Flappr Fantasy Football Week Three: BIG Trouble In Little Italy

Week 3 of the Flappr Fantasy Football League has brought the dreaded injury bug into the conversation. Players getting hurt on game day significantly impacted two of the games this weekend, causing their teams to score less than 90 points.

Going into Thursday night, the Italian Defense League (@michcusejac5) was undefeated and playing Two Scoops (@_Miller__Lite_). The Italians had been a high scoring team behind the strong performances of Christian McCaffrey, who left his game with a hamstring injury. This set a bad tone for the weekend, and Two Scoops ran away with the contest, winning by almost 60.

Doc, you gotta fix McCaffrey. Capisce?

The other matchup with significant injuries was the one between the Penalty Boxers (@ground_miller) 1-2 vs. Stephanie’s Amazing Team (@Stephanieco15) 1-2. After her big win in Week 1, Stephanie has been MIA. She ended up leaving Dalvin Cook in the lineup after being declared out of the game Sunday, and had A.J. Brown get hurt early. This led to the lowest point total of the weekend, and the 1st win for the Penalty Boxers. The rest of the league was getting worried that maybe Stephanie had been Twitter banned. As it turned out, it’s just first world problems.

And while she’s been ignoring the boys in the league, she has been out trying to recruit one of Bartleby’s receivers.

Next up is league leading Bad Mans (@snakebro7) 3-0 vs. Fugly Slots (@balling_it) 0-3. This was the closest game of the weekend, but the Slots didn’t really have anyone on their bench who could have won the game for them. Leroy was so confident, he played in a softball tournament Sunday while his FFL team won.

Being from the Southside of Chicago, Leroy Brown certainly plays the Chicago version of softball, which uses a 16” softball. For those of you unfamiliar with this abomination, the ball looks like a baseball that went to Trinidad and got double vaccinated with Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend. Because the larger softball allows the game to be played in a smaller space without gloves, countless Illinois schoolchildren have been forced to play this rather than real baseball or softball in PE.

Chicago balls are bigger, just like the pizza

The highest scoring game of the week had the Master Bedroom Dwellers (@Twi77erSuxDong) 1-2 vs. Derrick Henry’s White Twin (@jonbrooks935) 3-0: @jonbrooks935 gets the Flappr Top Hat award for the second week in a row by scoring the most points during the week. The Dwellers had surprise starter Alexander Mattison’s 23.1 points on the bench, but it wouldn’t have won him the game. For that, we will give him this week’s Flappr Forgotten Man award.

The last game of the week was the Hackensack Cockles (@Travis_Tyree) 1-2 vs. M.I.L.F (Man I Love Football) (@ElderBartleby) 1-2: In a battle between Flappr contributors, @Travis_Tyree stopped taking thirst trap selfies this week, and his running backs carried him to his first victory. Rather than wallow in self-pity over the Bears and M.I.L.F. losing, Bartleby cranked out this winner of a column.

See you next week!