Let America Be America

We are the nation equivalent of poor white trash that got rich. For all intents and purposes we are the Beverly Hillbillies. The United States was never going to be part of polite society. We would always offend the more civilized countries with our cocky strides and musky odors. While we are not the country to have over for tea we are the country you want to have your back when it gets into a fight. Sure we may look at the high society countries, France and England, with derision but they were still our friends and only we got to pick on our friends. So when the neighborhood bully picked on them we kicked his ass like any good white trash friend would. This was a wonderful symbiotic relationship that worked for a century or more.

America IRL

Along the way something terrible happened. Suddenly the more cosmopolitan parts of the country became more influenced by the snobbish friends across the pond. This caused them to be embarrassed by their cousins who would rather go mudding in four wheelers than sit through a play, or build a bond fire and blast the latest country album than sit through a symphony.


No matter how much the people in the cosmopolitan parts of the country want the middle to change it won't and it shouldn't have to. It's always going to want it's guns, it's muscle cars, and it's inexpensive lagers. The middle of the country will always love Guy Fieri and think Anthony Bourdain was a pompous jackass, it will always watch football and think soccer is for pussies, and all of this is alright because it's who they are.

Guy Fieri Is America
The Future Nero Wants

As long those in the cosmopolitan areas don't try and make the heart of America into them, those in the heart of the nation would never do the reverse, and just let them be who they are they will have your back. The minute someone fucks with the cosmopolitan areas, Canada I got my eye on you, the middle of the country will kick their ass just like it did for Europe. However if you keep looking down on them, criticizing their culture, trying to force them to be like you they will keep electing the Donald Trump's of the world just to piss you off. If you are nice to them and don't threaten their way of life they will go back to voting for whichever candidate they would rather have a beer with which means the presidency will likely switch parties every eight years again otherwise it will be Kid Rock following Trump in 2024.


To those in the Cosmopolitan areas I conclude this by pointing out that whether you like it or not the middle of the country will always be best represented by this gif



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©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib