• Burnout

Libs are Trying to Ruin Our Anthem

Truth be told, I’m not our national anthem’s biggest fan. As a piece of music, it pales in comparison to the anthems of Kenya, Japan, and Nepal (Nepal has two, a good one and a lousy one), which simply have more of the gravitas you would expect from an anthem. Of course, if you or your children grew up with Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia, you could listen to all the anthems and noticed a trend: The awesomeness of one’s anthem is often inversely proportional to the prosperity of one’s nation.

As a patriotic rallying point, however, nothing beats ours. I mean, come on:

That beats the snot out of whatever the hell anthem China has.

Our anthem is a reflection of our nation: Imperfect and sometimes messy, but ultimately a greater source of success and pride than most anyone else. This, of course, meant that eventually some jerk would act in bad faith and try to cancel it.

That jerk was Yahoo, and specifically its music editor, Lyndsey Parker.

Parker and those she interviews in her screed take issue with the fact that the anthem was written by Francis Scott Key. I am not going to go into the history here, but suffice it to say that claims Key wasn’t exactly a nice guy aren’t necessarily unfounded.

Parker and her interviewees will scream and cry that this isn’t about wanting to unmake America, or about a lack of patriotism. I know, because of this quote from the story: “The issue is not Black people's patriotism. I mean, there's very few folk that are as patriotic as African-Americans,” says Powell.

I’ll ignore the blatant pander at the end and address the trickier, and frankly more important, part at the beginning of that quote.

Parker and her interviewee are not wrong if their comments are taken at face value. There certainly is no problem with all black citizens’ patriotism. There is nothing inherently wrong with black citizens at all, actually, because despite their obfuscation, this is not a racial issue. It’s a Year Zero issue.

Far Leftists like Parker, and journos in general, want to purge everything that is American because--and this bears repeating despite my having said it several times already on this site--Leftism can only destroy. It cannot create.

The problem isn't with a race, it's with an ideology. An awful, America-hating, freedom-hating, life-hating, ideology that wants to ruin everything because it is incapable of creating anything other than misery.

And the question is obviously in bad faith, because a possible replacement named later is John Lennon’s “Imagine” which is not a good piece of music, has nothing to do with the nation or national pride, and was written by a man who--while not a slave holder--was certainly problematic in his own right.

In an effort to show what a good faith proposal would look like, I have provided some actual ideas for replacement anthems. Note that I do not endorse any of these--I want to keep the anthem as is--but these suggestions would have been at least believable as having been made in good faith: “America the Beautiful” - Our own Philosoraptor suggested this earlier this morning, and it would have to be a front runner. My personal favorite is the Ray Charles version, which you can hear by clicking the link. (Please do not click any links until you finish reading; Flapper needs the $$$ from your eyes.)

“Battle Cry of Freedom” - This Civil War era song would be another fine candidate. The Union and Confederacy each had their own versions, and it’s actually a beautiful piece of music. I’ve embedded the southern version here because it’s a little better musically and the girl singing it has some seriously impressive pipes. Rework the lyrics a little to remove “Dixie” and the reference to the southern cross and you’d really have something.

“Columbia, Gem of the Ocean” - The visage of Columbia is one of the great lost parts of American culture which should be brought back. Long before Uncle Sam was lecherously leering at us, Columbia was the personification of America, and she did a damn fine job of it. I’ve included a full orchestral version here.

“God Bless the U.S.A.” - If we must throw decorum to the wind and replace the anthem with a pop song, the only acceptable answer is Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” which at least fits most of the general criteria of an anthem.

That this article even had a chance to be written is sad and preposterous. But if we’re cancelling things just because the person who created them wasn’t a good person, I can take comfort in knowing that I’ll never be subjected to another summer of stupid, unwatchable comic book movies.


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©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib