Michelle Obama Suffering From 'Low Grade Depression' Due to Trump; Pandemic

According to Michelle Obama on The Michelle Obama Podcast, Michelle Obama is feeling a little blue these days (via Yahoo):


“There have been periods throughout this quarantine, where I just have felt too low,” Obama said on Wednesday’s episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast. “You know, I've gone through those emotional highs and lows that I think everybody feels, where you just don't feel yourself, and... there's been a week or so where I had to surrender to that, and not be so hard on myself. And say, you know what, you’re just not feeling that treadmill right now.”
“It is unusual and it is, you know, it’s a direct result of just being out of, out of body, out of mind. And spiritually, these are not, they are not fulfilling times,” Obama said. “So I, I know that I am dealing with some form of low-grade depression. Not just because of the quarantine, but because of the racial strife, and just seeing this administration, watching the hypocrisy of it, day in and day out, is dispiriting.”

I am calling in a favor to help me with this tragic news.


I grew up in Chicago.


I am a Chicago Bears fan.


The Chicago Bears have not had any good Quarterbacks in my life time.


Jay Cutler was one of those not good Quarterbacks.


Jay Cutler is, however, a legendary asshole (his only redeeming quality, tbh).


Jay Cutler once did this while in Chicago (watch):


So, Michelle, on behalf of Americans everywhere - Americans dealing with dead loved ones, Americans who have lost their jobs, Americans who are trying to save their homes (while you enjoy your new $12 million dollar estate in Martha's Vineyard), Americans who's businesses were burned down during the "peaceful protests", Americans that recently learned that most of their kids will be learning by sitting in front of computers in stead of sitting in a classroom, Americans that legitimately suffer from regular 'non-low-grade-depression and Americans with ACTUAL things to ACTUALLY feel depressed about:






God bless you, America.


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Mathew Foldi is a Lib