Harvard Extends Streak of Years Without a Quality Graduate to 15
I have an adult job for adults. Two of them actually. And I volunteer at an animal shelter. And I write here.
The point is: I’m out and about fairly frequently, and in none of these capacities am I allowed to run around saying that I’m going to stab people.
Claira Janover received a degree from the Cambridge Massachusetts Young Adult Day Care Center, formerly known as Harvard. After that, she went to work at a company called Deloitte. Deloitte is a kind of “Financial Services Walmart” offering everything from auditing and tax consultation, to financial and risk advisory and even running a think tank on government reform. You’ll note that I started this paragraph in the past tense, and then committed a literary no-no and shifted to the present.
This is because Claira Janover no longer works for Deloitte. You see, she made a video on the Chinese Spying and Cultural Destruction App TikTok, where she said she was going to stab anyone who told her that all lives matter.
There are so many things to unpack here.
First: Adults do not use TikTok. I think social media in general hints of childishness, but TikTok has zero value and honestly should be grounds for termination from any job offering set salaries, 401ks, pensions, or even full time hours flipping burgers at the Frisch’s Big Boy. It’s designed by China and run by China so that China can spy on our kids and rot their minds.
Second: Stabbing is not a whoopsie. It’s generally frowned upon in the western hemisphere, except for when the micronation of CHOP existed. They seemed okay with it, and look where they are now.
Third: In her post firing tear fest, she unleashed this gem which our own Nero got to me:
In my normal job, I have a lot of say in who gets hired. It’s a responsibility I take pretty seriously. I can assure you that I get resumes and cover letters with this same tone and same theme all the time. They don’t call me names or anything, but they talk about how they’re going to change the world. They use words like “indelible” where words like “indelible” shouldn’t be used.
These people are not called for an interview. They are not mentally equipped to do the job. They are unrealistic in what they as individuals can do, and what they as individuals bring to an organization.
This site (Flappr) mentions Minions, people loosely banded together under a shared respect for the Twitter user known as ComfortablySmug. I like Smug. I’m actually flattered that he follows me. But I’m not a minion. At best, I’m minion adjacent.
At heart, I’ll always be a MORON. A denizen of AoSHQ. Ace is one of my political heroes. And as such, this entire story makes me smile. The left is being forced to live by their own rules. It’s delicious. It’s why--for all the destruction it has caused--I’ve never opposed the #MeToo movement. Let the wolves run wild, and let the carnage fall where it may.
Onto the mailbag:
Pookie provides an alternative headline to this or any other related article.
Donna reminds all of us that Liquid-Paper-White Chicks were being crazy long before anyone else was.
Of course, speaking of knives, Byrns reminds us that All Knives Matter. No word on if Claira will get cut up over that pun.
Jen has been watching “Ancient Aliens”, I assume before it gets cancelled, and reminds us that invading intergalactic reptilians are one of mankind’s greatest threats.
Croc reminds us that Sheryl Crow once had a career. Combine that with the fact that Sheryl Crow is a woman, and Claira Jensen has *two* things in common with a Grammy winner!
Matty slices to the quick of this issue, just like my favorite account on Twitter: OJ Simpson.
L2C, baby! This is the kind of pointed commentary the mailbag is for!
Lord of the Fleas rounds us out by showing that there’s a silver lining in all of this.
Until next time, friends!