Taking a Dump-ling

Apparently, in case you were not aware, only actual Asians can write about dumplings and noodles.


I've made Asian dumplings, the greatest chefs in the world make Asian dumplings, they have their own recipes and they write cookbooks, and oh snap, some of them are not Asian. The color of one's skin does not entitle or prohibit one from making dumplings. The color of one's skin does not mean that someone is disrespecting the food or the cuisine by making it - in fact, the author of this book (who I suspect is making BANK from all this free publicity!) apparently attended cooking school in, wait for it. . . . China!


Got that? She went to a cooking school, in CHYNA, named the Lanzhou Noodle School:

So, if there is mystic level of appreciation required to write a book about fucking dumplings, this Pippa broad probably qualifies.


Hey Roslyn, why aren't you trying to fuck with this bald bastard?


Zimmern? THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY ASIAN TO ME!


That's because he's Jewish, and according to his Wikipedia - he regularly regularly speaks to professional associations like Chefs to the Chinese Chefs National Committee and was treated an honored guest of the People's Republic of China, traveling, lecturing, and giving demonstrations on Chinese food in the fall of 2002.


He went to China to teach people about Chinese cuisine. This racist motherfucker. Just kidding, I like this dude a lot. I like his recipes. I like that he's been through some shit, and managed to turn his life around, reminds me of me.


Moreover, Asian dumplings are NOT the only kind of dumplings. Eastern European grammas make dumplings to go with Paprikash. I know a Hungarian guy that was more than happy to share his recipe with me, and he wasn’t even mad that I’m Italian. He brought me special paprika so I could try it. I learned how to make eggrolls from my son's best friend, a black dude from Flint, Michigan. They are fucking amazing. My Puerto Rican friend and I message each other all the time sharing recipes. There are people I know that I don't even like and we bond over food.


You see, in the food community, you know, people who eat food and make food and enjoy food, its commonplace for folks of all cultures to share their recipes with each other, chefs travel the world to learn how to make different things. and nobody is offended, so why the fuck are you?


Before we answer that, lets start with who the fuck are you?



There are a lot of good solid reasons to seek therapy, this might not be one of them. Don’t worry Rosie, Mommy is gonna straighten you out right now. It's gonna suck, but its for your own good.


If you're so twisted up because a lady with a love for dumplings and a knack for cooking wrote a dumpling book but isn't Asian, sounds like the problem is YOU.


You are a person who can dish it out (food pun intended) but cannot take it. YOU ARE A BULLY.


Put this in your brain: being offended is your choice.


You say you are a culture writer, and as such I would think that would make you a person who wants to learn about other cultures and share your experiences, moving the reader towards a greater understanding of people who don't look like them or live like them. If you can't appreciate that, then maybe it's time for a new career.


I know a noodle place that's hiring.


I guess what this comes back to for me is that - food is literally the thing that we can all agree on, it is the common ground. Sharing recipes, techniques, flavors, cuisines is way of sharing a piece of each other and making the tent bigger, not smaller. The concept that only certain people have the right to profit from such endeavors is mind numbingly stupid and we are living through a moral panic that we all need to hope ends sooner, rather than later. If we can't all partake in food, then what the fuck do we have left?




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