Horny-Ass Gorilla Eats Box Lunch At Bronx Zoo

Flappr is a sex-positive blog, we don't kink shame here, but just look at this very bonk-worthy gorilla "Whispering to Venus" in front of shocked on-lookers at the Bronx Zoo.

Man, what a wild fucking scene.


All of it. That Gorilla was really "Yodeling in The Canyon" like a seasoned, gorilla-p*ssy-eating-professional. Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I'd write - and, now having written it, I am filled with regret.


But just check out what the Gorillas were up to - one second they're both chilling:


and the next, he's caressing her gorilla head and laying her on her back to allow the "Pearl Diving" to commence:

and then the magic starts. . .


Damn, that's graphic.


I mean, look at the way she holds his gorilla-head as he "Tickles the Anchovy", these two love-birds must watch way too much porn together or something.


In a way, though, it's kind of fascinating. Not in a Cenk Uyghur pleasuring a horse should not be legal sense (don't you dare put that on me), but in the sense that you can see how much we share with our brethren on the evolutionary tree. They like to get their rocks off just like we do!


Whether we realize it or not, we are animals and connected to and with other animals on the planet, with mammals (primates especially) being the closest of kin.


Remember Kiki, the mama-Gorilla who bonded with a mama-human over their newborns? It is undeniable that we share a bond.

One of the more touching videos I've seen in 2021, really pretty remarkable.


But back to the exhibitionist apes at hand - it sure looks like they liked having an audience. It looks like lady-ape was even making eye contact with people behind the glass, as if to say "yeah, you like that? Too bad, this carpet munching mammal is mine." That's disgusting. What two apes do in the privacy of their own habitat is their own business, but when you bring it out in public - you cross a line.


And what's with doing this in broad daylight? What are they trying to prove? Be like normal mammals and perform such activities at night, after watching an episode of Real Housewives of the Congo and eating a bowl of ice cream together. You know, THE WAY GOD INTENDED!!!


Then there's the matter of this ape and how much he's fucking things up for other dude-mammals around the globe. Was this a special occasion, her birthday or an anniversary, perhaps? If not, and he was "Pruning the Orchid" just on a whim, then he's put all other dude-mammals in a serious predicament - will non-primate-mammal-females see this and start demanding more frequent "Clam-Jousting" sessions?


Guess that wouldn't be the worst thing ever, but still - this is a moment where you need to think beyond yourself, Mr. Ape. It's all about strategy and leverage, if dude-mammals are going to offer up more frequent "cunnilingual encounters," we should've at least demanded something in return.


Oh well, cheers to these two lovebirds and their oral adventures, I suppose. They should've taken it back to the gorilla den, but seeing such acts IS how some people learn about the birds and the bees:

And with that, I close this blog on gorillas "Lip-Synching to the Furry-Fueled Jukebox" having found a way to weave in no less than 9 euphemisms for performing oral sex on a woman.


What an accomplishment


Happy Monday and God Bless America.




THINGS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU COMMENT