So I watched about 2.5 innings of last night's Congressional Baseball Game.
It was kind of fun?
Now, I know some of you see Republicans and Democrats participating in this slap and tickle fest and recoil at the concept.
This sentiment is captured adeptly by our friend, Logan Hall, from The Daily Caller:
Yeah, I see what he's saying here.
Watching the lizard people trade fist bumps mere hours after they just took turns calling each other literal Nazis DOES expose how our politics is a menagerie of bullshit.
Maybe I'm just too much of a romantic at heart, but it was nice to see a level of reptilian civility during these uncivil times. People doing normal people stuff still holds value to me, what can I say?
So put down that negativity vape, Logan, and enjoy the spectacle even if just for an evening (we love you, Logan).
Here are some of the highlights:
1) Jimmy Panetta, Democrat from California, slides like an absolute dickhead.
A good rule of thumb when it comes to sliding, you don't want to use your face.
2) Jon Ossoff got beaned in the head.
The mousy Senator from Georgia took a ball off the noggin last night.
Ossoff also pitched for the Democrats in relief and didn't give up a run, but his throws seem a little, I dunno limp wristed?
Nonetheless, his pitching did appear effeminate. . . I mean effective!
3) Nancy Pelosi was caught yelling at someone one phone.
With the fate of Joe Biden's legislative agenda hanging in the balance, it must've been nice for Speaker Pelosi to get away from the Democrat Civil War taking place on Capitol Hill, down a vodka or ten and watch a little baseball.
Except, when the camera panned to her, she was . . . screaming at someone on the phone.
One wonders what had gotten her so riled up:
4) Biden was at the game.
Biden DIDN'T wear a mask here.
Biden DID wear a mask here.
And was booed.
Sadly, I could not locate any reports any chants of "Fuck Joe Biden" that have become so popular in college football stadiums.
5) Greg Steube hit a laser out of the park.
Check out this absolute piss missile off the bat of Florida Congressman, Greg Steube:
This was a legitimate, ball over the fence, major league, home run and the first one since Ron Paul did the same back in 1979.
I propose a new rule: if you're a sitting Congressman and you hit a ball out of the ball park during the Congressional baseball game, you immediately assume the title of Speaker of the House.
If you physically dominate the opposition party like that on the baseball field, you should get to boss them around in the House Chamber. That's
Steube should walk into every session of Congress hence forth, flex his bicep and give it a smooch in the faces of all of his Democrat colleagues.
Relinquish your speakership, Pelosi! I bet you wont, COWARD!
Steube even caught the game winning out for the GOP, who won 13-12 in a exhibition of pathetic athleticism and piss poor technique.
Happy Thursday and God Bless America.