• Burnout

In-N-Out Shows Why Our Culture Sucks Now

A good burger is pretty enjoyable. Most fast-food burgers aren't great, though some are definitely better than others. Yours truly has been all over this fine land, and rest assured the best fast-food burger is at Whataburger; although the best burger available for purchase anywhere is at Miner-Dunn, located at 8940 Indianapolis Blvd., in Highland, IN. (If you order your meal "deluxe" you get a side of orange sherbet for dessert; well worth it.)


That's just one person's opinion, however, and like with any food purchase the validity of that opinion is subjective. In fact, with any food purchase, there are only two real questions one has to ask: 1. What am I getting and what am I willing to pay for what I'm getting?

2. How long am I willing to wait for said item? This ends up becoming an interesting exercise in broader cultural values. How much people are willing to pay for something, or how long they are willing to wait for it, can tell us about what a society values.


Ladies and Gentlemen, we suck.

That the Aurora, CO, Police Department said this so nicely is astounding.


They should have said something more like, oh, maybe: "GO SUPPORT A DIFFERENT RESTAURANT YOU FAT IDIOTS! IN-N-OUT WILL STILL BE HERE NEXT WEEK WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"


People don't even wait 12 hours to line up for Black Friday. That's right, Aurora, CO, literally values some mediocre fast food burger more than their own money.


People used to wait 12 hours to do things like see war heroes or go to church. Now we apparently wait 12 hours for greasy meat.


In-N-Out isn't even very good. It's not bad or anything--we're not talking Jack-In-The-Box here--but it's really nothing special either.


In-N-Out is a cultural calling card for people who have no personality. In-N-Out is a food themed Instagram post for women who are physically 10s, but with personalities that make them extremely unfuckable.


And now, apparently, In-N-Out is a symbol of what America has become: A bunch of fat, stupid families covered in tattoos, waiting longer to get an underwhelming burger than they would to watch their kid's football game, just because a bunch of airheads on social media said they liked the burgers.


In-N-Out blows.


Our culture blows.


Take me back to the 1830s and leave me be.

THINGS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU COMMENT

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©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib