• Nero

Fuck Tofu and Why I am Going to Have That Third Steak After All

The mainstream media's war on the American way of life marches on, unhindered and without mercy. When the media isn't making wildly unjust and unverified attacks at governors who are on the 'wrong team,' they continue to manipulate readers/viewers into douchebaggery using white liberal guilt. The later is perfectly displayed in this latest opinion piece by the Failing New York Times:

Of course Twitter had a lot to say about it, as We Were Promised Zombies! parapharsed the great Charlton Heston:

Fuzzy Dunlop went back to the classic to make his point:

Stop Making Sense made way too much sense here:

The Red Headed Libertarian made this extremely valid point:

This is a continued attack on basic human rights, like the right to devour as much FUCKING MEAT AS YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE! Humans need to eat animal products, if you doubt that - just spend some time with vegan and see how miserable they make you (no, I don't make my own clothes from hemp, you asshole!).

I wasn't sure what to think, so I started DIGGING and DIGGING and . . . I think I found the culprit(s). YES, you guessed it . . . this is all part of a nefarious plot to make all humans as weak as the weakest libs so the species can be controlled by the Crab People. BUT, crabs don't have hands, so they needed help. But who?

Who do we ALL know that loves tofu and hates meat? I hate to say it, but I think I found the traitor:

If this is not a Foldi-crab people alliance, how else do you explain the following tweets pushing such a pro-plant agenda?

When asked for comment on his Tofu loving ways and his alleged affiliation (perhaps COLLUSION) with the crab people, @matthewfoldi did not respond. Very convenient.

Think that I'm alone in my "fuck tofu" crusade? Look no further than this terrified mother, ON MOTHER'S DAY no less, pleading with her son to get off the "fu."

We STAN @Bonnie_Glick at Flappr

What we need is a program like D.A.R.E. to take up this cause and educate children on how Tofu is a gateway food to veganism. I already have the slogan for them "Tofu, NOT. EVEN. ONCE."

Stay safe out there!