Old Man With Nipple Piercings Revealed To Be A Creep

If you haven't been around the internet today, New York Attorney General, Letitia James, revealed the findings of an investigation into sexual harassment accusations against New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo:

The findings? Basically, the report paints Andrew Cuomo of being one of the worst kinds of harassers imaginable, namely that he acted insanely inappropriate (even criminally) and then used his position of power to intimidate anyone who dared to come forward against him.


Some of the findings set forth in the 165 page report include: touching a female state trooper's stomach and then running his finger down her back, grabbing his executive assistant's butt while taking a selfie and also grabbing her breast inside of her blouse at the Governor's mansion months later and also leaking to the press confidential internal documents in effort to retaliate against one of the accusers.


Yeah, he's an all-time scumbag (and this is aside from the fact that he signed an executive order that may have resulted in the deaths of thousands of people in nursing homes). But seriously, look at this guy - what did you expect?

I'm sorry, but a 63 year old man with what looks like nipple piercings should've been an obvious red flag to anyone and everyone. I'm not trying to kink shame here, but dudes with nipple piercings tend to be into some wild shit - namely BDSM type wild shit (again, no kink shaming, but it's wild shit). I mean, if you're 63 and your nipples are pierced, it is not a fashion statement, it is likely because you like when chicks (or dudes) play with your pierced nipples during weird sex play.

So when Cuomo walked in to that press conference last year, his hard pierced-looking nipples proudly on display, you should've known that something hidden beneath the surface with "Handsy Andy." If you're a 63 year old dude, you don't just get your nipples pierced one drunken weekend with the boys in Vegas. No, pierced nipples on a 63 year old man is a whole life style and suggests this dude spends inordinate amounts of time thinking about how to get his rocks off. It should come as little surprise that this alleged pervert couldn't keep his hands to himself.


Now, will anything happen to Cuomo as a result of this new report? Well, Joe Biden, who was accused of sexually assaulting a staff member himself, said back in March that Andrew Cuomo should resign if sexual allegations were confirmed and that Cuomo would "probably end up being prosecuted, too":

Cuomo himself had this to say back in 2013, when NY Assemblyman, Vito Lopez, was accused of sexually harassing two women:

So it will be interesting to see if Cuomo believes in the standard he once championed and resign, or if he will just wait out the news cycle and hope that everyone's interest shifts when the inevitable next "controversy" pops up. My guess? It'll be the latter.


At least we will always have clips of these clowns slobbering all over "Gov Love" while he was running around, nipples pierced, (allegedly) groping women:

Until next time. Happy Tuesday and God Bless America.

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