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John McAfee: Legends Never Die

I came here today not to bury John David McAfee but to praise him. Legends need not be buried because legends never die. Nobody in the 21st century quite embodied the triumph of the American spirit like John McAfee. In McAfee we had a man who ran for President on a platform of not governing while on the run from the U.S, Government over tax issues while living on a modern day pirate ship. You cannot get more American than that.


In an era where so many are so afraid of dying they never truly experience the great joy of life John McAfee was an outlier. In 2012 McAfee was deported from Guatemala, where he was hiding from murder charges brought by the government of Belize, and landed in Miami. His first night there he picked up a prostitute named Janice and spent the night with her. A year later they were married and remained married until his passing today. These are the actions of true legend not those of a mortal man.


John McAfee refused in life to give into the rules that society tried to place on him. With the exception of the truly incredulous charges regarding the death of Gregory Faull on his property in Belize did so without causing harm to anyone. In the end his downfall came from resisting the Federal Government which is the most American thing a person can do.


I choose not to dwell on how he died though but to celebrate how he lived. To John McAfee life was but a series of adventures and experiences. Similarly to Hunter S. Thompson McAfee grabbed life by balls and lived it at full speed. Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll, with a side of firearms defined both men. In “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” Thompson used the phrase “One of god’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die” in describing “Dr. Gonzo” that phrase seems fitting for John McAfee.


As far as I am concerned John, Hunter Thompson, and Harambe are doing shots in the afterlife right now and laughing at the humans following the rules of society. I for one am going to do my best to live in a manner that honor the memory of John Fucking McAfee and I encourage you all to do so as well. Here is a training video to show you how it is done.



In all likelihood John died just as he lived - by his own choice. There is however always another possibility...


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