An expensive week all around as none of us can continue to afford feeding ourselves at the grocery store. Why not take some of the best medicine, laughter?
Join me (@mannurfa), Steve (sdamja1), Dutch (@gaylittlewiener), and Micks (@sir_micks_alot).
Burnout: Had no idea ducks were immune to COVID Dutch: Kinda bigoted towards Ducks, no? Burnout: "Up Next on 'The Reid Out': Duck Lives Matter." Micks: “I’ve had Covid 6 times and 5 vaccines.” “In this analogy, you’re a dodo.” Steve: We should rename the game “duck duck stroke”
Burnout: Even money says the manager is a Libertarian. Steve: I just wonder how much Alabama owner paid for 12 year olds. Dutch: Come to find out, the "12yos" ranged in age from 22-48 and consisted of DEI staff who identified as 12. Steve: OMG. It's in Montgomery. *Bart Inserts 8000 editor’s note* Burnout: I'm sure most of them were Haitian and if the Clinton Foundation has taught us anything, it's that abusing Haitian people is okay. Micks: Is this grooming? Steve: Would you rather work in a factory at 12 or go to school in Selma? Steve: If John Lewis were alive today, he’d be getting donations from Hyundai. The Hyundai Pettus Bridge.
Dutch: Depends. Are they oozing blood or spurting? Am I in good clothes? Micks: I carry around tampons in case I meet one. Steve: We have to wait to call the ambulance so we don’t miss the nurse TikTok. Burnout: I was going to say nothing, but if I combine your answers I get that we owe a bleeding stranger a delayed change of nurses. And somehow I think that's better.
Steve: I can’t believe people would take advantage of people using fake money. Dutch: All those drug dealers and hookers gon' be pissed their payments bounce. Burnout: I, for one, am shocked--shocked I say--that a bunch of currencies backed by the full faith and credit of the World of Warcraft have resulted in people losing all their money.
Dutch: I purposely stopped washing my hands in summer 2020, so there’s that. Micks: Obviously it’s The Vaccine™️ Steve: I avoided COVID by avoiding the press.
Dutch: Walking is a notable exercise utilized by many modern Indians. Burnout: How about by Ichabhodi Crainschwarma here? Micks: No mention as to the veracity of his suspicions, curious... Burnout: Dude it's India. It's like Mad Max over there. But with suped up elephants instead of cars. Dutch: Sounds like he Calcutta his wife’s head off! Steve: And so, the mystery of Taylor Lorenz is solved.
Steve: Leave it to the British to walk into an array of fast moving metal. “He won’t jump…oh shit…” Steve: Was Pinochet doing it wrong? Dutch: "No... We won’t hang you.. oh look! The Queen! Run say hi!" - Pinochet Steve: Hanged, drawn and quartered in under five seconds. New record for the crown. Dutch: Probably just legs continuing to walk for a few seconds. Nerve endings. Steve: Does a Brit run around for thirty seconds after losing their head or is that just Vietnamese? Burnout: I don't know about that, but I do know that Jack Fenton is the Babe Ruth, the Gordie Howe, the Tom Brady, and the Mario Andretti of stupid ways to die. Bartleby from out of nowhere: “Hey choppa you have a loicense for those propellas?” *is decapitated* That's all for this week. And remember, if you're living in London, don't forget: Bin that knife!