their freedom all wrong so we must take away their choices to make their lives better.”
“People still have a right to vote Kami. How are you going to get them to vote against their best interests?” I asked
“Through fear silly” she laughed “Make them so afraid of things like a viruses or climate change that they give us unlimited authority to do what must be done”
“Sure that will work on some but many if not most just aren’t that scared”
“Those who aren’t scared we will demonize. We will declare that they are racist, that they are selfish, that they are uneducated, we will make them the villains” She cackled as if Hill-Dawg had possessed her. “We will separate them from the rest of the country and slowly take away their will to fight” she said turning back to look at me.
“You see dear Nero this is nothing new. We have been working on it for years. Look at what we have done to the great unifying factor in this nation, your beloved game of Football” she laughed trying to break me down by hitting me where it hurt most “We first tried to end the game based on safety but the foolish Americans just kept watching anyway. Even with the over-hyped CTE studies we couldn’t bring about it’s demise so we tried something new. We used the same old honeypot scheme that I used on Willie to make a rising NFL star think it was his idea to start protesting the national anthem. Thus hurting the league’s standing in the heartland. Of course we didn’t count on him being so foolish as to opt out of his contract and refuse to sign on as a backup anywhere so his power to cause chaos was diminished.”
She continued “We tried to have him sue the NFL and which made little headway and the staged tryout was a disaster. We were afraid that all of our planning was for naught when we were giving a gift from our Chinese partners. Yes Nero the Rona was all part of our grand scheme to ruin America. Think about what it has done. Because of the Rona we not only have people scared of going outside and have them assaulting people not wearing masks but we have done serious damage to the great unifying factor in this country”
“You see the lock downs we encouraged through our special agents known as Karens have raised the anxiety level in the nation to the point that anything would push it over the edge” she explained “so when a man who wasn’t in good health and had taken Fentanyl died while in the custody of police who were following the procedures we instructed them to follow a grand opportunity arose” She said pouring herself a martini from the bar in the room as I was pouring the last glass of bourbon from the bottle she left me.
“So what you are saying” I interjected “ is that your cabal is using all of these events to secure power?”
“Of course we are Nero” she said joyfully “You know we can never let a good crisis go to waste and now things are events are just multiplying on their own. Who would have ever imagined that professional athletes would be celebrating the name of a man who was violating a personal protection order to keep him away from the woman he repeatedly sexually assaulted? I certainly wouldn’t have. Now the NFL’s tv ratings are sinking. The Big 10 still hasn’t decided to resume their season it is all falling into place”
“What Kami, what is falling into place?” I asked
“With the demise of sports and with people being locked in their homes the only thing left for them to do is watch the programming created by their intellectual betters on Netflix or HBOMAX” she cackled.
“That’s what this is all about?” I asked perplexed “Supporting the failing Entertainment Industrial Complex? You go through all of this instead of just producing things that people actually want to watch?”
“The American people don’t know what quality entertainment is Nero!” she yelled “They are no better than slugs! They eat their burgers and pizza, drive their gas guzzling cars, watch their favorite teams play, all while ignoring the hard work that our top chefs, film makers, and electric car engineers put into making the world a better place” she was losing her cool I hoped that my back up would be here shortly.
“The American people have shown time and again that they cannot choose correctly so we have to take that choice from them for their own good” she said looking back at me like I was down to my last breath “You understand that don’t you?”
Kami began to walk to me with an ominous look on her face as I finished the last glass from the bottle. Just as she approached the bed the main riff to the Damn Yankees hit “Don’t Tread On Me” played in the distance…..
…...To Be Continued