top of page

Meming Free Crack Pipes

Earlier this week, in one of those "holy shit, this has to be satire" moments, the Washington Free Beacon reported that the Biden Administration is funding a $30 million grant program that will provide funds to nonprofits and local governments to provide safe "smoking kits/supplies" to people addicted to drugs.

According to the Beacon, they confirmed with a spokesperson with HHS - the department overseeing these funds - that these smoking kits would include taxpayer funded pipes that would likely be used to smoke crack or crystal meth or whatever else people smoke these days - but SAFER!

Once this news got out, Republicans pounced, seized and spotlighted this issue, much to the dismay of people who want to hand out free crack pipes to people to help make smoking crack a safer endeavor.

By the end of yesterday, presumably as a result of the terrible optics of government-issued crack pipes (I do not believe the Free Beacon lied about their reporting), HHS Secretary, Xavier Becerra, issued a statement that clarifying, that "no federal funding will be used directly or through subsequent reimbursement of grantees to put pipes in safe smoking kits."

Yet, even the AP admits that "safe smoking kits" sometimes include crack pipes. . . and frankly it would seem that if you're going to fund "safe smoking kits" a crack pipe seems like accessory for a safer, more equitable, crack smoking experience.

But that's all beside the point - the real question here is why the government would ever use taxpayer money to provide drug paraphernalia to people with substance abuse problems?

The answer is equity, right?

This seems like a particularly pernicious and stupid thing to do, especially right now given that more than 100,000 Americans lost their lives to drug overdoses over the past year (the most ever, by the way).

At least part of the basis for this program appears to the Biden Administration's "comprehensive approach to advancing equity for all, including people of color and others who have been historically underserved, marginalized, and adversely affected by persistent poverty and inequality." Or to put it more bluntly, the Biden Administration believes that giving drug paraphernalia to minorities will help them . . . stop doing drugs? I guess? I don't know, but according to HHS these minority groups will be given preference when it comes to the free "safe smoking kits" to smoke their crack and free syringes to shoot the heroin into their arms.

"The government is going to give crack pipes to black people" sounds like a 1980s conspiracy theory from Al Sharpton.

Now? It’s equity.

To me at least, handing out tools of self-destruction seems like admitting defeat, admitting that we cannot help these people, that they have no dignity and that the best we can offer is easier access to "safer" methods of transmitting poison into their bodies.

To me at least, that sounds like failure. That's just me though!

Oh well, you came here for the MEMES (though, I often lure you in with the promise of memes, just so I can use the opportunity to make a bigger point) so let's review some of the best on this holy Free Crack Pipe Thursday:

Hey, that's mine! Awesome, I'm so glad that I thought my own meme was worthy of sharing.

This photo is the gift that keeps on giving. It never gets old.

Buy! Buy! Buy!

Honestly, this blog could've just been all @MidnightMitch memes, dude was on fire.

You might have to zoom in on these tweets, but please do . . . devastating take down.

Too bad you won't have any teeth left to eat the hot dog :-(

Ok, last one.

Hey, that's also a meme I made for this website! Awesome, I'm so glad that I thought a meme I made for a website that I operate, edit and control was worthy of sharing.

Sometimes, we need to laugh to help stave off the tears.

Happy Thursday and God Bless America.


bottom of page