Elon Musk and Twitter have a deal to sell the platform to the South African-born tech genius, and Progressives are losing. their goddamned. minds.
They’re so furious you’d think Donald Trump just nuked their avocado toast farms and bought enough shares of Starbucks to donate half of the cost of their eight-dollar frappuccinos to fund Putin’s war.
The potential return of Trump is their biggest fear, but for a cult of sky-screaming karens who still can’t keep the Cheetoh out of their mouths (literally, too), getting the mastermind of MAGA back on Twitter should be cause for celebration — or at least a triple-masked Zoom party (don’t invite Jeffrey Toobin).
Trump has lived rent-free in Liberals’ heads for years. What better catharsis than to rant about the new offensive things he says after a year of having to dredge up old conspiracies?
It’s not all about Trump, of course. The Communist Left has been following the Saul Alinsky playbook to a T: Doxxing Conservatives, cancelling critics, banning COVID vaccine data, and censoring Hunter laptop stories lest they expose the Biden family for what it is. All of these actions were justified as necessary evils in their goal to bring about the Revolution. But their Berlin Wall of censorship is about to fall.
When Progressives say they “support alternative views,” what they mean is they oppose traditional views. Abolishing free speech was a necessary step to making society so miserable that they would literally try anything. Misery was Communism’s only chance.
The Left whinged upon learning that the most successful African-American in history was White. It’s a stake in the heart to see his use his billions in wealth to buy a social media platform. They’re self-immolating over Musk calling himself a “free speech absolutist.”
Shaun King, for example — the he/him version of Rachel Dolezal — claimed that Musk’s purchase of Twitter was motivated by “White power.”
A New York Times reporter said a Twitter employee reached out to say “I feel like I’m going to throw up.. I rly don’t want to work for a company owned by Elon Musk.”
Roger Simon of Politico tweeted, “If I had 44 billion and 1 dollars, I’d buy Elon Musk a brain. Not that he’d know how to use it.” (Political commentary apparently requires a much higher IQ than launching space rockets, building flame throwers, founding PayPal, and making the first electric car that didn’t look like a potato.)
The common theme of these hot takes is that all of them are ad hominem. Musk hasn't shared much about his plans to change Twitter (except he believes in free speech, hates bots and wants an open algorithm) and they losin' they minds.
If Twitter is going to stop banning non-Liberal talking points, Liberals will have to step up their game and start arguing policy on its merits. Considering the intellectual capacity of your average gender studies major, that will be detrimental to the movement.
But Liberal threats to leave the platform (and their jobs) in opposition to Musk are no more serious than Hollywood stars who promised to leave the U.S. when Trump got elected. Misery loves company, and Twitter is about to become Yelp on steroids.
No unmarriageable Benzo-binging purple-hair could look her clowder of cats in the face if zhe/zer deserted the righteous mission of braying obscenities at Conservatives online.
Unless Musk bans pronouns — which a free speech absolutist won’t, much to the chagrin of the intersectional martyrs of incel Internet culture—the fifth-wave feminists fighting the Patriarchy won’t be jumping ship to start their own platform anytime soon. They wouldn’t know how, for one, but more importantly, who would they scream-tweet at if they didn’t have Conservatives?
So despite their hand-wringing, Liberals are here to say.
And we welcome them. The proliferation of reason in society depends on open debate of important issues. Social media platforms should no more impose ideological restrictions than beauty standards or weight limits (imagine the stock plunge).
The truth is, Liberals are screeching in opposition to free speech because Liberals screech about everything.
They’re not offended that people will be able to say “All Lives Matter” or “If masks work, why don’t they?” They’re offended because being offended is all they know how to be.